Setting New Year’s Goals: A Guide for Overworked Moms with Denise Marek

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Denise Marek about managing goals and expectations for the New Year, especially tailored for the ever-busy, overworked mothers. 

 

Denise is internationally recognized worry management expert. Creator of the "Calm Methodology," Denise imparts strategies globally to combat stress and worry. She's penned the book "Calm for Moms Worry Less in Four Simple Steps" and runs an online program titled "Calm Online". Residing in Ontario, Canada, Denise is a mother to two and a grandmother to four.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 02:12 Denise emphasizes the importance of reflecting on the past year, listing down successes, challenges, and stressors. Advocates for jotting down everything without filtering.
• 03:02 Denise describes the first step in goal setting as identifying the problem one wishes to address or solve in the upcoming year. She introduces the concept of "mining the gold" which means digging deep to find one's true goals amidst doubts and frustrations.
• 03:37 Denise discusses two types of goals: those that free us from problems or challenges, and those that pull us towards something desirable.
• 04:20 Denise distinguishes between goals that move one away from problems versus goals that move one towards specific aspirations. She points out the weight loss industry as a prevalent example and how many set weight loss goals during New Year's.
• 05:22 Christopher introduces the topic of setting realistic and achievable goals and emphasises the challenges faced when enthusiasm meets setbacks, leading many to abandon their goals. He seeks guidance on setting goals that are both realistic and achievable.
• 07:05 Denise addresses the misconception of being "too late" to pursue certain goals, sharing her own experience of going back to college. She references a book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker, drawing an analogy between circus elephants' training and human self-limiting beliefs.
• 08:23 Denise emphasizes the importance of challenging the self-fulfilling prophecy of "I can't" and encourages revisiting past unachieved goals and trying again.
• 09:50 Denise shares four questions to navigate around self-imposed roadblocks, aimed at transforming a negative mindset to a solution-driven one.
• 10:41 Christopher brings up two memorable quotes that have influenced his perspective on determination and taking action and underscores the importance of determination in achieving our goals. He enquiries about methods to reduce stress, especially considering the challenges of the upcoming year.
• 12:08 Denise mentions the correlation between physical disorganization and mental disorganization. She suggests a principle: "I'm only going to keep what I need, use, or love." She discusses the common worries that hinder decluttering. People often hesitate because of the "I might need it someday" thought.
• 13:45 Instead of pondering on "what if I need it someday," Denise recommends asking "when is the last time I actually used it?" Experts believe if you haven't used an item in 12-18 months, it's likely not essential.
• 15:17 Christopher discusses the importance of accountability in reaching goals and asks for guidance on how to maintain self-accountability and reach one's objectives.
• 17:09 Denise stresses the importance of careful selection when choosing accountability partners and for those without immediate support systems, Denise suggests looking into apps, Facebook groups, and other communities of like-minded individuals to find support and encouragement.
• 18:51 Christopher reflects on the significance of acknowledging small achievements and milestones during the journey towards reaching a larger goal. Encourages focusing on small wins for motivation.
• 19:46 Denise emphasizes the significance of celebrating small victories. Encourages self-recognition and taking before-and-after photos to visualize progress. She advises on creating a structured plan for organization.
• 20:05 Denise suggests aligning celebrations with self-care and proposes the idea of getting a massage as a reward instead of indulging in alcohol, explaining that even small amounts of alcohol can affect sleep and overall well-being the following day.

 

Key Points:

1. Denise advises on the significance of reflecting on past successes, challenges, and stressors. Writing everything down candidly is beneficial.
2. Denise introduces two categories of goals: those that help individuals escape challenges and those that draw them towards something desirable.
3. Christopher and Denise discuss the crucial role of accountability in achieving goals and the significance of acknowledging and celebrating small achievements.

 

Tweetable Quotes

• "Reflecting on the past year is crucial; jot down every success, challenge, and stressor without filtering." - Denise Marek
• "In goal setting, 'mine the gold': dig deep to find true goals amidst doubts and frustrations." - Denise Marek
• "Don't be hindered by the 'I might need it someday' mindset. If you haven't used it in 12-18 months, it's likely not essential." - Denise Marek

 

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://www.denisemarek.com/
• Podcast Editing