Learning and Loving Through Questions with Tamara Girardi

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Tamara Girardi, a full-time English Professor for Community College, and an author who writes picture books and young adult fiction. On today’s podcast, Tamara is talking about her book ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’

Episode Highlights

• 01:50 – Dr. Carla asks what led Tamara to write the book ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’
• 04:15 – Tamara thinks that socialization comes from peers, from parents, and maybe from teachers, and overtime questions are not as celebrated as they once were.
• 06:20 - It's interesting to see how Gabriela (Tamara’s third child) has transitioned to taking the information that she's hearing and summarizing it into a cohesive answer, says Tamara.
• 08:32 – Tamara mentions that this story is a one-on-one story between the cub and the daddy.
• 10:13 - When Tamara had another child since then she thinks love grows and multiplies. There's no limit to love, but there is a limit to being patient.
• 12:00 - When you're reading with your child, it's not that you're reading but other unhealthy habits can be addressed as well through that one experience.
• 14:00 – Tamara hopes that people that get the book will read it many times as their children grow and with multiple children at different ages.
• 16:15 - Each one of Tamara’s children had different board books that were sort of the signature book when they were at that age, and reading them now is very nostalgic.
• 18:00 - Writing picture books were special, Tamara started writing picture books at a difficult time not only in her writing career but in her life as well.
• 20:00 - As a parent, we think a lot about our children, and we talk about them especially when they have difficulty with other friends, or if they're feeling that someone wasn't kind to them.

Three Key Points

1. Tamara says that ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’ story was inspired by her third child Gabriela when she was about three years old. As a Professor Tamara noticed that her college students were often hesitant to ask questions, however, it was fascinating to see how her three-year-old asked her 100 questions a day and was very unapologetic about it. This started to make her wonder about that progression. Also, she realized that questions are one of the most wonderful ways of learning about life.
2. The story in the book is about the closeness and connection that can come from questioning and having somebody respond to you in a healthy and loving way. The most beautiful part about this book is that it is setting the stage for children to learn that this is how you can ask a question, and get a response in a healthy way. The story is also teaching parents that this is the kind of dynamic that is helpful and healthy for children because it is such a busy world and we sometimes forget the importance of slowing down to be patient with children in our lives.
3. Kids start to learn a little bit multi-dimensionally and let's say one of the questions in the book is – “Why do you wear a watch?” Then the dad answers – “So I know when it's time to give you a bubble bath.” But obviously, there are many reasons that dad wears a watch, it's not that one reason. So it's special for kids to start thinking multi-dimensionally in that way that it's not everything, it’s just like the singular connections. But there are these different elements just like the 10 habits.

Tweetable Quotes

• “My house is a little bit beautiful and chaotic at the same time which a lot of families out there can relate to.”– Tamara Girardi
• “I think just asking the question was something I started thinking about.” - Tamara Girardi
• “So, there is an art to asking a question.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “The book is a board book, and the main characters are a Daddy Bear and his little cub.” - Tamara Girardi
• “That's what I work on every day, its being as present and as patient as possible.” - Tamara Girardi 
• “You're helping the child feel loved and seen and doing it also in a playful way.” - Tamara Girardi 
• “Books present the opportunity for conversation and interaction that allows us to see from other people's perspectives.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
• “There are questions in the book that came from three-year-old Gabriela” - Tamara Girardi
• “Sometimes we can't do a whole lot, but when we are powered by love and the loving, supportive people around us, we can do magnificent things.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly

 

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter   Instagram
• Tamara Girardi Website Instagram Twitter Facebook
• Podcast Editing