Helping Families Be Happy

Once Upon a Time at Home: Family Storytelling with Antonio Sacre

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Antonio Sacre, a bilingual Cuban and Irish American writer. As a writer in television, Antonio focuses on multicultural family dynamics, telling universal stories with authenticity and culturally specific details. He is a featured storyteller at the National Storytelling Festival and other global events, inspiring audiences to embrace their family narratives. Antonio's stories, published in award-winning books like "My Name is Cool," and audio recordings, highlight the power of storytelling in fostering resilience and strengthening family relationships.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 01:46: Antonio introduces himself as a storyteller, emphasizing curiosity and the art of asking questions. He shares his journey into storytelling, starting with family inquiries and later discovering storytelling as a profession.
• 03:07: Antonio discusses the value of storytelling in family environments, emphasizing its role in building connections, creating joy, and fostering easier communication between parents and children.
• 04:20: Antonio suggests incorporating storytelling into daily activities, such as car rides, meal preparations, and walks. He highlights the importance of creating a storytelling space and being present by minimizing distractions like devices.
• 06:56: Christopher and Antonio delve into the essence of storytelling, touching on the idea that the details of a story may not matter as much as the overall message or connection it conveys.
• 07:54: Antonio advises parents to realize they have stories to share, even if they don't see themselves as storytellers. He encourages exploring family history, using car rides for storytelling, and finding opportunities to share stories during daily activities.
• 08:11 Antonio encourages individuals to recognize the abundance of stories in their lives, offering suggestions on where and how to tell them.
• 11:44: Antonio explains the concept that details don't matter in storytelling unless they are crucial to the point of the story. He shares an example of forgetting the chalk bag during a climbing competition and how a coach's story helped his son in a similar situation.
• 13:37: Christopher and Antonio discuss the role of reading in storytelling. Antonio recommends starting with family stories and then expanding to collections of folk tales from the library, emphasizing the importance of librarians in this process.
• 16:54: Antonio emphasizes the power of stories, drawing from personal experiences with his own family's stories, the brain's response to storytelling, and its impact on literacy. He shares Maya Angelou's quote about the lasting emotional impact of storytelling.
• 18:23 Christopher interjects with a remark about the significance of libraries, citing David McCullough's comment that there are more libraries than McDonald's, which Antonio appreciates.
• 23:10 Antonio highlights the impact of stories on brain activity, language acquisition, empathy, and reading skills.

 

Key Points:

1. Storytelling is crucial for creating strong bonds within families by sharing personal experiences and traditions.
2. Rather than getting every detail right, prioritize the core message of a story to deepen the emotional connection and understanding.
3. Research suggests that storytelling activates specific brain circuits, contributing to improved language acquisition, prevention of conditions like Alzheimer's, and enhanced literacy skills in children.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "Family stories weave the fabric of connection, creating a tapestry of shared experiences and traditions”. - Antonio
• "Immerse your family in the power of shared narratives; it's the secret sauce that fosters resilience in tough times.” - Antonio
• Storytelling is the universal language that binds generations – a timeless gift passed down like a cherished heirloom.” - Antonio

 

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://www.antoniosacre.com/
• Podcast Editing

Crafting Through Chaos: Embracing Messy Memories with Jackie Gill

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Adina Oberman talks to Jackie Gill, a mom and freelance content creator specialising in DIY arts and crafts, particularly in the holiday space. Jackie is passionate about creating various life moments, both big and small, and she shares her creative ideas on her Instagram page and blog.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 01:41: Jackie talks about her crafting journey, mentioning her creative side and how she began sharing it on Instagram during the Covid lockdown. She emphasises the desire to bring positivity and creativity to those stuck at home.
• 03:37: Jackie candidly discusses the inevitable crafting fails, mentioning that for every successful project shared on Instagram, there are around 10 fails behind the scenes. She acknowledges being a perfectionist but highlights the importance of embracing the messiness, especially when crafting with kids.
• 05:12: Adina and Jackie share a laugh as they recall a memorable crafting fail involving a garland dyed with fabric dye that ended up looking like a crime scene.
• 06:08: Jackie underscores the significance of sharing both successful projects and failures on social media. She emphasises that her intention is not to project perfection but to authentically connect with others and create a sense of community around the messiness and fun of crafting.
• 07:29: Reflecting on the twists and turns of crafting, Adina appreciates the unexpected outcomes, finding beauty in the creative process. She emphasises the joy derived from the unpredictability of crafting, transforming unexpected outcomes into something beautiful and memorable.
• 08:37: Adina reflects on the lasting memories formed with children during messy and creative moments, emphasising the gift of quality time and memorable experiences. She underscores the value children receive—quality time and messy, memorable moments with their special grown-ups—rather than solely focusing on the end result.
• 10:33: Stressing experimentation, Jackie recommends saving beginner-friendly projects and gradually refining skills, fostering a sense of confidence. She advises taking the plunge, especially with kids, exploring beginner-friendly projects, and gradually finding preferences through experimentation.
• 11:19: Jackie recommends picking projects based on individual strengths and interests, avoiding overwhelm. She advises organising materials by type to maintain clarity in crafting projects.
• 13:34: Adina asks for tips on organising craft materials, and Jackie recommends grouping materials by type, making it easier to find what you need.
• 15:37:  They discuss the idea of trying new crafts by sharing materials with friends, making it a low-risk and collaborative venture. Jackie shares her strategy of decluttering by repurposing or giving away unused materials, fostering a sense of community with a craft-sharing circle.
• 17:10 Adina recaps the advice, including starting without overthinking, focusing on the process, organising materials, planning purchases with project ideas, and sharing unused materials. 

 

Key Points:

1. Overcome the fear of not being good enough or making a mess. Start with small, beginner-friendly projects, and don't be afraid to try different crafts to discover your preferences.
2. When crafting with kids, prioritise the experience and memories over achieving perfect results. Embrace the mess and chaos that may come with involving children in crafting activities.
3. Use social media platforms like Instagram for crafting inspiration. Look for beginner-friendly projects and ideas that require minimal materials.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "Crafting is a journey of growth; from the chaos of Covid lockdowns to becoming a parent and content creator, my skill set has blossomed." - Jackie Gill
• "Crafting is not about perfection, but about creating memories with your kids. Embrace the mess and enjoy the process! - Jackie Gill
• “Don't fear a craft store overwhelm. Start small, focus on projects you love, and share unused materials joyfully.” - Jackie Gill

 

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://www.instagram.com/jackiegblog/
• Podcast Editing

Empowering the Next Generation of Women in STEM with Laura Carter

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Laura Carter, about influential women who have influenced science, technology, engineering, and math, and even art.  Laura Carter is an Oxford, AL native with a Bachelor of History and a Master of Education from the University of Montevallo. Laura, a high school history teacher since 2013, is also certified in English language arts. She is an accomplished author in children's literature, starting with "The Elect and Restoration" in 2013.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 02:15: Laura shares the inspiration behind her exploration of women in STEM, referencing the term "feminist" and her experience teaching at a STEM magnet high school in Huntsville, AL.
• 04:09: The discussion delves into the various STEM disciplines covered in Laura's book, highlighting mathematicians, programmers, astronauts, physicists, therapists, physicians, and more.
• 05:19: The conversation introduces notable women, starting with Dorothy Vaughn, known for her role as NASA's human calculator, featured in the film and book "Hidden Figures."
• 07:13: Laura advocates for increased recognition of women in STEM fields, expressing the importance of acknowledging the accomplishments of female professionals in various STEM disciplines. Laura also shares surprising statistics about the representation of women in professional STEM fields, revealing that around 30-34% of professionals in STEM are women.
• 08:18: Laura reflects on Mary Shelley's ground breaking role in science fiction, noting her significance as a woman in a male-dominated field.
• 09:35: Laura emphasizes the significant involvement of women in education, citing Maria Montessori's student-led approach and the prevalence of women majoring in education in college.
• 10:44: Christopher acknowledges the holistic nature of STEM education, incorporating STEM-related fields into a comprehensive educational experience.
• 11:29: Laura discusses the changing landscape of computer science, noting the increasing participation of women in tech companies and the start-up scene. She highlights the evolving opportunities in the field.
• 12:05: Laura emphasizes the changing dynamics in computer science and expresses awe at the remarkable programming skills demonstrated by her students, reflecting on missed opportunities in her own educational choices.
• 14:06 Laura mentions Phyllis Wheatley, the first published African American woman, known for her support of George Washington. Also, Rachel Carson, an environmentalist who authored "Silent Spring" and initiated the environmental movement.
• 15:34 Laura expresses the desire for families and kids to recognize that entering STEM fields is achievable, emphasizing the integration of STEM with humanities and arts. Encourages children not to be afraid and to realize the world is open to them.
• 17:05 Laura encourages young women to believe that STEM is possible for them, emphasizing that the only barrier is oneself. She urges them to read, discuss with teachers, parents, or friends, and find an area of interest to explore, promoting the idea of being a lifelong learner.

 

Key Points:

1. Laura Carter, author of "STEMinist Force," discussed her book on a podcast, emphasizing the importance of showcasing diverse women in STEM.
2. The book aims to inspire girls to explore STEM fields, particularly addressing the underrepresentation in computer science.
3. Laura encourages a lifelong learning mindset and highlights the diverse range of STEM fields beyond the commonly associated ones, such as mathematicians, programmers, astronauts, physicists, therapists, teachers, and more.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "Laura Carter highlights the fascinating blend of feminism and STEM, encouraging young minds to explore the world of science, technology, engineering, and math.” - Laura Carter
• "STEM is a quiet but powerful force shaping our world, extending beyond computer desks and laboratories. Laura Carter emphasizes the importance of recognizing STEM in our everyday lives.” - Laura Carter
• "Aspiring to be a lifelong learner is the key takeaway from Laura Carter's insights. She encourages young minds to find their interests, dive into STEM, and realize the potential to make a difference.” - Laura Carter

 

Resources Mentioned:

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://laurawcarter.com/author/laurawcarter/
• Podcast Editing

She Spoke Too: Amplifying Voices of Change with Manuela Bernardi and Kathy MacMillan

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Manuela Bernardi and Kathy MacMillan.  

Manuela is an author and screenwriter from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, has contributed to award-winning films and written for various TV channels, including TV Global, TBS, The History Channel, and Amazon Prime Video. Kathy MacMillan, a writer and nationally certified American Sign Language interpreter based in Baltimore, MD, is known for her picture books, children's nonfiction, and young adult fantasy novels. They will discuss their books, "She Spoke" and "She Spoke Too," highlighting the stories of 28 remarkable women who raised their voices and changed the world.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 03:29: Kathy shares the origin of the project, initiated by David Miles at Families Press, and the unique concept of combining a nonfiction picture book with an audio panel featuring the voices of women.
• 05:10: Manuela discusses the modification of the book's title to emphasize the challenges women face in being heard, changing it to "She Spoke: Supporting Women Who Raised Their Voices and Changed the World."
• 06:53: The duo discusses the evolution of the project and introduces the upcoming release, "She Spoke Too," featuring 28 inspiring women.
• 06:57: Christopher appreciates the diverse representation of women in the books, spanning artists, professional athletes, environmentalists, scientists, and social changers.
• 07:18: Manuela expresses her admiration for Shirley Chisholm, a woman she initially knew little about. Manuela details Chisholm's ground breaking run for president, where she garnered 10% of the votes in the primaries, breaking barriers for black women in politics. Chisholm's fiery spirit and her famous quote, "When they don't give you a place at the table, bring your chair," resonate with Manuela.
• 09:43: Kathy reflects on Patsy Takemoto Mink's role in the second book, "She Spoke Too," and her significant contributions, including being a driving force behind Title IX. Kathy emphasizes Mink's lifelong commitment to fighting for equality, from her high school days to her impactful career in Congress.
• 11:12: Manuela interjects, emphasizing that Shirley Chisholm and Patsy Takemoto Mink inspired them to include a crucial question in the book: Why do women do what they do? They point out that not all actions are driven solely by the desire to win; often, women strive for change and empowerment, even without securing victory.
• 14:57: Christopher highlights the powerful aspect of the books—being able to hear a 20 to 30-second clip of these women sharing inspiring words that moved nations, influenced laws, and made a positive impact on the world. He then asks for examples of more visible figures included in the books.
• 15:27: Kathy mentions well-known figures such as Malala Yousafzai, Hillary Clinton, Maya Angelou, Kamala Harris, Linda Ardern, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Greta Thunberg, and Dr. Mae Jemison. Manuela adds Maria Ressa, a journalist from the Philippines who recently won a Nobel Prize for fighting against misinformation.
• 16:51: Manuela shares her enjoyment in learning that many of these women, while intellectual and outspoken, embrace their feminine side without shame. She highlights examples like Mae Jemison's passion for dance and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's love for fashion.
• 18:42: Manuela mentions Leymah Gbowee from the first book, who used community and organization to bring women together to pray and stop a war. The importance of having a community and organization to amplify one's voice is emphasized in the book's prologue.
• 19:41: Kathy expresses the hope that the voices of these women become as familiar as those of well-known men. She shares the joy of seeing children reciting the clips and hopes the books appeal not only to the intended age range but to a broader audience, including younger children and older individuals.
• 22:29: Kathy mentions the "Your Turn to Speak Up" section with discussion questions designed for reflection. She is proud of these questions, as they encourage readers of all ages to relate the women's stories to their own experiences and consider their reactions in similar situations.
• 23:34: Christopher addresses the issue of women not being heard in patriarchal societies and asks what men can do to better appreciate women's contributions. Kathy suggests men should listen more, emphasizing that women's voices should be as familiar as men's.
• 26:20: Manuela emphasizes the importance of men recognizing women's experiences as valuable for their own enrichment and knowledge. She adds that men should see women as complete individuals and recognize their value beyond a relationship context.

 

Key Points:

1. Kathy and Manuela discuss the inspiration behind their books, "She Spoke" and "She Spoke Too," emphasizing the diverse backgrounds of the 28 women featured, spanning various fields, from politics to science.
2. The authors express their hope that the books will empower both girls and boys, encouraging them to speak out and make positive changes.
3. Kathy and Manuela suggest that men should listen more attentively, recognize women as complete individuals, and strive to understand and appreciate their experiences beyond predefined roles.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "Discover the hidden stories of extraordinary women, from astronauts to activists, in 'She Spoke' and 'She Spoke Too.’ Let their stories shape a more inclusive narrative.”
• "Empowerment knows no gender. Kathy and Manuela encourage all, young and old, to listen, learn, and amplify diverse voices.”
• "In the symphony of life, let's amplify the voices of women, as loud and clear as the familiar tunes. These books make history resonate for every generation.”

 

Resources Mentioned:

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://www.instagram.com/just.add.glitter/
• Podcast Editing
• https://kathymacmillan.com/
• https://brlab.com.br/en/participante/manuela-bernardi/

Transforming Relationships through Imperfect Love with Dr. Carla Manly

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Dr. Carla Marie Manly about love and the important relationships in our lives, including ourselves. Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing clinical psychologist and author based in Santa Rosa, CA. She focuses on a mindfulness-based holistic approach to help individuals achieve joy and balance from the inside out. She is the author of several books, including "Aging Joyfully," "Joy from Fear," "Date Smart," and an upcoming book on imperfect love and healthy relationships.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 02:26: Christopher reads excerpts from the book "The Joy of Imperfect Love" introduction, highlighting societal pressure for perfect love and the false promises of quick fixes, leading to unconscious stress.
• 04:45: Christopher poses a question to Dr. Manly about why she wrote the book and the significance of its message, inviting her insights into the societal emphasis on perfectionism.
• 06:45: Carla responds, sharing the inspiration behind the book from her experiences as a clinician, wife, and family member, addressing the negative impact of perfectionism on relationships.
• 08:23: Carla explains the stepwise approach in the book, emphasizing self-love and the potential for individuals to earn secure attachment, leading to reduced anxiety, decreased depression, and increased joy in interpersonal relationships.
• 09:10: Carla defines love as a divine quality, replete with unselfishness, kindness, and goodness. She emphasizes the ideal of love as a guiding force across various spiritual beliefs.
• 10:13: Carla elaborates on imperfect love, describing it as a human attempt to reach the state of pure love. It involves a continuous quest to improve, learn from mistakes, and take actions guided by awareness and intention.
• 13:36: Carla introduces false love, often mistaken for pure love. She notes its prevalence in new relationships where initial projections fade, and individuals realize the love was not genuine.
• 14:45: Carla delves into self-love, emphasizing the need for self-awareness. She contrasts self-love with selfishness and explains that loving oneself requires understanding strengths, weaknesses, and boundaries.
• 18:01: Carla provides a personal example of self-love, encouraging acceptance of perceived weaknesses, emphasizing the importance of making friends with one's vulnerabilities and strengths.
• 20:28: Carla emphasizes the importance of humility and awareness in personal growth, stating that the willingness to learn, accept coaching, and seek therapy contributes to creating self-wealth rather than hindering progress with defensiveness.
• 23:25: Christopher transitions to discussing the subtitle of Carla's book, focusing on the term "attachment." He seeks clarification on the concept of secure attachment in relationships.
• 25:20: Carla delves into the challenges of interpersonal relationships for those with insecure attachment styles, highlighting the difficulties faced by individuals with disorganized attachment due to the absence of a secure and consistent caregiving environment.
• 26:49: Carla discusses her training as a Jungian psychologist and her journey into attachment theory, expressing her fascination with observing attachment dynamics in her clients' lives. She notes how healing attachment styles can transform relationships, even when partners have different attachment styles.
• 28:46: Carla expresses optimism by highlighting the brain's neuroplasticity, explaining that with effort and a desire for change, individuals can absolutely transform. She appreciates the privilege of working with people who want to evolve and become better versions of themselves.
• 29:29: Carla underscores the importance of the desire to evolve, labelling it as the foundation of joy and perfect love. She notes that the journey involves continuous self-improvement and the willingness to work on various aspects of oneself.
• 31:35: Christopher shares his interpretation of the metaphor, comparing individuals to rough stones that accumulate nicks and scratches through life experiences.
• 32:03: Carla emphasizes the power of choice, highlighting that individuals can choose how to channel the energy inherited from their parents. encourages acknowledging the lack of control over past events but emphasizes the power of choosing wisely each day to shape a different future.

 

Key Points:

1. The conversation revolves around imperfect love, self-awareness, and the power of choice in fostering personal growth and positive relationships.
2. Carla explains attachment theory, emphasizing the impact of childhood attachment on adult relationships and the potential for earning secure attachment through self-awareness and self-work.
3. Dr. Carla stresses that acknowledging imperfections, embracing self-awareness, and choosing to evolve contribute to becoming a better individual, partner, parent, and community member.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "Embrace the privilege of continuous self-improvement in the realm of imperfect love." - Dr. Carla Manly
• "Acknowledge imperfections, embrace self-awareness, and choose to evolve every day in the journey of imperfect love." - Dr. Carla Manly
• "Love is a learnable skill. The transformative journey of self-discovery fosters resilience and emotional well-being." - Dr. Carla Manly

 

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://drcarlamanly.com/
• Podcast Editing

Library Love: A Heart-to-Heart with Head of Children’s Services Olivia Bruno

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Adina Oberman, talks to Olivia Bruno. Olivia is the head of children's services at her local library, which includes supervision of children's programming, children's librarians, the readers advisory program, and so much more. We're fortunate to have Olivia joining us today because February is the library lover’s month and she's the perfect person.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 1:29: Olivia shares her lifelong passion for libraries, having started volunteering at age 12 and progressing to become the Head of Children's Services.
• 2:50: Adina and Olivia discuss how families can make the most of their local library's resources and programs, emphasizing the importance of visiting the library, exploring calendars, and engaging with online platforms for event listings and book recommendations.
• 4:19: Olivia encourages families to ask questions, assuring that library staff are eager to help patrons discover resources and programs tailored to their needs.
• 6:55: Adina emphasizes the importance of being prepared in advance when visiting the library and asks Olivia about underutilized resources. Olivia mentions the Museum Pass Program, where patrons can check out passes to local museums for free, highlighting its educational and cost-saving benefits.
• 8:23: Olivia also discusses libraries offering free homework printing services for kids, addressing challenges faced by families without printers.
• 10:02: Olivia expresses her love for picture books and shares her initiative of showcasing picture books on social media to encourage people of all ages to enjoy them.
• 11:07: Adina commends Olivia's thoughtful curation of book content on social media, particularly noting the interesting and fun nonfiction titles. Olivia mentions "Strictly No Elephants" by Lisa Mantchev as a moving book promoting kindness and inclusivity.
• 13:14: Olivia also recommends books by Tom Percival for addressing social and emotional health in an accessible manner and discuss the importance of picture books in conveying social-emotional learning to young children.
• 14:38: Adina then inquiries about Olivia's favorite books about books or libraries, referencing "So You Want to Build a Library." Olivia shares her love for "The Book Hog" by Greg Pizzoli, a touching story about a character who hoards books until discovering the joy of reading at the library.
• 16:33: Olivia emphasizes the importance of doing things together at the library and participating in events, such as story times. She encourages caregivers to bring their children even if they may not seem interested at first, underlining the value of the shared experience for child development and caregiver-child relationships.
• 17:23: Olivia refers to a study from the '90s about the positive impacts of families eating meals together, stating that shared activities, even seemingly simple ones, contribute significantly to family happiness.

 

Key Points:

1. Families should actively engage with their local library, exploring programs and resources offered.
2. Picture books play a vital role in teaching social-emotional skills, with recommended titles including "Chrysanthemum" and "Strictly No Elephants."
3. Quality family time, such as eating together, has significant positive impacts on well-being and should be prioritized.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "I think picture books are just the purest, most wonderful form of art that exists." - Olivia
• "The simple act of being together, being with other caregivers and children, is so valuable to their development and the caregiver-child relationship." - Olivia
• "Come to the library, do things together. If you want to make the library part of that, come to our events, come to Storytime. The act of being together is so valuable to them and their development." - Olivia

 

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://www.instagram.com/just.add.glitter/
• Podcast Editing

• https://www.instagram.com/oliviathelibrarian/?hl=en

Love in Action: Implementing the Two-Minute Secret for a Happy Marriage with Heidi Poelman

The Two Minute Secret To Staying in Love, 12/08/2023

 

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Heidi Poelman. Heidi is an author of books such as "Women in Science Who Changed the World.” She holds degrees in communication from Brigham Young University and Wake Forest University, and has dedicated her time to writing, serving with a non-profit in Africa, and managing vacation rentals.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 02:00: Christopher introduces Heidi's book, "The Two-Minute Secret for Staying in Love," and discusses the honeymoon stage in relationships. Heidi elaborates on the initial chemistry in relationships, mentioning that researchers suggest this phase lasts about two years.
• 03:24: Christopher addresses the challenges in marriages and divorces, leading to a discussion on researcher John Gottman's insights. Heidi talks about bids for attention and their significance in predicting the success of a relationship.
• 06:02: Heidi introduces the concept of a "space between" in relationships, where actions either create connections or remove them.
• 7:20: Heidi outlines three areas for intentional skills and habits for building strong relationships: thoughts, words, and deeds. She emphasizes the power of positive thoughts about one's spouse, providing an example of giving the benefit of the doubt in thoughts.
• 8:50: Heidi discusses the impact of words in relationships, emphasizing the need for positivity. Christopher and Heidi explore the importance of balancing necessary dialogues with positive affirmations in words.
• 10:05: Christopher and Heidi discuss the positive impact of kind thoughts leading to kind words and actions. They emphasize the ease and effectiveness of expressing affection through simple acts like sending a text.
• 12:11: Christopher connects the concept of the two-minute secret to building a strong foundation in a relationship over time through repeated, conscious efforts.
• 13:38: Heidi highlights the importance of validation, quick forgiveness, and timely apologies in managing conflicts. She shares a personal experience of using the technique of summarizing each other's perspectives during an argument to enhance understanding and problem-solving.
• 14:51: Christopher and Heidi discuss the misconception of trying to "win" in a relationship and emphasize the importance of prioritizing the relationship over individual victories.
• 16:19: Heidi talks about not sweating the small stuff in relationships and shares the importance of finding humour in minor inconveniences. She suggests embracing imperfections, laughing about them, and creating a culture of kindness and service.
• 18:17: Heidi suggests asking your partner, "How do you feel loved?" as a powerful way to understand their unique needs and preferences.

 

Key Points:

1. Two-Minute secret for staying in love concept involves small, intentional actions in thoughts, words, and deeds, emphasizing the importance of conscious effort in relationships.
2. Acknowledging and engaging with your partner's attempts to connect can contribute to a healthier relationship.
3. Focusing on positive thoughts about your partner, using kind words, and performing thoughtful actions are foundational elements for maintaining a strong and lasting connection.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "In marriage, if you win, you lose. We shouldn't be trying to make our point to prove why we're right. We should be saying I'm going to let the relationship win." - Heidi Pullman
• "A powerful thing we can do is ask our spouse, 'How do you feel loved?' Having a culture of asking questions and seeking to understand each other is pretty powerful." - Heidi Pullman
• "Conscious, repeated effort over time makes a difference. It's not meant to say that being in love is easy, but that conscious effort over time can create a positive impact." - Heidi Pullman

 

Resources Mentioned:

• https://www.heidipoelman.com/

Books as Mirrors and Windows: The Power of Positive Representation with Christal Manders

On today's episode, host Dr. Carla Marie Manley, a clinical psychologist and author from Sonoma County, California, talks to Christal Manders a librarian and reading intervention specialist. Christal discusses how libraries and books offer exposure to new ideas, lifestyles, and the essence of a fulfilling life. She says Books are lauded for their role in broadening perspectives and fostering growth, compassion, and curiosity.

Episode Highlights:

• 01:10 Christal believes her identity is shaped by her supportive network of family and friends, which helps her be her best self.
• 03:46 Christal shares her fondness for nonfiction, drawing insights from historical accounts to improve current living and understanding.
• 04:49 Christal emphasizes the importance of seeing oneself in books from an early age, using texts as a mirror for self and others.
• 05:20 Christal describes her approach to finding the right book for someone, considering their interests and reading non-verbal cues like body language. She explains how she observes children's body language to understand their emotions and needs, choosing books that can support or uplift them.
• 07:43 Christal further elaborates on the importance of educators being attuned to their students' non-verbal communication to shape their day positively.
• 08:24 Christal discusses transitioning from classroom teaching to focusing on her role as a reading intervention specialist during the pandemic. She expresses her passion for getting kids excited about reading and seeing their potential through literature.
• 09:28 Carla queries about the impact of Christal's work on the family system of which Christal emphasizes the collaborative triangle of education, involving the educator, student, and family, and the importance of open communication in this dynamic.
• 11:20 Carla celebrates the potential for transformative experiences through reading and inquiries about Christal's book selection process for the library and classrooms.
• 12:09 Christal believes in the power of knowledge to combat fear and promote a better world through positive representation of different life experiences. She encourages continued reading and exploration for both children and adults.

 

Key Points:

1. Christal emphasizes that libraries play a crucial role in exposing individuals to new ideas and lifestyles, which can lead to personal growth, compassion, and curiosity.
2. As a reading intervention specialist, Christal focuses on igniting a passion for reading in children.
3. Christal underscores the importance of a collaborative educational triangle consisting of educators, students, and families, facilitating open communication and combined efforts towards educational goals.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

• "A book is a mirror and window rolled into one, reflecting who we are and revealing the endless possibilities of who we can become." - Christal
• "Nonfiction isn't just facts; it's a treasure trove of historical insights that help us navigate the present and envision a better future.”- Christal
• "Libraries aren't just about books; they're gateways to new worlds, offering a tapestry of ideas that can broaden minds and enrich lives." - Christal

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://www.instagram.com/just.add.glitter/
• Podcast Editing

 

The Power of Pause: Mindfulness and Gratitude with Rachel Garahan

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Rachel Grahan about mindfulness for the new Year.

Rachel is an author and personal growth facilitator and through her brand, Rachel provides unique self-discovery tools, offering guided journals, meditations, online courses, and in-person workshops. Her approach helps individuals find clarity and inner answers. Rachel is also the author of "Nine Months of Wonder," a guide for expectant mothers.

 

Episode Highlights:

• 02:00 Rachel simplifies mindfulness as an "observant pause", emphasizing waking up to the present moment to fully appreciate it. She talks about her brand, tools for self-awareness, and mentions her free email course called "attuned".
• 03:03 Rachel dives deeper into self-awareness, discussing the significance of recognizing feelings, judgments, and emotions. She highlights the importance of understanding the underlying message of every emotion.
• 04:33 Mindfulness is about pausing to reflect on experiences and emotions to derive learnings from them, says Christopher. He emphasizes that it's about understanding what can be learned from current experiences.
• 05:09 Rachel introduces her four guiding words: Pause, Listen, Act, Become and describes how pausing allows for listening and understanding, leading to informed actions and eventually becoming a truer version of oneself.
• 06:23 Rachel asks reflective questions about addressing feelings of resentment and disappointment, urging one to understand their roots and find ways to feel better. She also talks about different emotions like frustration, annoyance, happiness, and excitement as pieces of information that guide our actions.
• 08:00 Christopher reflects on the broader context on a conflict in the car where his one daughter reacts strongly, and he reprimands her and asks Rachel for advice on how he could have better connected and responded in the situation.
• 09:35 Rachel touches on the influence of our upbringing and the need to reassess whether certain beliefs still hold true in the present day.
• 10:50 Christopher discusses the connection between mindfulness and gratitude, asking Rachel for her perspective on how the two concepts relate to each other.
• 11:28 Rachel reflects on her early 20s when she was more focused on the negatives and the things she didn't have and talks about the framework she created to identify which parts of her life needed improvement for her to be happier.
• 12:54 Rachel emphasizes the importance of being mindful of the present and finding gratitude in current moments. She shares personal examples of things she's grateful for, from pomegranate season to a new shampoo she loves.
• 14:19 Rachel describes the guided questions in her journal that help identify what her soul is craving and elaborates on how the journal informs her of areas in her life that need attention.
• 15:45 In the current societal context, with prevailing negativity, Christopher emphasizes the importance of practicing gratitude daily. He believes that gratitude can make a positive impact not only on an individual but also on the family, society, and the world.
• 16:13 Rachel introduces the tagline of "vessel," emphasizing the concept of a gratitude journal to "fill your own cup." She also stresses the importance of individuals recognizing and appreciating the abundance in their lives without waiting for external events or circumstances.
• 17:16 Rachel discusses her books: "Beauty Collected" which offers a means to connect with children through mindfulness, and "Nine Months of Wonder" centred around mindfulness during pregnancy.
• 18:05 Rachel suggests that even a single moment of pause and deep breath during the day can lead to a significant increase in awareness.

 

Key Points:

1. Rachel promotes mindfulness as an "observant pause" and provides tools for self-discovery.
2. The discussion highlights the link between mindfulness and gratitude, with Rachel introducing her gratitude journal, "vessel."
3. Rachel's books emphasize mindfulness with children and during pregnancy, underscoring the power of momentary awareness.

 

Tweetable Quotes

• "Mindfulness is simply an 'observant pause', waking up to fully appreciate the present." - Rachel
• "Gratitude is about recognizing the abundance in our lives without waiting for external events." - Rachel
• "Pause, Listen, Act, Become - four guiding words to lead us to our true selves." - Rachel
• "Even a single moment of pause can be a quantum leap in awareness." – Rachel

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelgarahan/
• Podcast Editing

Pen and Paper Therapy: Finding Healing Through Journaling with Mary Potter Kenyon

On this episode of the "Helping Families be Happy Podcast," host, Christopher Robbins husband and father of nine, residing in the Central Valley of California talks to Mary Potter Kenyon. She holds a BA in psychology from the University of Northern Iowa and is a therapeutic art coach and certified grief counselor trained under renowned grief expert David Kessler. Mary is also an author of six books, including "Expressive Writing for Healing," "Refined by Fire," and "Called to Be Creative." She conducts workshops on creativity, finding hope and healing in grief, and expressive writing.

 

Episode Highlights

• 01:56: Mary started journaling after her first husband passed away in March 2012 and has filled over 20 journals since then.
• 02:31: Christopher expresses curiosity about the significance of journaling, especially for those who may have started journaling as children with entries like "Dear Diary." He asks Mary to share the science behind journaling, its importance for personal development, and ways to develop the habit.
• 02:43: Mary reminisces about having a little diary with a lock and key when she was 12 but mentions that she got rid of it as she grew up.
• 02:58: Mary mentions the concept of expressive writing for healing, which is not about passing something down but rather a tool for personal healing.
• 04:42: The discussion highlights the therapeutic benefits of journaling and how it has been found to be effective in numerous studies and scenarios, making it a valuable tool for individuals facing a range of challenges and emotions.
• 06:05: Mary addresses common hurdles that people face when starting a journaling practice and she advices on how to begin and what to write about.
• 08:59: Journaling might not be a daily practice for everyone. It's okay to journal on weekends, once a week, or even less frequently, as long as it fits into your routine and serves as a beneficial outlet for your thoughts and emotions.
• 10:45: Christopher discusses the various journaling methods he has tried, from hardcover lined journals to leather-bound art paper journals to simple composition notebooks.
• 11:41: Christopher and Mary discusses whether using technology for journaling is a good or bad thing and explores the convenience and potential drawbacks of digital journaling apps.
• 13:19: Some people may prefer typing due to comfort or practical reasons, such as arthritis or illegible handwriting. Mary acknowledges that digital journaling can be a valid and accessible option.
• 15:02: Mary discusses the therapeutic and reflective benefits of journaling, even during periods of joy and contentment in life. 
• 17:22: Mary discusses the value of reading and preserving personal journals for future generations.
• 18:06: Mary shares her own experience of reading her mother's letters from the 1960s, which offer a glimpse into her mother's life as a mother raising ten children. She highlights how journals and letters can reveal a person's growth, struggles, and the different facets of their life beyond their roles as parents.
• 19:36: Mary and encourages listeners to consider starting their own journaling practice in the coming year, emphasizing that journaling is a low-cost and accessible way to document their experiences and emotions.

3 Key Points

1. Mary encourages the idea that journaling should be a freeing and expressive practice that suits your unique style and preferences. The key is to make it a personal space where you can process your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without worrying about judgment or rules.
2. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to journaling. It's about finding the time and style that work best for you and making it a meaningful and consistent practice in your life.
3. Mary and Christopher underscores the therapeutic and historical significance of journaling as a tool for personal growth and self-reflection.

Tweetable Quotes

• “Journaling is not a new practice it is historical documents that often exist because people kept journals or diaries. It's a way of preserving history.” – Mary
• “There are no rules in journaling. You don't have to worry about neat handwriting, perfect spelling, or adhering to specific guidelines. It's a personal space for your thoughts and feelings, and it's okay if it's messy.” – Mary
• Journaling can help individuals process their thoughts and emotions, whether they are going through difficult times or experiencing moments of gratitude and growth.” - Mary

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• Podcast Editing