Dealing with Depression and Making Art with Owen Dara

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly (A practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California) talks with guest Owen Dara (A Filmmaker, Musician, Writer, and Comedian). Dara talks about how he uses his creative talent including many of them to help families to be happy. Also, he talks about how he dealt with depression for decades from the time he was a young child, till he was a teenager.

 

Episode Highlights

• 01:48 – Owen says, he has always been an artist, even though he didn't acknowledge it when he was growing up, because it wasn't something that was openly supported in his household as a profession.
• 03:57 - When Owen was six years old, they moved to Cork city.
• 05:00 – Owen explains how he came to the US.
• 07: 10 – Owen mentions that he has never regretted moving to the US.
• 10:08 – Owen says, he is prone to depression, and he can't just get depressed with everything else that he was doing. He tried other jobs, and he just thought he has to try to at least express this creativity whether it becomes a profession or not.
• 12:56 – Owen ended up working in the creative arts and got into a college in Australia. He studied for four years at Melbourne University. 
• 14:09 - During the period when Owen was studying, he started doing stand-up comedy, and that opened up the professional world for him.
• 16:07 - Dr. Carla says about Owen that if he had taken a linear path of being a Dentist then how much more difficult it would be for him.
• 19:19 - If Owen had found his true calling there, possibly never would have left that place, and then he would have missed out on so many experiences, says Owen.
• 21:22 - People who don’t suffer from depression, are blessed in his opinion and lucky in many ways. They don't understand what depression is, states Owen.
• 23:41 – Owen says, it was recommended by a teacher of him or a Headmaster at a certain school to his mother that he should seek professional help.
• 25:03 – Owen’s mother said, thinking about what's best for him and his future to get on with it. He didn't know that until he was an adult and went through other bugs of depression and talked to his mother about it.
• 27:07 – Owen says, his Catholic education was maybe what brought him to that place.
• 30:27 – Owen says, being an entertainer helped a lot because being forced to get up in front of people, when he had professional engagements and express himself, helped get it out of him.
• 33:20 - When one suffers from depression, it’s a lifelong thing, one is never cured. One just learns to deal with it better as time goes on, says Owen.
• 34: 37 – Dr. Carla says there are still so many people who believe that depression is something to be gotten over that why don't you just be happy? 
• 36:33 - Each time we go through a phase of depression, it can last up to maybe three or four months, says Owen.
• 38:00 - Sometimes depression comes out of nowhere and they suddenly start thinking we’re fine, states Owen.
• 40:46 – Owen states that he doesn't think his dad would mind him speaking about this because they're being so open and suffered terribly from depression.
• 43:30 - It feels better at the moment, then the next day it's back and the negative self-talk is back to self-soothing of that type is not the solution, says Dr. Carla.
• 45:34 – Owen says that he is probably mild manic depressive but controllable.
• 47:25 – Dr. Carla has so much respect for what Owen has shared. It is so much information and the heart he has imparted.
• 49:44 – Dr. Carla asks Owen to share a bit about filmmaking and how that gives him joy.
• 53:32 – Owen mentions that this comedy and his other films too, could be watched by families. There's nothing in there that somebody might be restricted.
• 55:58 – Owen shares, that they were all making a connection at that point, and he and Dr. Carla had never met but they connected to those comments.
• 57:24 – Being with that person in their pain at that moment and being present is the best thing that anybody can ever do, says Owen.
• 59:46 - It's the friends, it's the family, and it's the connection that is the most important.
• 62:30 – Owen says, during depression one’s face and whole being is so heavy. He described it to somebody one time as mercury in one’s veins.
• 66:04 -Dr. Carla states, that depression is a much-shortened space of what one lives with.
• 68:06 - Life is better each year because he understands it more, states Owen.
• 70:36 – Thankfully in this country, we are advanced enough in the medical field and in the mental health field enough to know that help is available, says Owen.
• 72:09 – Dr. Carla asks Dara to share two or three titbits that he'd like to give to our listeners today.
• 74:50 - We all have those commitments that we need to do, and we may not have that choice right now, says Owen.
• 76:43 – Owen has learned that setting those goals however small, is important to our sense of well-being and our sense of fulfillment and happiness.
• 78:20 – Owen mentions that he very quickly found that there is no joy in sharing the same material night after night.
• 80:06 – That moment made Owen understand why rich people say, wealth doesn't bring you happiness.
• 82:42 - When Owen was going through depression and he couldn't work, then one of his friends said he doesn’t have to achieve anything. He needs to congratulate himself for getting out of bed in the morning.
• 84:21 - Anything that gives us purpose is an achievement, states Owen.
• 86:58 - We're all playing our parts, to the degree at which we’re being guided by our desires, says Owen.
• 89:40 - All of us are in a situation that's not as good as what somebody else has, but better than what somebody else has, states Owen.
• 90:19 – Owen states that as long as it's bringing us fulfillment and we're moving forward that's what's important.
• 92:36 –  Owen wrote his childhood, wild horses in Irish childhood and his journey growing up in Ireland, depression, and those challenges.

 

Three Key Points

1. Owen says - the stigma that is in our society, and also the stigma that we carry ourselves as people who suffer from depression. The only way we're going to mitigate that is just to share and to say, look, we're people too.
2. Dr. Carla highlights about Owen that it has gotten better year-by-year, not because he has ignored it, not because he has solved it over with substances, but because he faced it, he has paid attention to it and he learned through hard work, how to manage it.
3. Dr. Carla shares - if one is suffering from depression, anxiety, mental health issues or not, they need to get in their way. They’re doing small things which can feel like a very big thing like getting out of bed, that’s good, that is right for them, that is a success for them. When we all contribute in our ways to the best that we can to that moment or that day, then we are going to do good things and wonderful things. We don't need to do great things, we can do small things with great love and when we do small things with great love, that is incredible, that is everything. Doing small things every day to the best of our ability that is living with love. 

 

Tweetable Quotes

• “If I were to follow a different path, it would be intended with the path that I've chosen.” - Owen Dara
• “When it hit me as a teen. I thought that I would never ever get through it.” - Owen Dara
• “He said, if he gets help now if he gets psychiatric help, it will be on his permanent record.” - Owen Dara
• “Growing up in the Catholic Church, we are taught that suicide is the worst sin of all.” - Owen Dara
• “If you murder somebody, you can repent and find everything. If you take your own life, there's no repentance.” - Owen Dara
• “I went through another depression when I was working in London.” - Owen Dara
•  “By the end of the show, not always but a lot of the times I would feel like Oh, my God, I'm cured.”  - Owen Dara
• “One in four people suffer from a form of depression.” - Owen Dara
• “I certainly would not be as creative as I am without depression.” - Owen Dara
• “Depression is walking around with a 100-pound weight on your shoulders and not knowing why it's there and not being able to get it off.” – Dr. Carla Manly
• “I get a thrill from writing something that makes me laugh.” - Owen Dara
• “A great thing about being a writer is, you can guide the conversation.” - Owen Dara
• “It is a connection with other people that can help us through that.” - Owen Dara
• “The actual connection that I get with the people that I'm working on the set is, payment enough for the work.” - Owen Dara
• “Comedy has so many healing powers of its own.” - Dr. Carla Manly
• “The bouts of depression get shorter and less frequent as I get older. And I've learned to deal with it.” - Owen Dara
• “Anybody who's going through depression or any kind of challenge like that. Know that it's not forever.” - Owen Dara
• “There's always better choices than the worst choices.” - Owen Dara

 

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter   Instagram
• Owen Dara: Website
• Podcast Editing