Finding Joy in Aging with Dr. Carla Marie Manly

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robbins talks with Guest Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California. Dr. Carla discusses her book ‘Aging Joyfully’. This book provides an important and meaningful window into womanhood for those approaching 50 and beyond. She also talks about the issues in the book that are not gender-specific.

Episode Highlights

• 01:00 – Christopher mentions that Dr. Carla focuses on helping others achieve joy and balance from the inside out. She is the author of multiple books.
• 02:05 – ‘Aging Joyfully’ - is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from.
• 04:00 – Christopher asks, what are the unexpected delights of aging that Dr. Carla is referring to?
• 06:40 – The Gen ‘Z’ & millennials seem to be far more willing to embrace self-discovery, mindfulness, intentional learning, and growing, which Dr. Carla is thrilled about.
• 10:34 – Dr. Carla believes that our chronological age is just a number.
• 12:30 – Christopher enquires how can we without remorse look back on our own mistakes and experiences while still looking forward to this unknown future? 
• 13:50 - It's about learning from that experience, vowing not to do it again to yourself and to somebody who may have hurt making amends and moving forward, states Dr. Carla.
• 15:16 – If you're not able to forgive, it's about doing that work to see where is that lack of forgiveness coming from.
• 17;40 – Dr. Carla says if you are the person who was fortunate enough to have healthy behavior modeled for you, then those life lessons can be pulled upon and used for the rest of your life.
• 18:22 – “Why did you choose to work joyfully and what does that mean for you?” asks Christopher.
• 22:02 - If we learn how to attend to our joy which is one of the gifts that can come with the least amount of time we have as we get older.
• 24:28 – Christopher enquires from Dr. Carla that when she talks about wisdom and grace, what does that mean in terms of aging?
• 26:12 - We must cultivate our wisdom to see the impact we have on ourselves.
• 28:22 – Christopher asks about the women in our lives and what advice would Dr. Carla have for them as they interact with men.
• 30:40 – If somebody that we love is not taking care of themselves and we’re afraid of their health because they're over drinking, overeating, using substances, or that sort of thing then instead of criticizing your partner, partner up with them.
• 32:55 – Dr. Carla mentions, the author of the book ‘Fatherhood’ said, every man should want therapy in his marriage. Therapy is a must in every relationship in every marriage.
• 34:25 – As a Therapist, Dr. Carla personally takes it as a great privilege when people bring their issues to her and want to work on them.
• 35:01 - If you go and spend your money on a new car, or a new computer, that's only going to give you temporary pleasure why not spend some money on some good therapy and increase your joy.

Three Key Points

1. ‘Aging Joyfully’ is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from and truly women because we start having aging concerns, unfortunately, as early as our, women of every age can learn a lot from the book. She believes that people of every gender because our issues are so much the same. 
2. According to Carla - it’s nice to have enough money to have a roof over our heads and to feel safe and have clothes that are comfy and all of that but most of the time we get distracted by it and we get distracted by society and we forget to attend to our joy.
3. We have lost our wisdom. We are so in the pursuit of intelligence and facts and capturing more that we are on the verge of losing our sacred planet. Many intelligent people have the very little capability within their relationships with their relationship to their divine and to caring for the planet that gives us life, that’s not wisdom.

 

Tweetable Quotes

• “I believe that almost every issue in the book, including things like incontinence, and sexuality, are something that is not gender-specific. - Dr. Carla Marie Manly 
• “No matter what age we are in life, we face physiological and mental issues that aren't gender-specific.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly 
• "I work with people of all ages and it's one of my great joys and a privilege that people let me into the most intimate places of their lives, places they don't share with their best friends or their partners or anyone else.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “We realize, oh my goodness, I'm just beginning to get to know who I am.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “Do learn more about who you are and who you want to be.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “Chronological age, I think is simply a number, just like a scale weight is a number, and it’s meaningless.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “If I'm carrying resentment, it's harmful to me, it's harmful to you, the person I'm in a relationship with, and if I'm presenting myself am stuck in what I did wrong in the past. It’s only causing me anxiety, stress, and depression.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “It seems like so much of what we learn as children is applicable for the rest of our lives.” – Christopher Robbins
• “The parents saying don't steal and the parents stealing or the parents saying don't use drugs, but the parents’ using drugs. So, all of that conflict.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “If we cannot see the abundance around us the abundance of nature, the abundance of sky and water and all those things, then it becomes a circle of anxiety and depression.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “Wisdom is about knowing what is best, right? So, I can have the intelligence to create the world's most wonderful vehicle. But it takes true wisdom to be able to say, how will this help the planet?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “If I have a message for men about ‘Aging Joyfully’, I didn't care if you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 or beyond. Therapy is not a curse, it is a blessing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “It's not that it's a curse to be in therapy, it's a blessing. It takes great courage to go into therapy, and a great deal of work and perseverance.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter   Instagram
• Podcast Editing