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With help from guest authors, experts, and community and business leaders, the Familius Helping Families Be Happy podcast explores topics and issues that connect families to the nine habits of a happy family: love, play, learn, work, talk, heal, read, eat, and laugh together.
Episodes
Wednesday Jun 08, 2022
Wednesday Jun 08, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with guest Pam Lobley who is talking with us about her book – ‘Why Can't We Just Play’.
Episode Highlights
- 01:15 – Pam is a writer, she started her career in sketch comedy, so everything she does or writes, she approaches it from a comedic standpoint.
- 03:35 – When Pam’s son was in fifth grade he said that he never had time to just play. Play for him was like having a friend over, goofing around in the backyard, making their own games, and going to a playground without any parents’ rules.
- 05:45 - Pam feels so lucky that she took the chance and slowed down, for me as a parent, it was the risk because I was doing something I wasn't sure was right.
- 07:20 - It's hard to be a parent and that was hard. Kids fought a lot like siblings and especially when they only had each other to play with, or it rained a lot.
- 09:15 – Dr. Carla asks if it is possible that this would only work for a stay-at-home mom?
- 11:05 - We're always comparing ourselves to other parents and we're always comparing our kids to other kids, which is so ridiculous, but it's very hard not to do.
- 13:00 – Dr. Carla enquires from Pam that for somebody who wants to be able to let their child play, other than the low expectations what are some key steps they can follow?
- 14:50 - There are times to step in when somebody's bullying, being super toxic, or anything like that. But other than that, that’s where we learn to negotiate.
- 17:20 – Pam says that the young kids instead of being on phone all the time, enjoy being loud and messy in the backyard or climbing all over the playground, or just pretending whatever they want with their friends.
- 19:10 - We often forget as parents, that kids as much as they might push back against structure and routine. As far as family rules go we need them for the kid’s sanity and for the parent’s mental health.
- 20:50 - Some people say minors need to play or my kids should be in academics. They're on the fast track to an Ivy League school who cares about play?
- 22:30 – We can learn great life lessons from watching our children play, and then sleep as they have no sleep issues.
- 24:00 – Pam suggests to the parents that they need to consider their children as they are. Parents shouldn’t be comparing their kids with others.
- 26:15 - Research shows us that happiness peaks when you get to that point of success when you have enough to pay your bills, or enough to have health insurance. After that, it can start dipping because external success is not as important as the beauty of internal success and the joys of big things like play.
- 28:20 - Pam thinks giving your child as much time to play will position them to be healthier and maybe better learners when they hit high school age.
- 30:30 – Young people today don't want to try in case they fail because they feel too much pressure to succeed all the time.
Three Key Points
- Pam says you can build in this type of autonomous, independent, and free play for your kids. For instance, let's say you do need to have a daycare or a camp for your child. Look for the one with the least amount of structure, the most amount of fun, and low expectations. The whole idea is that we're supposed to be improving our children all the time is so exhausting. So it's okay to just be Spider-Man all summer long. That's a perfectly acceptable thing for an eight-year-old.
- One of the steps parents can follow is to kids have an afternoon or several hours every week that is their own. The other step would be that when your child is playing with other children, resist the urge to step in and make it right because then the kids don't learn how to do it themselves, just pretend not to notice.
- A few experts see that play for children is the best education they can have. They've done so many tests about how free play, autonomous, and self-directed play increase their creativity, resilience, and ability to think things through self-awareness. It's different when kids are teenagers because that's different but for kids under 13, play is the best.
Tweetable Quotes
- “I got the idea for this book because I felt like there wasn't a way in our kids’ lives.” - Pam Lobley
- “That happened in the spring and I decided that we would have no summer activity.” - Pam Lobley
- “Over the summer before I realized I did the right thing.”
- “They did drive me crazy, I'm not going to lie.” - Pam Lobley
- “The book I tried to be is funny, so there are a lot of funny stories in the book.” - Pam Lobley
- “I have to say it is the first time in my life I have ever heard parents say set low expectations.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Social media makes it so much easier to get immersed in that world of what I call toxic comparison, yet that is the antithesis of healthy parenting.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “What about the kid who says I want to be on my phone all day?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “If you want a hockey-achieving kid, it's probably the best thing that you could do for them at that age.” - Pam Lobley
- “I think it's really important to see to see your child for who they really are.” - Pam Lobley
- “The big learning lesson is to let the children play, let them learn and grow. Figure out their path as they're growing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Failure is a fairly recent interpretation of the word and that it used to mean to simply arrive at a different destination.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The book ‘Why Can't We Just Play’ is available wherever books are sold, it's in Audio Book and on the eBook format.” - Pam Lobley
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Pam Lobley: Website LinkedIn Instagram Facebook
- Podcast Editing
Tuesday Jun 07, 2022
Tuesday Jun 07, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robins, co-founder of Familius publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California talks with guest Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County.
They discuss a challenging subject for all parents, i.e. how to deal with the anger, fear, sadness, and other associated issues involving Texas School Shooting, and other tragedies that families are witnessing and experiencing.
Episode Highlights
- 01:44 – Christopher enquires from Dr. Carla that there are parents who are dealing with anger, fear, and sadness in the wake of the many recent shootings.
- 03:37 - Dr. Carla says, parents, work on their feelings so they’re not overwhelming their children with unprocessed emotions.
- 06:05 – Dr. Carla states, don't pressure the child, create the opportunity to talk.
- 08:07 - If you have a child who wants a lot of space, pay attention that the child is safe in their safe space, mentions Dr. Carla
- 10:15 - The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance.
- 12:45 - It's okay as a parent, and caregiver that let me check in with a therapist on that or let me go Google it, says Dr. Carla
- 14:02 – Christopher asks Dr. Carla, how can she help us as parents, as to, what we need to do?
- 16:50 - We need to use our resources, internal and external, to work on being able to care for ourselves so that we can be the rock for our little ones or big ones.
- 19:51 – Dr. Carla points out that we should allow ourselves and our children to express themselves in creative ways.
- 20:56 – Dr. Carla tells that when we see the dramatic type of news footage, then as adults we think about what's happening with the children.
- 22:52 – Christopher enquires, what do we say when our children say why did this happen or why did that man do that?
- 26:40 – Dr. Carla explains how can we make our children safe.
- 30:32 – Christopher enquires if there are some resource books that Dr. Carla would recommend which might help parents deal with such situations.
- 32:22 – Dr. Carla says, there are definitely good books that talk about self-care on the Familius website.
Three Key Points
- There are other resources for children, you don't have to be the only resource. You can pick up a book on trauma, a children's book, and read it to the child so that you don't have to know it all. Then maybe as you read, you're able to process some of what's going on for you.
- Christopher mentions how we can make our children safe. We can really watch our communities, we can be a part of the schools and keep an eye on what's happening in the schools, volunteer in the schools, do mental health awareness campaigns in our school, get it on our radar, and depending on our child's level, on their radar. So, they feel safe and come to us.
- It's important for parents to know that whatever they're feeling, the stress and strain and being pulled in two or three directions, what should they do, that's normal. Talk to someone about it, process it and then make the very best decision you can for your situation and move forward.
Tweetable Quotes
- “Process your experience, so that anything you're not processing does not leak out onto your child.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Be available to talk, don't force a talk, but welcome and chat with your child.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Telling a child don't feel your feelings makes them feel criticized, makes them want to close down rather than allowing them to feel their feelings.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Sitting down and making eye contact is one of the best gifts you can give your child.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The first step in being a parent and caregiver, you matter.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Your kids and you, need as much routine as consistency as possible.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Q&A session is one of the ways we build awareness and connection.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “You can learn to be confident enough to say I don't know and that's okay.” – Christopher Robbins
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Jun 01, 2022
Wednesday Jun 01, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with guest Jessica Lancaster who shares about her work as an Actor, Social Media Guru, Producer, and Waitress.
Episode Highlights
- 01:38 – Jessica says, she waited tables now for 20 years and she doesn't actually need to do it financially anymore.
- 03:51 – It's important for people with phones to keep them away while they eat.
- 05:30 – Jessica wishes she could have had more family meals; so many wonderful things can happen around the dinner table.
- 07:10 – Dr. Carla asks Jessica about her life as an Instagram Goddess.
- 09:05 - Instagram is a great way to unite mothers. Those are the groups and communities of support and connection that can be found only through Instagram.
- 11:35 – If the post doesn't make sense of what they're doing or what they're trying to say, Jessica guides them to a better target market of quote selling.
- 13:30 – Jessica mentions that everybody is doing cool stuff like the artsy design but now what's working is just authentic feeling in the moment.
- 15:38 - It's important to shop local and support these women and these moms specifically as the money's going right into their children.
- 17:40 - The movie making and producing came out of necessity to play good roles, mentions Jessica.
- 19:43 – Jessica says, she grew up in an interesting family where her mom was married four times, and her dad was married three times.
- 21:00 – Jessica talks about what the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) means.
- 24:40 – Good acting is that they want something different than you want, and that's what makes the scene explode, says Jessica.
- 25:15 – Dr. Carla states, that as a parent, and partner you are seeing the other and you're responding to them whereas, in acting, you are reacting to create contrast.
- 27:50 - The scene has the contrast, but in life, one should get what they want.
- 29:38 – Jessica says, when there is a contrast, it's an easy solution.
- 31:25 - One piece of advice that sticks with Jessica is don't give up on having to be right.
- 33:18 – Jessica shares, that something shifted in her and she learned that it didn't feel good to be in an argument, and she’s not going to do that anymore.
- 34:50 – If you're looking for a good movie, Jessica has got movies like ‘The Holy Fail’, and ‘Choosing Signs’ on Amazon.
- 36:10 – Dr. Carla says, we need more films about love, comedy, and lightheartedness.
Three Key Points
- Dr. Carla Highlights - one of the things she loves about Familius Publishing is that they have a grassroots way of working where they honor moms, and families and are heavily focused on that. She’s a believer that the more we support our kids, the more we support our family, the family’s authenticity, genuineness, caring for the planet, and the happier we all are going to be in the long run.
- Children don't know enough to make life easy so the parents have to come in. Unfortunately for many people, they don't know how they weren't given lessons, they didn't have role models on how to be in a relationship. So, the work that is involved for people is getting to a place within themselves and their relationships.
- Dr. Carla mentions - it is about showing the world what it looks like to radiate love. Not radiate I am right, or I am better. You are bad, but to radiate love, because that's what Jessica does it's one of the things she specializes in naturally as she radiates love.
Tweetable Quotes
- “I tell people at my tables I'm like, if possible, please don't have your cell phones out.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “If you're talking and communicating, you're not just eating the food. You're enjoying the food.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “You'll go to someone's page and they have like 100,000 followers and 17 likes, that feels inauthentic to me.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “The more authentic you are, the more successful your page will be.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “There is less than 1% of SAG actors are making a living acting.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “The SAG makes sure that I get the residuals from that TV show I did or same with CSI or whatever.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “It sounds as if being a producer might not be or as an actor might not be as glamorous as people think there's a lot going on behind the scenes.” – Dr. Carla Carie Manly
- “TV and film would be very boring if everybody got a long period.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “People want to be seen and validated. So, the lesson of the day is to avoid the contrast in your relationships.” - Dr. Carla Carie Manly
- “I teach reflective listening, mirroring all of those things and being able to not engage in dichotomous thinking, where I'm right, you're wrong. - Dr. Carla Carie Manly
- “Just be good to one another.” - Jessica Lancaster
- “I think to me, that's the best kind of film is where the actors radiate love.” - Dr. Carla Carie Manly
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Jessica Lancaster: Instagram
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday May 25, 2022
Wednesday May 25, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Mary Potter Kenyon (A Certified Grief Educator, Public Speaker, and an Author) who talks about her book ‘Called to be Creative - A Guide to Reigniting Your Creativity’. Mary shares how creativity helps you and your families to be happy.
Episode Highlights
- 02:50 – Dr. Carla asks Mary about her former work, and what she has been doing before she moved to this segment of writing a book – ‘Called to be Creative’.
- 05:00 – Mary talks about her book ‘Mary and Me’ which was about a friendship fuelled by 30 years of handwritten letters.
- 06:40 – Mary says even though she grew up in poverty, her mom was the person that she saw was making their poverty-stricken house a home.
- 09:00 – Mary also interviewed various people that she saw as creative, like a yoga teacher, a painter, etc.
- 12:00 - One of the studies that fascinated Mary was how adulthood takes a creative genius right out of us.
- 13:05 - What would you say is the reason there's that incredible drop-off in creativity? Asks Dr. Carla.
- 15:11 – Dr. Carla asks about a few pointers on how readers can bring creativity into their lives, the lives of their children, and the lives of their partners.
- 16:57 – Mary recommends to start making a list of those things that you love doing, and then making a list of things that you would do if time or money was no hindrance to you.
- 20:00 - One of the things Mary did to reflect the value of learning together was to start a creativity group at her local library, get together, and just try something different every month. She says her book is built to do that.
- 22:00 - Science shows that if you are being creative and using your natural creativity, you are going to the doctor less, there's less anxiety and there is less stress.
- 25:35 - When we find that passion, and you can hear it in other people's voices pointed out that they would love to see you doing this more because you just come alive when you're doing that.
- 27:-35 - Give yourself once a month date to check off the list of those things because if your grand pull yourself into too many directions and think well I started trade is a fair trade, you can feel overwhelmed.
Three Key Points
- Mary thinks we all have it in us to be creative. What happens to that very creative little child, that we become an adult who can't fit creativity into their lives? So there's a little bit of science in the book - ‘Called to be Creative’ as Mary delved into the research and discovered that science is behind it, that we are designed to be creative.
- Creativity can be what you are born with the gift, you might not think of as creativity it could be that you have a natural knack for relating to children or you have this empathy that you are a good listener that can be you can use that creatively in your job and life. A lot of people rediscovered their natural creativity during the beginning of the pandemic, doing something that they hadn't done for years like playing games with their children or getting outside and coloring with chalk on the sidewalks.
- The main point of Mary’s book is to play. Put some play into your life as an adult. Allow yourself the time for creativity. Don't look at it as something that you have to save for leisure time, or you're going to be waiting a long time because there's not a lot of leisure time built into our busy lives. We have to have that in our lives as adults.
Tweetable Quotes
- “It would be a very sad state of affairs if grief was the only source of your creativity.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “So, that very first inkling that I might be writing about creativity was planted in 2011.” - Mary Potter Kenyon
- “I caught on to creativity in the form of writing all those years.” - Mary Potter Kenyon
- “There's a little bit of science in –‘Called to be Creative.” - Mary Potter Kenyon
- “So, with that background, tell me a little bit about some of the science.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The world is telling us that creativity doesn't make you money.” - Mary Potter Kenyon
- “First of all, we have to stop thinking of creativity as something that is chosen for you.” - Mary Potter Kenyon
- “Another thing that we have to do is look for childhood.” - Mary Potter Kenyon
- “Sometimes we need that energy of a tribe that kind of gets the creativity going energized.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Passion can ignite so many beautiful parts of the self.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “I would say make a list and take you out on a date once a month. Give yourself 12 months to try these different things.” - Mary Potter Kenyon
Resources Mentioned
Wednesday May 18, 2022
Wednesday May 18, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robins, Co-founder of Familius publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California talks with guest Noah BenShea, North America’s most respected and beloved Poet/Philosophers, Pulitzer Prize-nominated, and international Best-Selling author of 28 books translated into 18 languages. They explore the principles of successful living from Noah’s most recent book – The Surfer and the Sage: A Guide to Survive and Ride Life's Waves co-authored with world champion surfer - Shaun Tomson.
Episode Highlights
- 01:37 – Christopher says, it's interesting to think that a real champion Surfer Co-authored a book with a world-famous Poet.
- 03:50 – Poetry in many regards is the business of putting a frame around a moment around a witness that you give to a moment that might otherwise pass unnoticed, unknown, says Noah
- 05:38 – Noah shares, what he learned about life through his experience with Shaun, and the parallels that exist with the ocean and with waves in the surfing.
- 08:10 – Shaun spends more time in the water than he spends typing, and Noah spends more time typing than being on a surfboard, says Noah.
- 12:02 – Christopher reads a section of the book – “When there are storms overhead, drop down into your mind ocean and ride the waves under your waves, the calm in your storm is the calm within you, your calm is calmly waiting, your calm is not at a distance from you unless you are at a distance from you.”
- 14:45 – Noah says, finding that calm inside of you is first recognizing that if you're in a state of turmoil. The turmoil is yours, and the disquiet is yours.
- 16:20 - Your working life is who you are and how you conduct yourself with you, says Noah.
- 18:42 – Noah mentions, that life is a gift, and prayer is a thank-you note. Write thank-you notes, and send those thank-you notes out.
- 20:02 – Noah states, that the only company that we can be assured of on that journey is ourselves.
- 22:35 – Before Noah gets to his prayers during his meditation is that he imagines that he is a prequel to himself.
- 24:55 – Noah’s feeling is that each of us is a time machine, and in our memory, we can go backward in time. In our imagination, we can go forward in time, but the only place you can steer your time machine is in the now.
- 26:55 - In working with Shaun there were times in a story that he would tell about loss, but he wanted to be wise enough to be silent, states Noah
Three Key Points
- One of the real strengths of this book is that at the very cost of anything else both Shaun and Noah wanted to bring honesty and candor. Just two straight-ahead guys who are a little further down the trail than a lot of other people in life perhaps, and bring that to it. So, to Shaun the ocean of the idea of a wave rising or waves falling, catching a wave or missing your wave, or the idea that you’re not a drop in the sea, you are all the drops in the sea in a philosophic sense was very easy and a comfortable fit for him. While they both spoke about doing this book, Shaun was the one who decided that he (Guest) would be the sage in this book.
- You're not in charge, what you are in charge of is you. What the world delivers to your doorstep each morning isn't your responsibility, your responsibility is your reaction to it, and it's calming to the soul. When you realize that your sole responsibility is who you are and how you conduct yourself. That's the only thing you're in charge of for the moment and in the moment. Your working life is not what you do, but who you are and that's in the book. So, our work in life is oftentimes making us self-important.
- In the same way, as we leave the woods behind, we leave the boat behind, and we leave the river behind. We wander through where we are in that moment, and the only company that you can be assured of on that journey is yourself. So, it would be wise to be good company to that company on that journey. Our ability to be good company with others is premised on our ability to be good company with ourselves.
Tweetable Quotes
- “A poet's work is not always writing poetry but discovering poetry and putting the appropriate silence on both sides of it.” - Noah BenShea
- “Feelings are like tides, they come and go, and not to get too attached to your feelings or don't confuse how you feel with who you are.” - Noah BenShea
- “All courage happens on a private scale on a private stage.” - Noah BenShea
- “You can't like others if you don't like yourself, you can't love others if you don't love yourself.” - Noah BenShea
- “People don't do things to you; they do things for them.” - Noah BenShea
- “Self-pity is the worst way to discover self.” - Noah BenShea
- “The two great days in a person's life are - the day they are born and the day they know why they're born.” - Noah BenShea
Resources Mentioned
- The Surfer and the Sage Book
- Noah BSenShea: Website
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday May 11, 2022
Wednesday May 11, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Tamara Girardi, a full-time English Professor for Community College, and an author who writes picture books and young adult fiction. On today’s podcast, Tamara is talking about her book ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’
Episode Highlights
- 01:50 – Dr. Carla asks what led Tamara to write the book ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’
- 04:15 – Tamara thinks that socialization comes from peers, from parents, and maybe from teachers, and overtime questions are not as celebrated as they once were.
- 06:20 - It's interesting to see how Gabriela (Tamara’s third child) has transitioned to taking the information that she's hearing and summarizing it into a cohesive answer, says Tamara.
- 08:32 – Tamara mentions that this story is a one-on-one story between the cub and the daddy.
- 10:13 - When Tamara had another child since then she thinks love grows and multiplies. There's no limit to love, but there is a limit to being patient.
- 12:00 - When you're reading with your child, it's not that you're reading but other unhealthy habits can be addressed as well through that one experience.
- 14:00 – Tamara hopes that people that get the book will read it many times as their children grow and with multiple children at different ages.
- 16:15 - Each one of Tamara’s children had different board books that were sort of the signature book when they were at that age, and reading them now is very nostalgic.
- 18:00 - Writing picture books were special, Tamara started writing picture books at a difficult time not only in her writing career but in her life as well.
- 20:00 - As a parent, we think a lot about our children, and we talk about them especially when they have difficulty with other friends, or if they're feeling that someone wasn't kind to them.
Three Key Points
- Tamara says that ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’ story was inspired by her third child Gabriela when she was about three years old. As a Professor Tamara noticed that her college students were often hesitant to ask questions, however, it was fascinating to see how her three-year-old asked her 100 questions a day and was very unapologetic about it. This started to make her wonder about that progression. Also, she realized that questions are one of the most wonderful ways of learning about life.
- The story in the book is about the closeness and connection that can come from questioning and having somebody respond to you in a healthy and loving way. The most beautiful part about this book is that it is setting the stage for children to learn that this is how you can ask a question, and get a response in a healthy way. The story is also teaching parents that this is the kind of dynamic that is helpful and healthy for children because it is such a busy world and we sometimes forget the importance of slowing down to be patient with children in our lives.
- Kids start to learn a little bit multi-dimensionally and let's say one of the questions in the book is – “Why do you wear a watch?” Then the dad answers – “So I know when it's time to give you a bubble bath.” But obviously, there are many reasons that dad wears a watch, it's not that one reason. So it's special for kids to start thinking multi-dimensionally in that way that it's not everything, it’s just like the singular connections. But there are these different elements just like the 10 habits.
Tweetable Quotes
- “My house is a little bit beautiful and chaotic at the same time which a lot of families out there can relate to.”– Tamara Girardi
- “I think just asking the question was something I started thinking about.” - Tamara Girardi
- “So, there is an art to asking a question.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The book is a board book, and the main characters are a Daddy Bear and his little cub.” - Tamara Girardi
- “That's what I work on every day, its being as present and as patient as possible.” - Tamara Girardi
- “You're helping the child feel loved and seen and doing it also in a playful way.” - Tamara Girardi
- “Books present the opportunity for conversation and interaction that allows us to see from other people's perspectives.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “There are questions in the book that came from three-year-old Gabriela” - Tamara Girardi
- “Sometimes we can't do a whole lot, but when we are powered by love and the loving, supportive people around us, we can do magnificent things.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Resources Mentioned
Wednesday May 04, 2022
Wednesday May 04, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Emily Lauren Dick who talks about her book Body Positive: A Guide to Loving Your Body. In her book, she is motivating women to love themselves no matter what body they exist. This book tells us about how diverse beauty looks.
Episode Highlights
- 00:55 – It is the most beautiful book, a substantial book, and wonderful for the ears, the eyes, the mind, and the heart, says Dr. Carla.
- 02:06 – Emily thinks she doesn’t know anyone who has not suffered from body image issues. So, that was her inspiration for writing the book.
- 04:55 – Dr. Carla enquires, how do these body images make women and men feel insecure?
- 06:41 - People that are put on this pedestal and in the media, even they don't look like themselves today, there's even mechanics in the video that create people, states Emily.
- 08:05 – Dr. Carla talks about a recent study which says when females were shown photos of larger women, their preference for thin bodies decreased. However, when they were shown images of thin women, they preferred thinness.
- 10:04 - We talk about mental health, illnesses, and disease, but we don't talk about how big an issue this is in society.
- 11:30 – Dr. Carla shares that a very wise person told her recently, that advertising in today's realm is based on getting to people's insecurities. They want us to be insecure because if we feel insecure, we will buy this and that.
- 13:15 – Emily highlights, we are so confused as people and as a society because we've been taught that when our bodies feel bad or our insides feel bad that we're the problem not to look at how the inner body works.
- 14:21 - When you permit yourself you will naturally be drawn to eating a balance of foods because you're listening to your body.
- 17:30 – Emily gets a lot of feedback about this book as so many parents and moms have bought this for themselves as well as for their children so they can show them what diverse beauty looks like.
- 19:19 – Dr. Carla says, the photographs are exquisite in which Emily has shown women in their beautiful, exquisite imperfection, which is how we are as humans.
- 21:23 – The women revealing the imperfection that we are taught to hide and that's just so touching, says Dr. Carla
- 24:06 – Emily states, that she can't wait to see what the world will look like when the focus is not on women's appearance.
Three Key Points
- When Emily went to university and learned about the male gaze and sociology and all these different feminist perspectives sort of the world we live in. She was inspired to make this information accessible to people, especially young girls and women who didn't have the same experience that she did. She had that aha moment in the university and realized why we have body image issues. There are so many things that we can do to challenge the way the world views women's bodies today.
- The more we see people that look like us, the better we will feel about ourselves and our bodies and that’s why so many companies that have adopted this body-positive sort of marketing platform for their advertising and have been so successful because we are dying to see people who look like us in clothing in the media in online so we want it because it makes us feel good.
- This is a healing book for so many. It's a book that brings us together and makes us feel like we're not alone. One of the things that this diet culture does is makes us feel like we're the only ones in the world that feel negatively about our bodies and that we're the only ones who have stretch marks or fat or acne and all these things and when we come together and realize we're all going through this together, that is so healing.
Tweetable Quotes
- “The male gaze is objectification; it is seeing a woman and viewing her as an object and we as women view ourselves through that same lens.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “It is extremely harmful to the way we see ourselves. Women are taught that their priority is to be beautiful.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “When we feel our bodies are wrong, we feel like we're wrong as people.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “You create an ideal person and they don't exist.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “The people who are killing us because they're feeding or creating or recirculating this idea that fineness is the ultimate goal of life.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “Sometimes it's just a matter of listening to our physical bodies.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “Forget the mirror that's in the bathroom, but also the mirror of society and say I want to feel good in my body.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “Sometimes you need to rest your body on the couch and sometimes you need to go out for a walk because that's what feels good.” - Emily Lauren Dick
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Emily Lauren Dick: Website Instagram
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Apr 27, 2022
Wednesday Apr 27, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with guests Sabrina Moyle and Eunice Moyle (Founder Sisters of the company - ‘Hello! Lucky’) about their book ‘I Believe in You’. They also talk about their company ‘Hello! Lucky’.
Episode Highlights
- 01:20 – Sabrina and Eunice are sisters and they grew up in Asia. Their mom was born in China and raised in Taiwan and their dad worked for the US government as a Diplomat.
- 03:00 – Sabrina refers to the book she read by Educator Barbara Coloroso - ‘The Kids Are Worth It’, where she deeply felt resonated with the messages in the book.
- 05:15 – ‘I Believe in You’ is about having Faith and Trust that no matter what, your child is going to be okay.
- 07:20 – These life lessons are a lifelong process and this is something that continues until adulthood.
- 08:30 – Dr. Carla states that the fifth and sixth principles reminded her of attachment and how important it is to have a child have anyone in his life know they are a priority.
- 10:16 – Eunice mentions that one of her parenting mantras is to always tell kids the truth even if they are asking the weirdest question.
- 12:20 - Parenting is indeed one of the hardest jobs ever made so Sabrina and Eunice are helping support joy in a parent's life to be joyful parents without taking away the truth, says Dr. Carla.
- 14:25 - There's such tremendous joy that can come with this process if we allow ourselves to learn from our children as well, says Sabrina.
Three Key Points
- The book – ‘I Believe in You’ is about building the resilience and the self-sufficiency of children. It gives out six important messages in the context of raising your child – No matter what, I have faith in you, I trust you, I know you can handle this, you are listened to, you are cared for and you are very important to me.
- It is so important that if kids ask questions then respond to them with an age-appropriate answer with honesty and truth, this is all we can do as parents. Be direct, be kind, and be honest in the answers you give to kids.
- No doubt parenting is one of the hardest jobs and is incredibly challenging, but it is also an important opportunity for transformation. Use parenting to transform yourself into a better human being so that you can model that for your child. What's beautiful about being a parent is you're having to teach all of the basics of being a good human being from first principles to someone who hasn't learned them before.
Tweetable Quotes
- “Eunice and I started our company ‘Hello! Lucky’, which is a greeting card company, originally and now it is a Design Studio.” - Sabrina Moyle
- “The book ‘I Believe in You’ was inspired by the educator Barbara Coloroso.” - Sabrina Moyle
- “Let’s talk about the six concepts/principles, that are so critical in the context of raising Children.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Children need to know that they are a priority.” - Sabrina Moyle
- “I'm very sort of organic parenting style, Serena does a lot of reading and likes thinking and I kind of, go with the flow.” - Eunice Moyle
- “Parenting can be hard like it's not a joke. It's like one of the hardest jobs I've ever had.” - Eunice Moyle
Resources Mentioned
Wednesday Apr 06, 2022
Wednesday Apr 06, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Libby Kiszner who will be talking about her book ‘Dear Libby’. In her book she makes us discover the author within. Libby guides you to tap into your creativity, hone your strengths and create a book that resonates with readers. Whether you’re a first-time author or a seasoned publisher, acquire the tools you need to.
Episode Highlights
- 01:20 – Libby shares that she lives in Jerusalem, Israel. She grew up in Brooklyn, then lived in Montreal for seven years, and then came to Israel, so she has been traveling, wandering, and exploring the world.
- 03:10 – Dr. Carla asks Libby to tell more about her book - ‘Dear Libby’.
- 05:15 - Different circumstances require different answers the same person asking the same question in a different situation might need to have a different answer, says Libby.
- 07:55 – Dr. Carla states that the best we could do is to try to when we do try answer or something to offer sound and sage advice or insights as possible.
- 09:08 - One of the reasons Libby loves children's books so much is because you can learn so much from them because of the purity.
- 11:15 - As children, we might think we could find a way to make it better for everyone, says Libby.
- 13:10 - Part of our journey is learning how to transform our pain and fears into joy, and doing it mindfully, states Dr. Carla.
- 15:30 – Libby highlights that not everybody knows how to do that, or what would be the perfect way to comfort us in any given moment. But there is someone in us who knows how to comfort you to comfort yourself.
- 17:00 - The last chapter refers to keeping growing because connecting with others helps us grow.
- 19:10 – Libby says, self-expression is a gift that we all have, and she learned to express herself from a very young age.
- 20:30 – Dr. Carla mentions whether it's cooking, gardening, writing, or singing, whatever it is when families make space for that you've made space for your children in that way.
- 23:10 - Libby believes that what makes a happy family whether we have one, nine, or twenty children is the calm, comforting presence of a nurturing parent.
- 25:25 – “I believe that everyone has transformational power of words within them.” says Libby.
Three Key Points
- There's so much pain in the world and everybody's struggling with their challenges and difficulties. In a way when people read these painful stories they feel not alone but on the other hand, I think they're dealing with so much already. So why add to that why not bring more light stories, more happy stories, or positive stories?
- Libby mentions that as an adult, we get to realize that suffering, pain, joy, and hope they're all part of life. It's all that makes us living beings have a human experience where we grow from the pain we come out the other side with joy.
- Libby narrates ‘Chapter-6’ of the book where you connect with others and also by expressing yourself and finding the vehicle through which you love to express yourself. Some people love to express themselves through them. Other people like to express themselves through painting but by expressing yourself you find your kindred spirits
Tweetable Quotes
- “I had three in Canada and five in Israel.”– Libby Kiszner
- “There can be many answers and many options.” - Libby Kiszner
- “Life is uncertain answers are sometimes a little uncertain, so let's just explore.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “I was seven years old when I found the first book I read.” - Libby Kiszner
- “Some people say writing is so joyful, and other people will say writing is so hard.” - Libby Kiszner
- “How does that book tell us to take us on a walk into certain parts of your book, which I won't reveal because I think it's so fascinating.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The ‘Dear Libby’ book came out of 15 years of listening to questions.” - Libby Kiszner
- “When you express yourself you're like singing a song, you're in harmony with another person.” - Libby Kiszner
- “What a beautiful way of expressing it and I also love what you were talking about writing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Everyone can allow who they are to come through and whatever style wants to come through.” - Libby Kiszner
- “I can see how grounded, centered, and serene you are.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Libby Kiszner Website LinkedIn Amazon Twitter
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Mar 30, 2022
Wednesday Mar 30, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robbins talks with Guest Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California. Dr. Carla discusses her book ‘Aging Joyfully’. This book provides an important and meaningful window into womanhood for those approaching 50 and beyond. She also talks about the issues in the book that are not gender-specific.
Episode Highlights
- 01:00 – Christopher mentions that Dr. Carla focuses on helping others achieve joy and balance from the inside out. She is the author of multiple books.
- 02:05 – ‘Aging Joyfully’ - is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from.
- 04:00 – Christopher asks, what are the unexpected delights of aging that Dr. Carla is referring to?
- 06:40 – The Gen ‘Z’ & millennials seem to be far more willing to embrace self-discovery, mindfulness, intentional learning, and growing, which Dr. Carla is thrilled about.
- 10:34 – Dr. Carla believes that our chronological age is just a number.
- 12:30 – Christopher enquires how can we without remorse look back on our own mistakes and experiences while still looking forward to this unknown future?
- 13:50 - It's about learning from that experience, vowing not to do it again to yourself and to somebody who may have hurt making amends and moving forward, states Dr. Carla.
- 15:16 – If you're not able to forgive, it's about doing that work to see where is that lack of forgiveness coming from.
- 17;40 – Dr. Carla says if you are the person who was fortunate enough to have healthy behavior modeled for you, then those life lessons can be pulled upon and used for the rest of your life.
- 18:22 – “Why did you choose to work joyfully and what does that mean for you?” asks Christopher.
- 22:02 - If we learn how to attend to our joy which is one of the gifts that can come with the least amount of time we have as we get older.
- 24:28 – Christopher enquires from Dr. Carla that when she talks about wisdom and grace, what does that mean in terms of aging?
- 26:12 - We must cultivate our wisdom to see the impact we have on ourselves.
- 28:22 – Christopher asks about the women in our lives and what advice would Dr. Carla have for them as they interact with men.
- 30:40 – If somebody that we love is not taking care of themselves and we’re afraid of their health because they're over drinking, overeating, using substances, or that sort of thing then instead of criticizing your partner, partner up with them.
- 32:55 – Dr. Carla mentions, the author of the book ‘Fatherhood’ said, every man should want therapy in his marriage. Therapy is a must in every relationship in every marriage.
- 34:25 – As a Therapist, Dr. Carla personally takes it as a great privilege when people bring their issues to her and want to work on them.
- 35:01 - If you go and spend your money on a new car, or a new computer, that's only going to give you temporary pleasure why not spend some money on some good therapy and increase your joy.
Three Key Points
- ‘Aging Joyfully’ is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from and truly women because we start having aging concerns, unfortunately, as early as our, women of every age can learn a lot from the book. She believes that people of every gender because our issues are so much the same.
- According to Carla - it’s nice to have enough money to have a roof over our heads and to feel safe and have clothes that are comfy and all of that but most of the time we get distracted by it and we get distracted by society and we forget to attend to our joy.
- We have lost our wisdom. We are so in the pursuit of intelligence and facts and capturing more that we are on the verge of losing our sacred planet. Many intelligent people have the very little capability within their relationships with their relationship to their divine and to caring for the planet that gives us life, that’s not wisdom.
Tweetable Quotes
- “I believe that almost every issue in the book, including things like incontinence, and sexuality, are something that is not gender-specific. - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “No matter what age we are in life, we face physiological and mental issues that aren't gender-specific.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- "I work with people of all ages and it's one of my great joys and a privilege that people let me into the most intimate places of their lives, places they don't share with their best friends or their partners or anyone else.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “We realize, oh my goodness, I'm just beginning to get to know who I am.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Do learn more about who you are and who you want to be.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Chronological age, I think is simply a number, just like a scale weight is a number, and it’s meaningless.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “If I'm carrying resentment, it's harmful to me, it's harmful to you, the person I'm in a relationship with, and if I'm presenting myself am stuck in what I did wrong in the past. It’s only causing me anxiety, stress, and depression.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “It seems like so much of what we learn as children is applicable for the rest of our lives.” – Christopher Robbins
- “The parents saying don't steal and the parents stealing or the parents saying don't use drugs, but the parents’ using drugs. So, all of that conflict.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “If we cannot see the abundance around us the abundance of nature, the abundance of sky and water and all those things, then it becomes a circle of anxiety and depression.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Wisdom is about knowing what is best, right? So, I can have the intelligence to create the world's most wonderful vehicle. But it takes true wisdom to be able to say, how will this help the planet?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “If I have a message for men about ‘Aging Joyfully’, I didn't care if you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 or beyond. Therapy is not a curse, it is a blessing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “It's not that it's a curse to be in therapy, it's a blessing. It takes great courage to go into therapy, and a great deal of work and perseverance.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Podcast Editing