Helping Families Be Happy
 

Helping Families Be Happy

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With help from guest authors, experts, and community and business leaders, the Familius Helping Families Be Happy podcast explores topics and issues that connect families to the nine habits of a happy family: love, play, learn, work, talk, heal, read, eat, and laugh together.

Episodes

Finding Joy in Aging with Dr. Carla Marie Manly

Wednesday Mar 30, 2022

Wednesday Mar 30, 2022

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robbins talks with Guest Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California. Dr. Carla discusses her book ‘Aging Joyfully’. This book provides an important and meaningful window into womanhood for those approaching 50 and beyond. She also talks about the issues in the book that are not gender-specific.



Episode Highlights

  • 01:00 – Christopher mentions that Dr. Carla focuses on helping others achieve joy and balance from the inside out. She is the author of multiple books.
  • 02:05 – ‘Aging Joyfully’ - is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from.
  • 04:00 – Christopher asks, what are the unexpected delights of aging that Dr. Carla is referring to?
  • 06:40 – The Gen ‘Z’ & millennials seem to be far more willing to embrace self-discovery, mindfulness, intentional learning, and growing, which Dr. Carla is thrilled about.
  • 10:34 – Dr. Carla believes that our chronological age is just a number.
  • 12:30 – Christopher enquires how can we without remorse look back on our own mistakes and experiences while still looking forward to this unknown future? 
  • 13:50 - It's about learning from that experience, vowing not to do it again to yourself and to somebody who may have hurt making amends and moving forward, states Dr. Carla.
  • 15:16 – If you're not able to forgive, it's about doing that work to see where is that lack of forgiveness coming from.
  • 17;40 – Dr. Carla says if you are the person who was fortunate enough to have healthy behavior modeled for you, then those life lessons can be pulled upon and used for the rest of your life.
  • 18:22 – “Why did you choose to work joyfully and what does that mean for you?” asks Christopher.
  • 22:02 - If we learn how to attend to our joy which is one of the gifts that can come with the least amount of time we have as we get older.
  • 24:28 – Christopher enquires from Dr. Carla that when she talks about wisdom and grace, what does that mean in terms of aging?
  • 26:12 - We must cultivate our wisdom to see the impact we have on ourselves.
  • 28:22 – Christopher asks about the women in our lives and what advice would Dr. Carla have for them as they interact with men.
  • 30:40 – If somebody that we love is not taking care of themselves and we’re afraid of their health because they're over drinking, overeating, using substances, or that sort of thing then instead of criticizing your partner, partner up with them.
  • 32:55 – Dr. Carla mentions, the author of the book ‘Fatherhood’ said, every man should want therapy in his marriage. Therapy is a must in every relationship in every marriage.
  • 34:25 – As a Therapist, Dr. Carla personally takes it as a great privilege when people bring their issues to her and want to work on them.
  • 35:01 - If you go and spend your money on a new car, or a new computer, that's only going to give you temporary pleasure why not spend some money on some good therapy and increase your joy.



Three Key Points

  1. ‘Aging Joyfully’ is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from and truly women because we start having aging concerns, unfortunately, as early as our, women of every age can learn a lot from the book. She believes that people of every gender because our issues are so much the same. 
  2. According to Carla - it’s nice to have enough money to have a roof over our heads and to feel safe and have clothes that are comfy and all of that but most of the time we get distracted by it and we get distracted by society and we forget to attend to our joy.
  3. We have lost our wisdom. We are so in the pursuit of intelligence and facts and capturing more that we are on the verge of losing our sacred planet. Many intelligent people have the very little capability within their relationships with their relationship to their divine and to caring for the planet that gives us life, that’s not wisdom.

 

Tweetable Quotes

  • “I believe that almost every issue in the book, including things like incontinence, and sexuality, are something that is not gender-specific. - Dr. Carla Marie Manly 
  • “No matter what age we are in life, we face physiological and mental issues that aren't gender-specific.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly 
  • "I work with people of all ages and it's one of my great joys and a privilege that people let me into the most intimate places of their lives, places they don't share with their best friends or their partners or anyone else.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “We realize, oh my goodness, I'm just beginning to get to know who I am.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “Do learn more about who you are and who you want to be.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “Chronological age, I think is simply a number, just like a scale weight is a number, and it’s meaningless.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “If I'm carrying resentment, it's harmful to me, it's harmful to you, the person I'm in a relationship with, and if I'm presenting myself am stuck in what I did wrong in the past. It’s only causing me anxiety, stress, and depression.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “It seems like so much of what we learn as children is applicable for the rest of our lives.” – Christopher Robbins
  • “The parents saying don't steal and the parents stealing or the parents saying don't use drugs, but the parents’ using drugs. So, all of that conflict.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “If we cannot see the abundance around us the abundance of nature, the abundance of sky and water and all those things, then it becomes a circle of anxiety and depression.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “Wisdom is about knowing what is best, right? So, I can have the intelligence to create the world's most wonderful vehicle. But it takes true wisdom to be able to say, how will this help the planet?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “If I have a message for men about ‘Aging Joyfully’, I didn't care if you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 or beyond. Therapy is not a curse, it is a blessing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “It's not that it's a curse to be in therapy, it's a blessing. It takes great courage to go into therapy, and a great deal of work and perseverance.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly



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Staying True to Yourself with Gabe Jensen

Wednesday Mar 23, 2022

Wednesday Mar 23, 2022

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Gabe Jensen (Author-illustrator of his book ‘NEVERWOOF - The Dog That Never Barked). Gabe gives some insights about his book and takes us through the journey of publishing this book.



Episode Highlights

  • 01:10 – Gabe says this is his debut book, and it's something that he has been working on now for approximately 30 years trying to become published. 
  • 02:00 – At the age of 19 Gabe wrote a story which was about little creatures that are responsible for night happening.
  • 04:10 – ‘NEVERWOOF’ is such a good dog, and he never barks. Gabe says anyone who has a dog can appreciate a dog who doesn't bark a lot.
  • 05:25 – Dr. Carla mentions, the upside/downside to the story is that NEVERWOOF is very calm, grounded, and impeccable, and yet, he might have to step out of that calm space to do something good to protect his people.
  • 06:30 – The general message of this book is so beautiful. NEVERWOOF figures out a way to stay true to itself, while still helping his family as well as his house.
  • 09:30 – An important part of the message in this book is to say that you're going to try things on that don't feel right but that is okay, reveals Gabe.
  • 11:10 – Gabe is trying to carve out a little niche of a more classic, and very simplistic style with just two colors. He is hoping kids will respond and connect with the book.
  • 13:15 - When we see a simple message as we're reading to a child, we know they are getting it on some level, no matter the age, and we are getting that reassurance, says Dr. Carla.
  • 15:20 – Gabe refers to the gatekeepers while publishing the book - that for better or worse, even if the story fails and doesn't get published, he feels he is in integrity with himself. 
  • 17:30 – Gabe’s father has been a big inspiration for him as he is a Science Fiction Writer. He was fairly well known.
  • 19:40 – Dr. Carla asks Gabe to give about three or four takeaways for the listeners.
  • 21:05 - If you're interested in creative pursuits, explore those even if you don't feel like you're an expert in any of them, stresses Gabe.
  • 23:00 - If you love the work that you're doing, keep focusing on that and let that push you through a lot of the negativity that you might find.



Three Key Points

  1. In this book, NEVERWOOF hears a fire engine go by; he follows the fire engine and saves a baby. But all the time he keeps this behavior of calm about him until one night when his family home gets invaded by a robber named Stinky Sue. Now he has to decide what to do. Is he going to stay true to himself?
  2. Gabe thinks that kids, and even adults, on the one hand sometimes struggle to be true to who we feel we are but at the same time, especially those kids and adults that may be shy, but they constantly feel the pressure to be kind of get over that. The key is to figure out a way to stay true to that part of yourself that may make you more of a quiet person, but at the same time, you can find your voice in a way that's true to you.
  3. Part of the reason that Gabe is so excited to publish this book is that he is looking forward to having the chance to read to kids of the age that this is designed for, which is four to six. It can be challenging sometimes when you're trying to publish a kid's book because most of the gatekeepers are adults including the Editors, Agents, Art Directors, and others. It can be hard sometimes to not lose track of the fact that you're writing for kids.




Tweetable Quotes

  • “I tried to publish my first book when I was 19 years old.”– Gabe Jensen
  • “I did several board games and logic games.” - Gabe Jensen
  • “We're talking about ‘NEVERWOOF’ being an introvert and a very self-reflective introvert.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “I had to keep looking for where I could find my place in that environment staying true to self.” - Gabe Jensen
  • “That is a big message of the book as figuring out how to tell what the right path is?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “I also designed the art to match the simplicity of what I feel that messages.” - Gabe Jensen
  • “I remember as a kid, seeing books that were incredibly simple.” - Gabe Jensen
  • “I have to fight against that impulse of writing to the market or writing to these gatekeepers.” - Gabe Jensen
  • “If people get pleased, while you're staying in touch with yourself, wonderful, but to lose yourself to please other people doesn't go out very well.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “It's okay to speak a little bit of our false voice as you're trying to find your true voice.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “It's very important to be persistent especially if you're trying to do something difficult, like publishing a book.” - Gabe Jensen

 

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An Enriching First Year for Baby with Laurie Hollman

Wednesday Mar 16, 2022

Wednesday Mar 16, 2022

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Guest, Dr. Laurie Hollman. She discusses her book ‘Playing with Baby’. This book guides using attuned interactions with your baby to create a strong parent-child bond. In each chapter, there are month-by-month play options and the research behind them. 



Episode Highlights

  • 01:10 - Dr. Laurie says she is a Psychoanalyst, and she has worked with infants through older adults. But what prompted this book was when she became an Infant-Parent Psychotherapist.
  • 02:33 – Dr. Laurie initially wrote only parenting books. The first book was called ‘Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in your Child's Behavior’ but the narcissism book was by chance.
  • 04:32 – Dr. Carla enquires if parents who are in tune with their babies can help them not grow up to be narcissists.
  • 06:41 – Dr. Laurie states that the focus of this book is on the baby's mind rather than physical milestones.
  • 08:30 – The book focuses on parent-child collaboration and problem-solving. It's about understanding the meaning of a child's behavior. 
  • 10:01 – Dr. Laurie is teaching mothers how to observe their baby so they can see what's the message the infant is giving to the mother and then they will know how to respond.
  • 10:37 – Dr. Carla enquires what would Dr. Laurie encourage parents to do to help support more attunement to their child and revel in the child's milestones?
  • 11:44 – There's new research coming out on how the development of an infant in the first year has been impacted by the COVID restrictions, states Dr. Laurie.
  • 13:19 – Dr. Laurie points out, she has tried to share with mothers that when you get back in the car or on the subway, however, you got to your pediatrician. Take off that mask and deal with that baby because she will have missed you and have got confused.
  • 15:00 – Infants learn by seeing and they only see the eyes but their audio works. So, the baby in utero learns the voice of the mother. So, when a baby is born, they already know that sound so that it stays consistent even with a mask on so that's just reassuring, highlights Dr. Laurie.
  • 17:25 – Dr. Carla mentions that we adults like it when our significant others make eye contact with us and how much more important that is for a newborn child who was relying on his mom and dad for everything. 
  • 19:10 – The research indicates further that both right and left-handed mothers hold their babies on the left side of their bodies to comfort their infants.
  • 20:50 - A fantastic finding from first it said infants are motivated to identify patterns, footers, and sequences.
  • 23:10 – Dr. Carla says, it's survival of our species that they need to be able to predict some amount of outcome and that we now have research that reassures us that yes, these little beings are there are some ways to train us our day.
  • 25:56 - Once their (baby) eyes reach the target they look back at you because they want your feedback. See if they've isolated the right target, mentions Laurie
  • 27:24 – Baby’s gaze is going to alternate between his choice of target, which might be a toy, and your face until he sees that you have joined his attention, states Laurie
  • 30:55 - We are accustomed to seeing mobiles, even advertisements hanging in the middle of the crib. That's not where they belong because that's not where your baby's first going to look.
  • 32:48 – Dr. Laurie shares some illustrations from the book. 
  • 34:06 – Baby is learning something called ‘Object Constancy’, which means that when an object is out of view, an object is out of view, it still exists.
  • 36:00 – Dr. Laurie shares an illustration from her book of a seven-month-old baby named Samantha which is about Parent Psychotherapy Sessions.
  • 41:38 – Dr. Laurie uses this example because mothers are people and mothers have mothers and things are going to interfere in your lives with playing with your baby and how you manage them is very important.
  • 42:20 – Kazz is becoming an attentive mother even when her family situation is challenging, due to her own mother's emotional illness.
  • 43:50 – Think about your baby's vision. A baby's line of sight or vision is most clearly focused at the distance of a person holding them.
  • 45:06 - We have the mistaken belief that our babies learn to read when she's not that she remembers what pictures are all about.
  • 47:03 – Dr. Carla points out, whatever we say be a good or not so good becomes part of who we are. When we're interacting with baby, whatever we say, or do babies imitate it.



Three Key Points

  1. The key message in the book is, from birth, infants live in a two-person world and as per 50 years old research, babies were considered to be entirely symbiotic with their mother. We learned that they certainly depend on their mother and they need to be nursed or bed, but they do have minds of their own. It’s a two-person world from the start, and that's a kind of exciting thing to share. 
  2. If a mother, father, or primary caregiver is depressed then that is a very serious problem for a baby. You need another caretaker there as well who is going to fill in that gap where the baby is going to have trouble learning.
  3. You'll find that each chapter is a different month. So, each chapter will give a lot of information about how the research is easily understood and it will optimize your play choices.



Tweetable Quotes

  • “People feel like I took the clinical concept and made it very accessible to many readers. And that was my aim.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “If you're a mommy listening or reading this interview, they will choose you over others with their gazes.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “I can just see when you have a baby in your arms and mommy or daddy looking down at baby that attunement that you get from that gaze that locked Love Field gaze is where the child feels seen and safe. I love that.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “Recognition is the way the baby learns what's going on, and the way they relate to you and mothers at home don't wear masks. So that solves that problem since the kids go out, everybody has a mask on that's completely contrary to what an infant how do they learn” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “I saw her then with her mask off and I studied her, I just said you need to stay right there for a minute. I need to take in who you are.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “It's found that the right orbital frontal cortex and Vaccae area right behind your eyes sockets moderates the mother's abilities to understand for infants emotional choose and respond to their senses.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “The mother is as biologically programmed from her pregnancy to want to play with her baby in the first few days.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “Mothers pointing her finger out their forefinger at the baby will follow her line of vision.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “Play does not equal toys. Play is about the interaction; play is interacting with the baby.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “I have to tell you the red neon was very purposeful because babies like red, yellow, black and white.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “We're so attuned to rapid activity that we forget babies need to think and take their time so we need to be patient and wait.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “You can use anything you pick and put it under a blanket ticket app and your baby will want to do that over and over and over again” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “We know that Kazz is going to be worried about her mother. But even so, it doesn't distract her too much from focusing on Samantha.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “How important that is to be compassionate with yourself and your situation. So, then you can also be compassionate in your interactions with your little one.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “Babies love novelty. So, if they see the same picture over and over, like with cardboard picture books, they may start to resent just so showing something else and they pick right up.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “Babies learn from us very quickly by imitation. So, it's just wonderful to realize again no toys needed.” – Dr. Laurie Hollman
  • “When interacting with a baby or even when you don't think you're interacting with baby, how important it is for us to model kindness, love compassion, our patients slowing down and being attuned.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly



Resources Mentioned

 

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The Magic of Sensory Play with Gina Sadilek

Wednesday Mar 09, 2022

Wednesday Mar 09, 2022

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with guest Gina Sadilek, who will be talking about the importance of sensory play, her Etsy Shop, ‘A Magical Minute’ and her Instagram @amagicalminute. 

 

 

Episode Highlights

  • 01:30 – Dr. Carla asks if Gina’s two daughters have anything to do with how she started ‘A Magical Minute’.
  • 02:47 – Gina says that they sold somewhere around 600 kits that they've made, so it's been quite a whirlwind.
  • 05:10 – Gina reveals that she has been talking to some physical therapists and they were telling her how useful it would be in physical therapy for improving people who have had strokes or something like that.
  • 07:10 – Dr. Carla enquires Gina about her mom’s favorite kit.
  • 09:10 – Gina has got around 2800 Instagram subscribers and most of them are Moms.
  • 11:00 – The guest talks about the importance of sensory play and the way she leaves that sensory play in with the books.
  • 14:20 - It's been quite an interesting journey because due to COVID Gina couldn’t send her daughter to preschool when she was three, and now it is so nice to see how she socializes with other kids.
  • 16:10 – Gina had a very hard time when Isabel was a newborn. She says she is not a baby person so that was hard for her.
  • 18:10 – They eat almost all meals together as a family and that's been good for their kids to be sitting around the table and talking. They don't do any devices during dinner time and mealtime which is so important.
  • 20:45 – Dr. Carla requests Gina to share maybe one or two kernels of wisdom with the listeners.
  • 21:00 – Gina shares that it is so important to introduce different sensory bases or tactile things to your kids, and then also just the concept of reading to your children.

 

 

Three Key Points

  1. All the kits have play dough in them that Gina’s mom makes by hand and then they include different kinds of little bits and bobs in there for the kids to play with. The construction kit includes construction cars, little signs that have railroad crossing on them, some rocks, and others.
  2. Gina states that she has been so lucky to connect with amazing women and moms out on the Instagram platform and it's been an interesting process. She got into replay setup with both of her daughters like introducing different textures, water play, and all of that. 
  3. Dr. Carla mentions that a beautiful part about intentional parenting is that natural enjoyment that comes up because you love your kids and enjoy being with them.

 

 

 Tweetable Quotes

  • “You partnered with your mom, tell me a little bit about how that happened.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “But my daughter ended up loving the construction kits.” - Gina Sadilek
  • “What a fun toy it would be to join with your child or grandchild in using your using your kids.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “Now, a little bit more about your Instagram account.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “She's made a lot of great friends and she loves being there.” - Gina Sadilek
  • “Yeah, babies stuff was just not for me.” - Gina Sadilek
  • “We're very lucky and blessed that we're all able to sit down at the table together and eat dinner.” - Gina Sadilek



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Breast Cancer, Mastectomies, and Beyond with Kim Harms

Wednesday Mar 02, 2022

Wednesday Mar 02, 2022

In today’s episode of “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Kim Harms, an Author, Freelance Editor, and Speaker about her upcoming book ‘Life Reconstructed: Navigating the World of Mastectomies and Breast Reconstruction. In this book, Kim shares an honest roadmap every breast cancer fighter needs on her journey to recovery.

 

Episode Highlights

  • 01:38 – Kim says her first book ‘Life Reconstructed’ is the book that came out of her breast cancer experience.
  • 02:48 – There's a chapter that refers to the interviews with people, how cancer affected their lives, states Kim.
  • 04:50 - In this book, Kim has shared how Corey (her husband) and she got through the cancer journey. She also talks about how she dealt with the physical pain and with the people who say hurtful things.
  • 06:01 – Kim suggests how to communicate better with your husband during this tough time.
  • 08:09 - You probably need to let that partner know how you're feeling that is too much and that you need a break.
  • 10:06 – Kim shares that her oldest one is not very talkative. 
  • 12:27 - It was definitely a process of healing and growing together as a family, says Kim.
  • 14:37 - Your book will be a good guide a good best friend to have in their purse or their knapsack, says Dr. Carla Marie Manly.
  • 18:16 – When we’re going through this think about, what we can do when we get to the other side that would be just kind of celebrating, getting through this together.
  • 20:05 – Kim shares, they give away free mastectomy pillows at their website. So, if someone going through cancer and needs pillows after surgery, they give you support.

 

Three Key Points

  1. This book would help to understand the person who is going through cancer and how they are dealing with it. What exactly is a mastectomy or what does that mean when you say flat reconstruction, that kind of information to help them understand the medical side, but then there's also a lot of emotional side to it like how can we help this person? How can we understand what she's going through? 
  2. Kim shares, one can get tested for a gene and if they have a certain mutation, then their chances of breast cancer are extremely high.
  3. If we are going through a hard thing like this, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed out and not want to go through it and just feel those emotions. Don't try to be superwoman. Go through just one day at a time. 

 

Tweetable Quotes

  • “My book is like reconstructive the subtitle is navigating the world of mastectomy and breast reconstruction.” – Kim Harms
  • “When your stress is high like that, and you're going through something so painful, relationships are affected.” – Kim Harms
  • “I also share the experience of many other women that I interviewed during the process.” – Kim Harms
  • “We didn't realize what was causing the friction.” – Kim Harms
  • “Being together with your family through this difficult time. Not only gave them the gift of compassion but also really craved a lot of healing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly 
  • “We went on a backpacking trip which we've done a few times but with our boys and it ended up being this crazy trip.” – Kim Harms

 

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10 Steps to a Happier Family with Christopher Robbins

Wednesday Feb 23, 2022

Wednesday Feb 23, 2022

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Christopher Robbins, Founder of ‘Familius Publishing’. He is talking about the 10 Habits of Happy Family. He also shares tips to those struggling families who are missing all these elements of being a happy family.



Episode Highlights

  • 01:53 – Dr. Carla enquires, where the 10 Habits come from?
  • 03:47 – Christopher shares, they started to frame this around these 10 habits and it was nine at first.
  • 04:47 – The 10th habit is about giving because giving as a family will strengthen that family when they look outside of themselves, says Christopher.
  • 07:37 – Dr. Carla asks Christopher about his views on people who are struggling to find that time to sit down at the family dinner table and connect.
  • 09:22 - All you listeners out there who might have not had a family dinner in a while such sage advice. Start small pick one day one meal and make that filled with love and joy, says Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • 11:06 – Christopher states, it's all about the time that you can give to another person to show your interest in that person.
  • 13:05 – We don't need any healthier habits here but consistency is such an important part of showing love, says the host.
  • 19:29 – Dr. Carla says when we're connecting with someone if we don't understand them, that alone can be so connective.
  • 22:06 – Christopher mentions that healing is more than just a band-aid. 
  • 23:33 – There are so many people who are discouraged, who have anxiety in some form or another, and we can't say to a depressed person, don't be depressed, mentions Christopher
  • 25:49 – When we show our love, not just say we love you but show we love you it's just the best thing in the world for the part of the body, mind, and soul.
  • 27:38 – When we forgive, we heal that is truth. So, if we want to heal together, learn to forgive each other and move on.
  • 30:14 – Christopher says, no matter what it was working, there were lessons taught and opportunities to talk and to learn and to trust and to love.
  • 32:33 – The host states that when we join with a child in sweeping the floor or folding the clothes or picking up their room and making it a game and making it fun, we accomplish the same task, but we accomplish it with joy and connection. 



Three Key Points

  1. Christopher highlights, no one habit is better than another and they don't even prioritize these. The 10 habits are - eat together, heal together, laugh together, learn together, love together, play together, read together, talk together, work together, and give together.
  2. It is really about creating intentional habits that make us healthier human beings and thus supporting a healthy family.
  3. We need to do our best slowly but surely to make some of these habits come to life in our homes.



Tweetable Quotes

  • “Depression and anxiety tend to be reduced when we volunteer when we give.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “My recommendation is to start slow, pick one day a week that you say as a fan” - Christopher Robbins
  • “Eat, laugh, and talk that provides you with recipes, games and conversation starters.” - Christopher Robbins
  • “You can show love to your family by also making sure that there are consistent fouls that are helpful.” - Christopher Robbins
  • “Consistency does bring that peace of safety and safety builds trust.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “We have a great book called ‘The Big Book of Family Games; this book has no technology allowed.” – Christopher Robbins
  • “Sometimes just by showing the interest builds that trust that then allows them to start sharing with you.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • ‘When people start sharing with you, their problems, their challenges, they're not necessarily asking you to solve them for them.” - Christopher Robbins
  • “Forgiveness asks us to let go keep a good boundary maybe set a new boundary, but to let go of the resentment, let go of the pain.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “Take advantage of the opportunities that exist in the world and marine life is not just to be endured, supposed to be enjoyed was to our best to enjoy it.” - Christopher Robbins

 

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Feeling and Naming Your Feelings with Rebecca Fox Starr

Wednesday Feb 16, 2022

Wednesday Feb 16, 2022

Feeling and Naming Your Feelings with Rebecca Fox Starr

In today’s episode of “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Rebecca Fox Starr about her book ‘Mommy Ever After’, and all about her journey of becoming an author.

 

Episode Highlights

  • 02:30 – Dr. Carla asks the guest about one or two pieces of the hard work that make Rebecca who she is.
  • 04:48 – Rebecca says that after the birth of her son in 2013, she had severe postpartum depression and it came out of nowhere.
  • 07:20 – Dr. Carla enquires what is the most magical piece about the book - 'Mommy Ever After' that's different from the other books that Rebecca wrote.
  • 10:10 – It is a story about a mother and her daughter as they go through the stages of life, and experience all different emotions, specifically, some of the tough emotions.
  • 14:10 - The holistic approach (mind, body, and spirit approach) is so important, says Dr. Carla.
  • 17:10 - What is your favorite part about the way the illustrations speak, asks Dr. Carla.
  • 19:10 – Rebecca states that it's very hard to choose her favorite illustrations from the book because every page is just exquisite to her.
  • 20:50 – Rebecca suggests that whatever feelings you may feel instead of judging them bring them in, welcome them, sit with them, and let them go.

 

Three Key Points

  1. Rebecca started to write in real-time about her struggle with postpartum depression on her blog and that changed the trajectory of her life. She opened up about the heart stuff and subsequently wrote two books that are academic books on perinatal mood, anxiety disorders, and maternal mental health. Writing 'Mommy Ever After' has been such a dream realized; it is something magical for Rebecca.
  2. Dr. Carla mentions that this book helps check the child and parent, both as a team learn about emotions being good, that all of these emotions are so important to be able to feel and express in healthy ways.
  3. Rebecca emphasizes that sometimes feelings don't have names. It's very hard to name these feelings, but it does not make them any less intense or valid. She has tried to instill in her children that they can say I'm not feeling well. If they say I'm not feeling well, she might ask them, physically or emotionally. If they say emotionally, she takes it just as seriously as any physical ailment.

 

Tweetable Quotes

  • "Your story is just so beautiful meeting the boy down the street around the corner." - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • "Mommy Ever After - the phrase came about when I became a mom in 2010, I was the first of my friends to have a baby." - Rebecca Fox Starr
  • "Being a mother, being a mom, it's another layer in life altogether." - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • "First of all, I can't take credit for the visual representations in this book." - Rebecca Fox Starr
  • "I love the message that goes throughout the book of being in touch with your emotions." - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • "I appreciate that you were able to glean that because that's what my intention is." - Rebecca Fox Starr
  • "I have so many favorite images but I'll give you two." - Rebecca Fox Starr
  • "What a powerful book, it's a gorgeous book." - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • "Beautiful and I agree with you, everything starts and ends with love." - Dr. Carla Marie Manly



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Science, Magic, and Puppetry with Randel McGee

Wednesday Feb 09, 2022

Wednesday Feb 09, 2022

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Randel McGee, a Ventriloquist, Storyteller, Illustrator, and an Author. He shares his upcoming book ‘Zhang Heng’. This book tells the story of Zhang Heng and how he created the first seismometer in ancient China. 

 

Episode Highlights

  • 01:22 – Randel shares, this is his first picture book for young audiences.
  • 02:35 – It’s about the story of Zhang Heng who was the actual inventor/creator and created this earthquake detector device.
  • 03:40 – Dr. Carla enquires, how accurate was the earthquake detector?
  • 04:14 – Randel shares, the age range for his book would be from 6 to 12. He has illustrated it to look like a Chinese Shadow Play. 
  • 06:26 – The host asks, can you tell us a little bit about what happened in his life that makes him a meaningful character other than being the creator of this wonderful device?
  • 08:02 – Randel states, Zhang was highly favoured of the emperor, which unfortunately caused a little bit of jealousy among the other members of the court. 
  • 09:44 - Some scenes portray a humorous side to the story and he too has been very impressed with the familiarise ideals that they want to promote, says Randel.
  • 11:47 – Dr. Carla asks that when Randel looks at what has made him, who he is and what he is proudest of in life?
  • 13:23 – It sounds like you also carry that energy i.e. perseverance, dedication, fortitude, indomitable spirit, into your relationship with your wife and your family to make it what it is, asks Dr. Carla.
  • 14:10 – Dr. Carla mentions that sometimes we gravitate toward an entity that has familiar energy to us.
  • 16:07 – Randel states, publishers thought it was a story that was worth telling, too. 
  • 17:03 – He came up with an interesting presentation because earthquakes in California are a big subject in the schools of studies, mentions Randel.



Three Key Points

  1. This book is about the story of Zhang Hang, who lived almost 2000 years ago in China. He was assigned by the emperor to create some way of detecting where and when an earthquake hit, so he created this device which was able to show which direction the earthquake came from and when it hit.
  2. Dr. Carla shares that this book is a wonderful inspiration for people of all ages not only from the scientific level but also from a creative level. Being inspired by a dream and then taking us into the world of creativity and the way that tiny shadow puppets are done. It sounds beautiful. 
  3. Randel highlights that this story is not only good for science, history, and culture but also to discuss what it takes to persevere to keep going when people are against you and yet you have something good to give to the world.



Tweetable Quotes

  • “I took a little artistic license and added a dream sequence but everything else is a true story.” – Randel McGee
  • “It's a book that can be read together through the generations and talked about.’ – Randel McGee
  • “It's coming out just before the Chinese New Year’s so it will be I think, a special edition, too.” – Randel McGee
  • “He refined an odometer that would count the distance that they would travel and he was able to create different devices to chart the movement of the stars and the planets.” – Randel McGee
  • “The fact that the emperor liked him too much made him a threat to the people didn't feel quite as loved, sounds like family dynamics.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly 
  • “My greatest accomplishment is my relationship with my wife and family.” - Randel McGee
  • “It seems like maybe you gravitated toward that character towards that person, Zhang Heng.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly 
  • “The book was inspired by a program I had been commissioned to produce on earthquakes.” – Randel McGee



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Finding the Purpose of Your Life with John Schlimm

Wednesday Feb 02, 2022

Wednesday Feb 02, 2022

In today’s episode of “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with John Schlimm, a writer, an artist, an advocate, and an educator speaks about his upcoming book ‘The Star Jumped over the Moon’. This book tells readers about how they are the star that jumped over the moon. John tells listeners the purpose of life. It’s figuring out what it is that makes us different and unique. 

 

Episode Highlights

  • 01:58 – John shares, several years back a publicist once had asked him for PR materials to summarize who he is in one sentence, which is a challenge for anyone.
  • 03:26 – Dr. Carla enquires, where does the star jump over the moon come from?
  • 04:02 - John mentions, it's that apple tree that was very much rooted upon an old field of green that inspired this story.
  • 06:24 – John worked very hard to make sure that the story of ‘The Star Jumped over the Moon’ is timeless.
  • 08:40 – John has recently fallen in love with the genre of a zine. They're a collection of writings, artwork, and activities that different groups would put together very simply on a photocopier.
  • 10:23 – The guest loves to create as many different entry points as he can for the participants to come in.
  • 14:30 – The cover of the activity zine to ‘The Star Jumped over the Moon’ when people download it, they will see that it’s created by ‘John Schlimm’ and there's a blank line where he wants his collaborators to write their names.
  • 16:00 – John sees kids today as the imagination generation because he believes that kids today have more tools and pathways for exploring and cultivating than any generation before.
  • 18:11 – Imagination is one constant gift that from the beginning of time that has consistently allowed human beings to leap over any challenges, states John.
  • 20:00 – The greatest gift that Gen Z has already given to the world is within the realm of mental health. 
  • 22:21 – You're talking about the imagination, that if there is a way forward, it will be through the imagination and the heart, says Dr. Carla.
  • 24:02 – John states, he has encouraged older adults to just sit down and have a conversation with these young people (Gen Z).
  • 27:04 – We hope we look at each other with acceptance, and a sense of uplifting, supporting, and moving forward focusing on our similarities rather than on any negative differences.
  • 28:00 – The greatest villain right now in the story of the imagination generation is mental health, mentions John.
  • 30:38 - Not only let the kids have fun but have fun alongside them because we adults in so many ways have forgotten how to have fun, says the guest.
  • 34:41 – Dr. Carla points out that those themes are no charge, you can go download, play, laugh, and explore to your heart's content.

 



Three Key Points

  1. The main message that John hopes all readers will walk away with at the end is that they are the ‘Star That Jumped over the Moon’; he wants each reader to come to this book and find themselves in the story of this star. This star who on a chilly morning, woke up in a nest on a branch inside that old apple tree, didn't know how he got there, didn't know where he came from and didn't understand what his purpose was. 
  2. John wants especially those young people to walk away, embracing their imagination, their creativity, their dreams, and figuring out what it is that makes them different and unique because each of us is unique in our ways.
  3. No matter where or how we were born in this world, our imagination is something that is constant and can take us anywhere we want to go. John hopes that with this book and with the activity zine he also created the imagination generation activities that seem to be a companion to that concept. 



Tweetable Quotes

  • “A dear friend of mine once told me, every story has its time to be told.” – John Schlimm
  • “It was important for me, especially as an educator to create a series of resources that could be downloaded for free by parents, teachers, and librarians or by anyone who works or lives with children…..” - John Schlimm
  • “This is a story that I think whether it's children who are reading it, or having it read to them, or the adults who are doing the reading, everyone's going to walk away finding a piece of themselves in this star.” – John Schlimm
  • “I created a companion activities theme that takes the reader through different activities to help them connect and understand how they are that star that jumped over the moon.” – John Schlimm
  • “I love that you're providing resources so that a book like this can take somebody into a deeper space.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “I wanted the zine to have that wonderful old school feeling.” – John Schlimm
  • “It's okay to show those flaws and to be vulnerable.’ – John Schlimm
  • “You might even see a smudge of a fingerprint in there, as it gets kind of messy when you're working with markers and all of that.” – John Schlimm
  • “The energy that I get from your work is there's a lot of love, play, learning, working together, talking, and healing all of those beautiful elements that allow us to grow as human beings.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “That is such a true educator and artist in you and collaborator, you allow someone to co-author with you, so beautiful.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “The imagination is so critical for the success of our species, right?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “I'm a huge number one fan of Gen Z and have spent the last several years in the classroom with them.” – John Schlimm
  • “One of the greatest gifts that they have given to the world is they were the first generation to not see black or white.” – John Schlimm
  • “Every generation has given gifts, but I do believe that the imagination is the one that kids today are going to be able to give to the world in a way that is just going to blow our minds.” – John Schlimm
  • “I'm so grateful to Gen Z that they are helping to clear a pathway for the imagination generation kids today.” – John Schlimm
  • “When we have good mental health, strong mental health, we inherently have a more balanced life.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “One of the things I love to do most to have fun is climbing trees.’ – John Schlimm
  • ‘Your differences don't make you bad, they're nothing to hide.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “You are the star who jumped over the moon.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly



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Social Media as a Parenting Resource with Hannah Lee

Wednesday Jan 26, 2022

Wednesday Jan 26, 2022

In today’s episode of “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Hannah Lee, a Content Creator and an Instagram Marketer about the power of social media as a resource for parents. She also talks about how she helps other moms who work from home by marketing their small businesses.

 

Episode Highlights

  • 02:15 - Hannah was isolated at home so she tried to join a local Facebook support group. However, she was kicked out of the group within two weeks because she mentioned a comment about ‘Sleep Training’ on a post made by an exhausted desperate mother.
  • 03:45 – Hannah’s Instagram page is an intentionally created safe, positive community for stay-at-home moms.
  • 06:45 – Dr. Carla states that it is so inspirational that instead of going and curling up in a dark hole, Hannah chose to be courageous, and started her way of connecting with people.
  • 08:30 – Through the Instagram page and other groups they started sharing different ideas and tricks of creating support for the community and helping other moms in need.
  • 10:40 – So many people who've been put in unexpected situations recently, like working moms, but are also watching their child at home.
  • 13:20 – Dr. Carla asks about Hannah’s favorite content creation.
  • 16:00 – Hannah does some marketing for the small businesses run by moms.
  • 18:15 – To be able to review books for the publishing houses is a dream come true for Hannah as she has always been a book lover.
  • 19:30 – Dr. Carla asks Hannah if she remembers her favorite book as a child if she had one.
  • 21:40 – Hannah reminds parents that parenting was already hard and now we are pandemic parenting, and it's become even harder. 

 

Three Key Points

  1. Hannah thinks that there's a need in the world for something to help mothers build community, and that’s how her Instagram page and the Content Creator in her were born. This page is called ‘Survival of The-Stay-At-Home-Mom’ because it was born out of this difficult struggle to find support.
  2. In addition to the entire wonderful expert resources on Instagram, Hannah discovered many fabulous small businesses and handmade toys by small businesses. She is now connected with brand representatives for a handful of small businesses, toymakers, and small businesses run by moms, and they are now her friends.
  3. Books and Sensory Play are a way to engage kids with the world in a safe way at home. You can travel the world in a book, you can provide kids with some slime, play dough, or rice bins that let them get their hands in there and touch everything.

 

Tweetable Quotes

  • “I'm a former Teacher and Nanny but I had no idea what the transition to motherhood would be like.”– Hannah Lee
  • “I found this app called ‘Peanut’, which is a dating app, but it's for mothers finding communities, which is cool.” - Hannah Lee
  • “Do you stay awake at night thinking about what to create next?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “You are reaching 3000 formally isolated individuals who now have someone to turn to.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
  • “I am finding so many inspirational people on Instagram, I am following Occupational Therapists, Parenting Specialists, and Nutritionists.” - Hannah Lee
  • “They're engaged and are having a fabulous time and it’s simple and easy.” - Hannah Lee
  • “So, I also have a very strong passion for Sensory Play.” - Hannah Lee
  • “I am a book lover; I always used to sleep with mountains of books as a child.” - Hannah Lee
  • “Books and Sensory Play has been therapy for our family.” - Hannah Lee
  • “The community is such a lifesaving gift isn't it?” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly

 

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