Calming Your Child with Michael Hempseed & Dame Sue Bagshaw

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based chats with guests Dame Sue Bagshaw and Michael Hempseed. They discuss their book ‘Calming Your Child: De-escalating tantrums, anxiety, aggression, and other challenging behaviors.

 

 

Episode Highlights

• 01:12 – Dr. Carla asks Dame Sue how does one earn the title of Dame?
• 03:04 – Dr. Carla mentions that this book is a handful for a lot of parents and caregivers out there who are looking at their children and saying “Oh, my goodness, what do I do, or how do I call my child?
• 04:16 – Dr. Carla enquires, when Mom walks into the store, little Billy starts having an intense tantrum right there at the store, what’s a mom to do rather than pick him up and run back out to the car?
• 06:17 – Michael says, we need to look a little deeper at what's causing this behavior.
• 08:07 – People can also have the opposite where they don't perceive so much information, we call it ‘Under Sensitivity’. A lot of these children tend to be quite clumsy.
• 10:00 – Dame says it's probably more to do with how the brain processes the information that's coming in from the ears or the eyes or the smell or the bits of skin.
• 12:39 – Dr. Carla highlights, that we look at things like school shootings, even if a child was not in that classroom, of course, they may ultimately have PTSD.
• 13:12 – Injury not only comes from verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse but also an experience of being terrified or the experience of being frightened, states Dame.
• 15:07 – Michael says, sometimes we underestimate the impact that children may have watching traumatic things on the news.
• 18:39 – Dr. Carla enquires from Dame, what are one or two practical tips that a parent could get in their hands and heart around?
• 20:15 – Dame states that anything that helps brain growth for children is important.
• 23:10 – What would he say about a parent who suspects that maybe a sensory issue is at work or would want to know more? Asks Dr. Carla.
• 25: 00 - It's about slowing down to find out what's going on underneath, rather than assuming that my child is a monster or my child is trying to get attention or my child is a drama queen, says Dr. Carla.
• 27:08 – Dr. Carla points out that our children, their brains need lots of sleep, but they're not getting very much sleep. 
• 29:30 – Dame says, ensure that we have a bit of everything and not too much of anything.
• 31:05 – Dr. Carla imagines that food is a big part of an underestimated part of behavioral issues.
• 33:03 – Michael mentions that in the book, they offer approximately 40 or 50 different strategies because every child is different. But it's so important to know that there are things that can be done.

Three Key Points

1. Michael shares the key in his book that is helping families be happy together - a lot of families are getting torn apart by children’s serious behavioral issues. We often know that having a child with behavioral difficulties can put severe stress on a marriage. Many children with behavioral issues don't sleep very well at night. They can wake up with nightmares, or they can wake up screaming. We know that when people are tired or when people are sleep deprived, that's when Healthy Families don't have fun. 
2. Dame shares the tips - the first is eating together is important. If one gets that habit right from the start when they're little and then keeps it going through teenage times that’s so helpful. The other tip is, if one has got more than one child, try and spend some time alone with each child. The number of bad behaviors that accrue from jealousy. Spending some individual time with each child is important. 
3. Michael highlights how parents can know more about sensory issues – they can go down a formal diagnosis route, but other times it's quite easy to pick up. If they see a child that's putting their hands over their ears around loud noises, that could be an indicator. Another really clear indicator is, that if children either hit against a wall or on a desk repeatedly, it's often a really good indicator that they've got sensory issues. So sometimes they don't necessarily need a formal diagnosis, and then once they are aware of that, they can start to make changes. It's recognizing what is going on and not just thinking this child's difficult for the sake of it. 

 

 

Tweetable Quotes

• “I think with children, we must try and fit from their point of view.” - Dame Sue Bagshaw
• “The way that we perceive the world is not the way that everyone else perceives the world.” - Michael Hempseed
• “People can also have the opposite where they don't perceive so much information, we call it as under sensitivity.” - Michael Hempseed
• Some children on the autism spectrum like their skin brushed with a hairbrush or special brushes because it feels very good and very soothing.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “Teachers are reporting more students with sensory issues in the past, and in some cases, it could be a response from a pandemic.” - Michael Hempseed
• “Any person in any situation can experience PTSD if they feel overwhelmed, terrified, out of control by a stimulating event or overstimulating event.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “Injuries are what is upsetting the brain processes.” - Dame Sue Bagshaw
• “It's really important not to let children watch the news.” - Dame Sue Bagshaw
• “It was found that the people that watched that repeatedly on TV reported higher levels of distress, and pain.” - Michael Hempseed
• “We sometimes forget that the brain soaks things in especially at night.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “Families that eat together are happy.” - Dame Sue Bagshaw
• “Just around the table together, even if it's only for 5 or 10 minutes every day.” - Dame Sue Bagshaw
• “It's been discovered that core sleep is a significant risk for suicide.” - Michael Hempseed
• “Stay away from those sugary sodas and have some water.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families be Happy Podcast  Apple
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly  Website  LinkedIn  Twitter    Instagram

• Calming Your Child: Twitter Facebook Amazon
• Podcast Editing