Helping Families Be Happy

Laurie Duersch, a book editor and two-time brain tumor survivor, joins host Christopher Robbins to discuss her new picture book The Book Machine, which celebrates children's innate creativity and imagination. The episode explores how boredom fuels creativity, why parents should embrace "failure" as learning, and how to cultivate creative confidence in children by allowing experimentation, praising effort over results, and creating safe spaces for messy exploration.

Duersch emphasizes that science and art are complementary forces, both rooted in curiosity, and that children naturally arrive equipped with storytelling abilities that adults must nurture rather than suppress. 

Episode Highlights 

00:02:15: Laurie introduces her background as a professional book editor, mother of two, and two-time brain surgery survivor who understands resilience and wonder. 

00:04:30: The concept that children are born with a "book machine" inside them—an innate ability to create and share stories before they can even write. 

00:06:45: How Laurie discovered the book idea by watching her toddler play with boxes and books while she resisted the urge to scroll on her phone, demonstrating the power of boredom and presence. 

00:10:20: The connection between science and art as complementary teammates, both rooted in curiosity, rather than opposing forces of logic versus imagination. 

00:14:00: Practical strategies for nurturing creative confidence: allowing experimentation and "failure," praising effort and ideas over results, creating messy creative spaces, encouraging questions, and listening to children's stories. 

Key Takeaways 

Boredom is essential for creativity—constant entertainment and screens prevent the mind from generating original ideas and discovering solutions independently. 

Reframe "failure" as learning and discovery; children don't truly fail until they stop trying, and resilience builds through experimentation and disappointment. 

Parents should prioritize listening to children's stories and creating safe, permission-filled environments where imperfection and messiness are acceptable parts of the creative process. 

Quotable Moments 

• "They just are built to want to share and explore. And to me, I just think it is so important that we encourage that."
• "You never actually fail until you stop trying." 
• "Our kids just want to be heard. They just want to be listened to. And who better than from their parents who just love them and want the best for them." 

Host Christopher Robbins interviews author Deborah Williams about creating meaningful bedtime routines that prioritize security over perfection. Williams shares insights from raising nine children and observing her grandchildren across two vastly different family schedules—one highly structured, one flexible—revealing that consistency in love matters far more than rigid routines. Through charming anecdotes about unconventional security objects (from pizza crusts to hammers) and a chaotic household filled with animals, Williams demonstrates that children thrive when they feel safe, loved, and connected through bedtime stories, regardless of the specific routine. 

Episode Highlights 

00:02:15: Christopher introduces Deborah Williams and her refreshing philosophy that there is no one perfect way to handle bedtime routines.

00:05:30: Deborah discusses her observation of two different parenting styles in her own family—one highly organized Seattle schedule and one flexible restaurant industry rhythm—with equally successful outcomes. 

00:08:45: Deborah shares the story of her adopted son from Korea who found comfort in sleeping with a pizza crust under his pillow for several nights. 

00:12:20: Christopher recounts his own family's unusual security objects, including his daughter sleeping with a garter snake named Bubba and a son who still sleeps with a pocket knife at age 34. 

00:16:50: Deborah describes the chaotic household pets, including Tootsie Roll the pig that grew much larger than expected and a cat named Popcorn who gave birth to kittens in her daughter's crib. 

00:22:30: Discussion of why dinosaurs were chosen as the main characters for "Nighty Night Dinos," emphasizing that dinosaurs are comforting because they're not real and give children a sense of control. 

00:26:15: Deborah reflects on her lifelong love of dinosaurs, stemming from finding an actual dinosaur bone as a first grader in upstate New York. 

Key Takeaways 

• Perfect bedtime routines are less important than consistency in love and security; children thrive when they feel emotionally safe regardless of schedule structure. 
• Unconventional security objects—whether pizza crusts, hammers, or snakes—serve a legitimate developmental purpose and should be respected rather than dismissed. 
• Bedtime stories are the universal anchor across all family types; this consistent practice matters more than the specific timing or format of the routine. 
• Flexibility in parenting approaches allows families to adapt to their circumstances while maintaining the core element of emotional security for children. 

Quotable Moments 

"Whatever gets you through the night, it's all right." — Deborah Williams (attributing John Lennon) 

"Kids are flexible. Families are different. Families are flexible also. And you just do what works for your family with love and keeping the kids secure." — Deborah Williams 

"I think dinosaurs are comforting to kids. For when they're not around, you know, they're not real. They're big animals that the kids can be in charge of." — Deborah Williams 

Raising Nature Lovers: Why Every Child Needs a Bird Book 

Christopher Robbins hosts a conversation with Zev Labinger, a visual artist, musician, and ecologist, about the newly published book "Hear Them Sing: Songs and Calls from North American Birds." Labinger, who immigrated to Israel in 1986 driven by his passion for ornithology, shares how his lifelong fascination with birds—beginning in fifth grade—shaped his career as both a wildlife biologist and accomplished nature artist. The episode explores the intersection of art and science, examining how drawing and observation deepen understanding of the natural world, and discusses the transformative power of bird books in inspiring children to appreciate and explore nature. 

Episode Highlights 

00:02:15: Zev's origin story—how a fifth-grade teacher's bird group inspired him to draw birds on index cards, launching a lifelong passion that ultimately led him to Israel. 

00:05:30: The revelation that birds are modern-day dinosaurs, connecting childhood fascination with dinosaurs to contemporary ornithological understanding of avian evolution. 

00:08:45: Zev's discovery of painting bird eggs for the book—a new artistic challenge that revealed unexpected diversity in egg shapes, colors, and sizes across North American species. 

00:12:20: Scientific explanation of egg coloration: cavity-nesting birds have white eggs (no camouflage needed), while ground-nesting birds have speckled eggs for protection, though robin's egg blue remains somewhat mysterious. 

00:18:30: The distinction between illustration and art—illustrators plan precisely before execution, while artists search and evolve throughout the creative process, discovering meaning as they work. 

00:22:45: Zev's childhood relationship with bird books as a "lifeline" before digital media, particularly the illustrated works of Roger Tory Peterson and Arthur Singer. 

00:28:15: The emotional impact of seeing children worldwide enjoying the book through social media, described as "one of the greatest feelings you can have." 

Key Takeaways 

• Drawing and careful observation force deeper understanding—to accurately depict something, you must understand its three-dimensional form, function, and details in ways that passive viewing cannot achieve. 
• Bird books serve as gateways to nature appreciation; they create bidirectional connections where children recognize birds from books in nature and later identify real birds through illustrated references. 
• The creative process differs fundamentally between illustration (predetermined execution) and fine art (exploratory discovery), though both require mastery and can coexist in an artist's practice. 
• Nature study through art reveals ongoing mysteries—even experts cannot fully explain phenomena like robin's egg coloration, preserving wonder and inviting continued investigation. 
• Sharing creative work with the world, particularly when it inspires children to engage with nature, provides profound fulfillment that extends beyond personal artistic satisfaction. 

Quotable Moments 

"It's all about the birds. It's all about the birds, yeah. It's been a major part of my life." 

"To draw it, you have to really understand. You have to understand it in three dimensions. You have to understand everything, what all the pieces are in there." 

"An illustrator figures out exactly what they're going to do before they do it and they execute it exactly like they want it. And an artist is searching all the time." 

"Books were a lifeline, you know, especially as a kid... when I had my bar mitzvah at 13, almost everybody gave me bird books." "I think birds can be like a stepping off place to just appreciating nature and wanting to go out and see nature." 

"The thought that there's all these children around the world now that are looking through and getting excited or enjoying the book... is probably one of the greatest feelings you can have, I think." 

Phyllis Harris, author-illustrator of the wordless picture book Claude, joins host Christopher Robbins to discuss how inspiration strikes during life's mundane moments—bike rides, driving, mowing—when the mind is free from digital distractions.

Harris reveals that her debut picture book was inspired by Claude Monet's paintings and her own dog, Brinkley's, interruptions while she works, ultimately teaching readers that perfectionism stifles creativity and "glorious accidents" often produce the best art. The conversation celebrates wordless picture books as confidence-builders for reluctant readers and emphasizes that creative play trumps perfectionist precision.

Episode Highlights
00:02:15: Phyllis introduces Claude, a wordless picture book inspired by Claude Monet paintings and her dog Brinkley's interference with her creative work.

00:04:30: Harris explains the organic decision to make Claude wordless after realizing words weren't necessary and discovering wordless books build confidence in early readers.

00:06:45: Phyllis shares her 25-year journey from illustration (starting 1999) to becoming an author-illustrator with multiple traditionally published works.

00:09:20: Harris reveals her creative inspiration comes during low-tech moments—biking, driving, and mowing—when her mind is free to wander without phone interruptions.

00:11:40: The core message of Claude: perfectionism is creativity's enemy; the masterpiece emerges through play and releasing the need to be perfect before starting.

Key Takeaways

• Wordless picture books are powerful tools for building reading confidence and encouraging imagination in reluctant readers, allowing them to interpret emotion and action independently.
• Creativity flourishes during unstructured, screen-free moments; protect time away from digital distractions to let your mind wander and generate ideas naturally.
• Perfectionism is the enemy of creative work; embrace "glorious accidents" and prioritize playful exploration over flawless execution to discover your best ideas.

Quotable Moments

• "I really feel like that's not a friend to creativity. So I'm hoping they realize you don't have to be perfect before you start that you can just play and have fun."
• "And that's usually when the masterpiece comes about when you're not trying so hard to be perfect."
• "I think that's because I realized I'm not being constantly on my phone on the screen or constantly interrupted and having my mind elsewhere. I have a lot more time to just really focus and think that's when my imagination, I guess it goes crazy."

Finding Hope After Suicide Loss

In this powerful episode, host Christopher Robbins speaks with Lisa Sugarman, author, mental health advocate, and three-time suicide loss survivor. Lisa shares her profound journey of discovering at age 45 that her father—whom she believed died of a heart attack when she was 10—actually died by suicide. The conversation explores how language shapes stigma around suicide, the importance of direct communication when someone may be experiencing suicidal ideation, and Lisa's work as a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project. Lisa discusses her creation of the Help Hub, a comprehensive digital resource connecting people to trauma-informed support tailored to specific communities, and emphasizes that surviving means choosing to stay, finding meaning, and using one's pain to help others feel less alone. 

Lisa shares insights from her latest book, Surviving: Finding Hope After Suicide Loss.

Episode Highlights

00:03:45: Lisa reveals learning the truth about her father's suicide 35 years after his death during a random family conversation, fundamentally reshaping her understanding of his life and her own grief journey.

00:08:20: Discussion of the Help Hub's creation out of necessity to provide centralized, community-specific mental health resources in one accessible digital space for people in crisis.

00:12:15: Lisa explains why language matters: using "died by suicide" instead of "committed suicide" removes stigma tied to crime and sin, restoring dignity to those who struggled with mental illness.

00:16:40: Christopher shares his own experience asking a child directly about self-harm and suicide ideation, validating Lisa's emphasis on direct, honest communication as potentially life-saving.

00:22:05: Lisa describes her four years as a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, the largest LGBTQ crisis hotline for at-risk youth, and how it shaped her understanding that hope exists in small moments of human connection.

00:28:30: Lisa emphasizes the power of storytelling in breaking silence around painful experiences, allowing others to feel less alone and realize they're not the only ones dealing with grief, loss, and mental illness.

00:35:15: Discussion of sitting with grief rather than rushing through it—grief is not linear and doesn't pass, but weaves into our psyche as something we learn to carry while honoring what we've lost.

Key Takeaways

• Language profoundly shapes how we understand and stigmatize mental illness; replacing "committed suicide" with "died by suicide" restores dignity and removes associations with crime and sin.
• When someone may be experiencing suicidal ideation, showing up, staying present, and asking directly—"Are you thinking of taking your life?"—is more helpful than finding perfect words or trying to fix the situation.
• Sharing our painful stories breaks silence, helps others feel less alone, and redistributes the emotional weight we carry, making healing possible through human connection rather than isolation.
• Grief is not linear and doesn't end; healing comes from sitting with pain intentionally, honoring what we've lost, and learning to carry grief as part of our ongoing story.
• Technology like the Help Hub bridges digital access to resources with real human connection, recognizing that while platforms open doors, people walking through them together is what creates healing.

Quotable Moments

• "Learning that didn't actually shift the story. It really just blew up and reshaped my entire life."
• "You would never judge or stigmatize someone who was killed in a car crash or who died of heart failure. But we do that with people who suffer from mental illness."
• "The most important thing that you can do is just to show up, just to show up and to stay with that person. We don't have to find the perfect words."
• "Hope doesn't have to be big and loud. It can be just getting through the next 10 minutes or the next day. And sometimes it's just one person listening without judging."
• "The real strength is actually in showing your vulnerability and being open and honest."
• "Grief is not something that you move through on a timeline. It's not linear the way maybe we think it is, or maybe we wish it could be. It's just something that we learn to carry."
• "Surviving means using everything that I personally have been through to help somebody else feel less alone and that they can find hope and that they can move forward."

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Christopher Robbins welcomes author Tracy C. Gold to discuss her picture books "Call Your Mother" and "Call Your Father." Tracy shares insights from writing these books, which celebrate the importance of staying connected with parents across generations. The conversation explores how to avoid stereotypes about parental roles, emphasizing that fathers are equally capable of nurturing, comforting, and caring for children. Christopher and Tracy discuss the reality of modern parenting, including how different children have different communication styles—some call frequently, others prefer texting or memes—and how grandparents play vital roles in family support systems. The episode highlights the privilege of maintaining parent-child connections throughout life and the bittersweet reality of watching children grow and leave home.

Episode Highlights

00:00:45: Introduction of Tracy C. Gold, author of children's books including "Call Your Father" and "Call Your Mother," which inspire connections between families and nature.

00:03:15: Tracy explains the origin of "Call Your Mother" from a family joke where her grandfather would tell her father to call his mother, sparking the book series idea.

00:05:30: Discussion of intentionally avoiding stereotypes in the books—showing fathers performing all childcare duties including newborn care, potty training, and emotional support.

00:08:45: Christopher shares his personal experience with nine children, noting that communication styles vary greatly—some call daily, others text memes or never contact him.

00:12:00: Tracy emphasizes that the books celebrate fathers comforting children through failure, handling bathroom emergencies, and addressing bullying—roles traditionally attributed to mothers.

00:14:30: Discussion of intentionally not showing a partner in the books to avoid depicting one parent as idle and to represent diverse family structures (single parents, military families, same-sex couples).

00:17:45: Tracy reveals her favorite humorous moments are the "potty pages" that get big laughs from children during readings.

00:19:30: Christopher reflects on the 36-year parenting journey with his wife Michelle, emphasizing equal partnership in all household and childcare responsibilities.

Key Takeaways

• Fathers are equally capable of all aspects of childcare and emotional support—challenge stereotypes by expecting and allowing dads to nurture, comfort, and guide children through life's challenges.
• Connection with parents takes many forms; not all children call frequently, but texting, memes, and group chats are equally valid ways to maintain relationships and stay connected.
• Parental partnership requires intentional effort and shared responsibility across all tasks—cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, and emotional support should not fall disproportionately on one parent.
• Grandparents are valuable family assets who can provide essential childcare support and intergenerational connection when parents allow their involvement.
• Representation in children's literature matters; books should reflect diverse family structures and show parents of all types succeeding in their roles.

Quotable Moments

"I really wanted to show that dads can do everything that moms can do, except for some biological things, perhaps, and that we should support them to do that."

"Change the diaper. Yeah. Do the vacuuming. I don't know if a woman can find anything more sexy than a man vacuuming the floor."

"You've succeeded as a parent when they're able to" [leave home].

"I have succeeded if you put down these books and you call your mom, your dad, or anybody who's served that role for you in your life."

"One step at a time, calling your parents. Every day you can make the world a happier place."

Central Park: Adventures Through the Seasons

Join host Christopher Robbins as he explores the magic of Central Park with librarian and author Christina Ergenay in this delightful episode about urban green spaces and seasonal adventures.

Through discussion of Ergenay's beautifully illustrated children's book "Central Park: Adventures Through the Seasons," listeners will discover why urban parks are essential sanctuaries in bustling cities, how they combat anxiety and stress, and what families can gain from exploring nature together. This episode celebrates the importance of shared reading experiences, outdoor exploration, and the transformative power of green spaces in creating happier, healthier families.

Key Takeaways

• Urban parks like Central Park serve as crucial reset spaces that lower blood pressure, boost mood, and provide relief from the stress and overstimulation of city life.
• Reading aloud together as a family - especially rhyming picture books - strengthens language development and creates meaningful bonding time while exploring nature through imagination.
• Cities that invest in maintaining green spaces contribute directly to the health and well-being of residents and visitors by providing accessible nature experiences regardless of age.
• Limiting screen time and encouraging park exploration can help address anxiety and stress challenges, particularly in young people struggling with the pressures of modern life.
• Central Park offers diverse experiences for all ages and interests, from frisbee in Sheep Meadow to birdwatching in the Ramble, making it a destination for every family member. 

Quotable Moments

• "Urban parks really have that effect. And I think it's nice, especially to draw attention to Central Park, which is really such a favorite of mine."
• "Connecting with nature can really boost our mood and just by going for a walk, just by kind of quieting the sounds."
• "I really hope that families want to explore this park. It's just this amazing park."
• "I love the way he creates motion from illustrations. So whether it's a soft snow flurry or the flapping of butterfly wings, he really does such a beautiful job of capturing that kind of dynamic motion."

A Walk in the Forest with Cathy Goldberg Fishman

Host Christopher Robbins welcomes children's book author Cathy Goldberg Fishman to discuss her new book, A Walk in the Forest, which celebrates trees from around the world and their cultural significance. Fishman, a former teacher and bookstore owner, shares her thoughtful selection of representative trees for ten countries—including the sequoia for the United States, the banyan tree for India, the olive tree for Israel, the ginkgo for China, and the beech tree for the United Kingdom. Each tree was chosen to highlight both ecological importance and cultural meaning, while the book also teaches children to count from one to ten through beautiful illustrations by Melanie Hall. The conversation emphasizes that tree celebrations exist
worldwide, demonstrating our shared global commitment to preserving forests and recognizing their vital role as planetary lungs and sources of cultural identity.

Episode Highlights
00:02:15: Introduction of Cathy Goldberg Fishman and her background as a children's book author, former teacher, and owner of Eeyore's Tale bookstore.

00:04:30: Fishman explains her choice of the sequoia for the United States, influenced by her son's work on environmental issues at the Bipartisan Policy Center.

00:06:45: Discussion of the banyan tree for India, which uniquely grows roots down from branches to form new trunks, creating an upside-down appearance.

00:09:20: Exploration of the olive tree's significance for Israel, its role in Hanukkah traditions, and its symbolism of peace.

00:12:50: Detailed discussion of the ginkgo tree from China, called the "living fossil," with fan-shaped leaves that turn gold in fall.

00:15:30: Fishman's selection of the rubber tree for Brazil and its connection to rainforest preservation and the planet's ecological health.

00:18:45: Favorite illustration featuring the beech tree from the United Kingdom with children at a picnic, symbolizing friendship and inclusion.

00:21:00: Revelation that every country featured has its own tree celebration day, demonstrating universal recognition of trees' importance across cultures.

Key Takeaways

• Trees serve as powerful cultural symbols and are celebrated worldwide through designated tree celebration days, showing shared global values across diverse nations.
• Children's literature can simultaneously educate on multiple levels—teaching about environmental conservation, cultural diversity, counting skills, and the importance of friendship and inclusion.
• Preserving forests, particularly rainforests like those in Brazil, is critical because they function as the planet's lungs and support biodiversity and human survival.
• Individual trees possess unique characteristics worth celebrating: the sequoia's size, the ginkgo's ancient lineage, the banyan's architectural uniqueness, and the beech's sheltering capacity.
• One person's awareness and action—whether planting a tree on Arbor Day or choosing to feature endangered species in literature—can inspire global consciousness about environmental stewardship.

Quotable Moments

• "I chose the sequoia. I was going to go with another one, but then I talked with my son, who is very involved in environmental issues through the Bipartisan Policy Center in Washington, D.C. And he said, Mom, we just talked about the sequoia and how endangered it is."
• "The ginkgo tree is sometimes called the living fossil, and it's one of the oldest tree species in the whole world."
• "Every country I've chosen has their own tree celebration, whether it's in July or January or October or November, the countries have tree celebrations. And the reason I think this is important is because it shows us that we all have things in common, that all over the world, trees are important and all over the world, they should be celebrated."

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Christopher Robbins interviews New York Times bestselling author Richard Eyre about his latest book, "The Grandparenting Blueprint." Richard, a father of nine with 34 grandchildren, shares his insights on modern grandparenting and the importance of teaching life lessons to grandchildren.

The conversation explores the "12 secrets" Richard has developed to pass on to his grandchildren at different ages, covering topics like joy, choices, popularity, money management, and decision-making. Richard emphasizes the critical balance grandparents must strike between being involved and supportive while respecting that parents are ultimately in charge, advocating for proactive grandparenting that can profoundly impact future generations.

Episode Highlights
00:00:15: Christopher welcomes listeners to the Helping Families Be Happy podcast and
introduces himself as co-founder of Famis, husband, father of nine, author, fly fisherman, and backpacker based in California's central valley.
00:00:15: Richard Eyre is introduced as a New York Times number one bestselling author with more than 50 books in print who speaks to audiences in over 60 countries and now focuses on grandparenting and three-generation family management.
00:01:16: Christopher explains that the podcast aligns with the Famis 10 Habits of Happy Families and directs listeners to the Habit Hub blog and YouTube channel for more resources.
00:01:16: Richard welcomes the opportunity to discuss grandparenting with a fellow father of nine, noting the difference in their grandchildren count—Christopher has two while Richard has 34.
00:02:20: Christopher asks Richard why "The Grandparenting Blueprint" is so important to him and what motivated him to share his experiences.
00:02:58: Richard explains that writers do their best work when writing about current experiences in their lives, and grandparenting is now his daily reality with abundant material.
00:02:58: Richard describes how grandparenting is becoming a science similar to how parenting evolved, with people actively seeking knowledge on how to be effective grandparents.
00:04:00: Richard notes that grandparenting used to be something that just happened to people, but now it's becoming intentional as people realize they may be grandparents for 40 years.
00:04:50: Christopher begins to discuss the 12 secrets organized by age groups (8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18) that Richard shares in his book.
00:05:18: Richard explains the book has two parts—the first covers the basics of grandparenting using the TEAM approach acronym, while the second part presents the secrets.
00:06:13: Richard details the TEAM approach: Trunk (connecting family branches), Ear (listening to grandkids), Assembler (gathering family together), and Match (matching funds rather than just giving money).
00:07:07: Richard shares how calling principles "secrets" captured his grandchildren's attention far better than presenting them as lectures or lessons.
00:07:54: Richard reveals that the grandchildren contributed to the book by sharing their reactions and perspectives on each secret at a family reunion.

00:08:49: Christopher lists all 12 secrets: joy, leadership, choices, popularity, the single tree, magic words, faith, transforming, money and work, the ring of truth, weekly planning, and advanced decision making.
00:09:03: Christopher focuses on the secret about choices, relating it to his own teaching that people are free to choose but not free from consequences.
00:09:37: Richard explains there are two types of choices—those that can be made in advance (like decisions about drugs, smoking, drinking) and those that cannot (like who to marry or what career to pursue).
00:10:31: Richard describes how he has grandchildren make lists of decisions they can make in advance before facing crisis moments.
00:11:24: Richard explains the process for big decisions that can't be made in advance, involving thinking, analyzing, meditating, seeking advice, and pondering for confirmation before finalizing.
00:12:11: Richard shares that he had to get permission from his grandchildren at a family reunion to share the secrets in a book.
00:12:32: Christopher jokes about the Eyre family wanting a competitive advantage, and Richard responds that the grandkids agreed but wanted part of the royalties.
00:12:45: Christopher highlights the popularity secret for 10-12 year olds: good popularity comes frombeing nice to everyone and lasts, while bad popularity comes from only being nice to certain people and doesn't last.

00:14:03: Richard explains why ages 10-12 are critical for this message, as it's when girls become clique- ish and boys face bullying issues in middle school.

00:14:03: Richard shares how grandchildren have memorized the secrets and how he has used small bribes to encourage memorization.
00:15:06: Christopher moves to the money and work secret for age 16, which teaches that work is a blessing and money is a means, not an end.
00:15:54: Richard emphasizes the importance of teaching that there's no free lunch and the need to work for what you get.
00:16:45: Richard stresses the importance of not overstepping boundaries with adult children by criticizing their parenting approaches to money and work.
00:17:44: Richard describes the grandparents' bank concept where grandchildren can deposit money and earn generous interest to learn about saving.
00:17:44: Richard explains the 10-20-70 principle: give away 10%, save 20%, and use 70% for living expenses.
00:18:43: Richard shares that with parental permission, he takes 16-year-old grandchildren to open Schwab accounts to begin real investing.
00:19:11: Christopher emphasizes that you don't need to be wealthy to be a decent investor, sharing his own experience of starting with $25 per paycheck in a 401k.
00:20:13: Richard explains how he opens custodial Roth IRA accounts for grandchildren at 16 and
matches whatever they contribute to encourage saving.
00:20:33: Christopher asks how to navigate the reality that grandchildren have parents who may have different values and viewpoints.
00:21:36: Richard advises taking parents to dinner monthly or quarterly to ask how grandparents can help while acknowledging parents are in charge.
00:21:36: Richard describes the five facet review process: asking parents about grandchildren's physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual development.
00:22:46: Richard emphasizes that establishing a supportive rather than takeover relationship deepens connections with adult children and increases time with grandchildren.
00:23:27: Christopher shares a powerful story about his grandfather taking him to Hawaii for two weeks when he was 12 and his grandfather was 92.

00:24:10: Christopher describes how his grandfather asked him about what type of person he wanted to marry, which profoundly influenced his dating and marriage choices.
00:25:08: Richard amplifies Christopher's point about the social distance between grandparents and grandchildren allowing for instant trust and better listening.
00:25:08: Richard encourages grandparents to be proactive rather than retiring from family involvement, as it makes a real difference in grandchildren's lives.
00:25:19: Christopher asks where listeners can find Richard online, and Richard directs them to
valuesparenting.com.
00:25:37: Christopher concludes by thanking Richard and providing publication details for "The
Grandparenting Blueprint," available March 2026 from Familius.

Key Takeaways

• Grandparenting is evolving from something that just happens to an intentional practice requiring knowledge and skills, especially as people may be grandparents for 40 years or more.
• The TEAM approach provides a framework for effective grandparenting: be the Trunk connecting family, the Ear listening attentively, the Assembler gathering everyone together, and Match funds rather than simply giving money.
• Teaching life principles as "secrets" rather than lectures captures children's attention and makes them more receptive to learning important values.
• There are two types of choices: those that can be decided in advance (like avoiding drugs or drinking) and major life decisions (like marriage or career) that require careful thought, analysis, and confirmation.
• Good popularity comes from being nice to everyone and lasts, while bad popularity from being selective doesn't last—a critical lesson for 10-12 year olds facing cliques and bullying.
• Teaching financial literacy early through concepts like a grandparents' bank, the 10-20-70 principle, and custodial investment accounts prepares grandchildren for financial independence.
• Grandparents must respect that parents are in charge by regularly consulting with them, asking how to help, and never overstepping boundaries or criticizing parenting choices.
  The social distance between grandparents and grandchildren allows for unique trust and listening opportunities that parents may not have due to daily responsibilities.
• One-on-one time between grandparents and grandchildren creates lasting memories and profound influences that children remember throughout their lives.
• Proactive grandparenting involvement rather than retirement from family life makes a significant difference in grandchildren's development and future success.

Quotable Moments

• "I think all writers, certainly in my case it's true, do their best work when they're writing about something, that they're actually doing something that's current in their own lives."
• "Grandparenting is sort of where parenting was maybe 50 years ago. I mean, it, it's, it's just becoming a thing...they've realized that they may be grandparents for 40 years."
• "The minute I put the word secrets on it, hey, I gotta take, I got a couple of secrets for you. At least I had their attention."
• "You are free to choose whatever you want, but once you choose, you are no longer free of the consequences, which follow and consequences are both good and bad"
• "If you make a decision and then you ponder it, you think about it for a while and you, if you're a praying person, you ask God to confirm that decision."
• "Good popularity comes from being nice to everyone and it lasts. Bad popularity comes from only being nice to certain people and it doesn't"
• "Kids, even young ones, they are smarter than we think they are."
• "Work is a blessing and the money it earns is a means and not an end"
• "If you go in thinking you are in charge, you're gonna, you're gonna fail and you're gonna drive a wedgevbetween you and your children."
• "Once a month or even once a quarter, go to dinner with the parents of that grandchild."
• "There is a social distance between a grandparent and a grandchild that allows for a more instant kind of trust and listening and awareness."
• "Be a proactive grandparent. Don't, don't sit in the corner and watch, don't retire."

In this episode, we sit down with Andrew Dutton, a middle school digital media teacher, photographer, and sneaker enthusiast with over 400,000 Instagram followers. Andrew shares his journey from childhood basketball player captivated by athletic footwear to becoming a recognized sneaker photographer and collector. He discusses how he integrates his passion for sneakers into his teaching, using them as conversation starters and creative assignments for his students. The conversation explores the intersection of art, fashion, and function in sneaker culture, as well as Andrew's process for balancing his professional life, family responsibilities, and creative pursuits.

Episode Highlights
00:00:10: Christopher Robbins introduces the Helping Families Be Happy podcast and welcomes guest Andrew Dutton, a photographer and middle school digital media teacher who has built a following of over 400,000 on Instagram through sneaker photography.
00:01:49: Andrew thanks Christopher for having him on the podcast.
00:01:52: Christopher discusses his own limited knowledge of sneakers, mentioning Chuck Taylor
Converse sneakers from his youth and a recent experience unknowingly purchasing Hokas.
00:02:15: Andrew responds that original Chuck Taylor sneakers would probably be worth something nice today.
00:02:23: Christopher shares his story about buying Hoka sneakers without realizing their brand
significance until a fashion-conscious friend pointed it out.
00:03:01: Andrew explains how his love of sneakers began with childhood basketball, watching NBA players on ESPN, and receiving Eastbay catalogs in the mail where his parents would order shoes.
00:03:50: Andrew describes keeping those Eastbay magazines and dreaming about Air Jordan shoes that were too expensive for his family, and how wearing cool basketball shoes after the season made him feel important.
00:04:37: Andrew discusses how the feeling of wearing special shoes has stayed with him into adulthood, now viewing sneakers as wearable art created through collaborative design processes.
00:05:43: Christopher asks when Andrew transitioned from viewing sneakers as products to seeing them as art.
00:05:55: Andrew explains that after college and entering teaching, he began questioning his desire for footwear more deeply and appreciating the artistic process, including hand-sketched designs of early Michael Jordan shoes.
00:07:08: Christopher asks about Andrew wearing different shoes every day as a middle school teacher and how it has become a focal point in his classroom.
00:07:22: Andrew confirms he wears his extensive sneaker collection to class as part of being authentic to himself, using shoes as conversation starters to build relationships and trust with students.
00:08:09: Christopher inquires whether Andrew uses shoes to teach specific principles.
00:08:16: Andrew describes a signature assignment where students design their own dream shoe after mastering Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop, encouraging them to tell personal stories through footwear design.
00:09:32: Christopher praises Andrew for inspiring creative thinking in the next generation and asks about his Instagram account with over 400,000 followers

00:09:55: Andrew explains that his Instagram journey began during the pandemic when he couldn't spend time with friends who shared his interest in sneakers, combining his existing photography passion with his love of footwear.
00:10:40: Andrew details how boredom during COVID led him to experiment with photographing shoes using his camera rather than just taking phone snapshots, combining two passions into a never-ending creative process.
00:11:30: Christopher poses a financial question about how Andrew budgets for purchasing so many shoes on a teacher's salary.
00:11:37: Andrew explains his approach of buying and selling shoes over years of patient collecting, advising that no sneaker is worth going into debt for and describing a carousel system of funding new purchases through sales.
00:12:20: Christopher asks how Andrew balances teaching, parenting two young children, and his sneaker passion.
00:12:31: Andrew describes his routine of working during the day, spending time with family after school, and then unwinding in his basement studio taking pictures after the kids are in bed. 
00:13:10: Christopher asks for Andrew's advice to people wanting to lean into their creative passions.
00:13:38: Andrew advises not being afraid of failure, explaining that learning is a process of figuring out what works and doesn't work, and encouraging people to enjoy the creative process rather than expecting immediate mastery.
00:14:31: Christopher asks about Andrew's favorite pair of sneakers
00:14:38: Andrew explains that his favorite changes constantly with new releases, but the Air Jordan 2 model holds special significance as the first signature Jordan shoe he could afford as a junior or senior in high school.
00:15:32: Christopher asks where listeners can find Andrew online
00:15:52: Andrew directs people to his Instagram account at Ad double Sneaks and mentions having a YouTube channel though he's not active there.
00:16:07: Christopher concludes the podcast by thanking Famis for support, encouraging listeners to subscribe and leave reviews, and promoting Andrew's book "The Art of the Sneaker: Form and Function through the Lens of a Collector"

Key Takeaways

• Passion can evolve from childhood interests into meaningful adult pursuits that combine multiple skills and interests, as Andrew's love of basketball footwear developed into professional photography and teaching.
• Authenticity in professional settings, such as bringing personal interests into the classroom, can be a powerful tool for building relationships and engaging students in creative learning
  Creative hobbies can be financially sustainable through strategic buying and selling, rather than requiring unlimited resources or going into debt.
• The key to pursuing creative passions is overcoming fear of failure and embracing the learning process, understanding that mastery takes time and experimentation.
• Sneakers represent more than functional footwear—they embody design artistry, cultural significance, personal expression, and storytelling through material choices, colors, and collaborative creative processes.
• Work-life balance is achievable by intentionally scheduling creative time as a form of personal
  rejuvenation, rather than viewing hobbies as competing with family responsibilities.

Quotable Moments

• "I don't wanna separate who I am from what I'm teaching, so like, I'm gonna be myself, whether, you know, I'm talking to you on a podcast or whether I run into you in the grocery store or whether I'm teaching kids in the classroom, I'm, I wanna be myself all the time."
• "No sneakers worth going into debt for, so please don't do that."
• "My unwind time and my mind freeing activity is just taking pictures."
• "Don't be afraid of failing, because I feel like that's the biggest hurdle that people have to get over is if you start something and you do what you're creatively pursuing and you think that it's not good quality or it doesn't meet whatever standard that you have in your mind, you're just starting. It's okay."
• "Learning's not an easy process. It's a process of figuring out what works and what doesn't work. And if you can learn to enjoy that process, then your creativity will just continue to blossom because you're having fun figuring things out."