Helping Families Be Happy
 

Helping Families Be Happy

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With help from guest authors, experts, and community and business leaders, the Familius Helping Families Be Happy podcast explores topics and issues that connect families to the nine habits of a happy family: love, play, learn, work, talk, heal, read, eat, and laugh together.

Episodes

The Power of Art and Healing with Robin Hall

Wednesday Jul 26, 2023

Wednesday Jul 26, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist, wellness advocate, and author based in Sonoma County, California is going to talk to Robin Hall. She has written a book called "The Littlest Weaver." Robin describes herself as someone who enjoys creating and has a variety of creative outlets such as writing, quilting, and basket making. 

 

Episode Highlights:

  • 02:39: Carla asks Robin about her basket weaving skills. Robin explains that she started weaving baskets in 2016 when she took a class at the Community Center with a kind woman named Susan. 
  • 04:00: Robin discusses her favorite color, green, and her experience living in a less green environment.
  • 04:18: Carla asks about the connection between green and Robin's book, "The Loose Weaver.
  • 05:10: Robin explains how the Tohoku tsunami and earthquake in Japan inspired her to write the story of a man who moved away from the sea to heal.
  • 06:30: Robin shares details of her book, "The Littlest Weaver," and displays a spread with beautiful illustrations of the Appalachian area.
  • 07:49: Carla discusses the 10 habits of happy families and asks how Robin's book fits into those habits.
  • 08:23: Robin emphasizes on the themes of healing, small acts of kindness, and the power of art in her book.
  • 09:31: Robin shares how she hopes her book will inspire families to create together and plans to create videos demonstrating weaving techniques.
  • 12:02: Robin envisions her book as a source of joy and recognition of sadness, helping families move towards joy and unity while appreciating each other's presence.
  • 13:00: Robin expresses the desire for carpets that children can create themselves, introducing the idea of a coloring page for creating their own carpets.
  • 13:19: Carla admits the fear of acknowledging grief and emphasizes the importance of experiencing joy during the grieving process. They mention that joy and grief can coexist and that moments of joy can be found even while mourning.
  • 14:18: Carla mentions that grief can extend beyond the loss of a human being, including the loss of pets or relationships.
  • 16:15: Robin highlights the significance of persistence and following one's passion in any field or role.



3 Key Points:

  1. Robin briefly introduces her book and reads a short passage from the introduction.
  2. Carla discusses the connection between creativity and healing and asks about the potential use of the book for families in need of healing.
  3. Robin discovered the story of 'The Little Sweeper' after the Tohoku tsunami and earthquake in Japan in 2011, a tragic event that touched the lives of many.



Tweetable Quotes:

  • "Taking pottery courses and engaging in repetitive activities like knitting calms me down and bring me joy." - Robin Hall
  • "I love exploring different patterns and tools in pottery, it's a soothing and creative process." - Robin Hall
  • "Creating baskets and other handmade items has become my passion, filling my basement with a variety of beautiful creations." - Robin Hall
  • "I absolutely adore the color green; it's my favorite color and I find it incredibly soothing." - Robin Hall
  • "Living in a green environment is essential to me, as I felt a bit out of place in the dry, desert-like surroundings of 29 Palms." - Robin Hall
  • "The book highlights the resilience and courage of a father who returns to his devastated home, showcasing the strength of the human spirit." - Robin Hall



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Unleashing Happiness through Flexibility and Lifelong Learning with Louise Sattler

Wednesday Jul 19, 2023

Wednesday Jul 19, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist, wellness advocate, and author based in Sonoma County, California is going to talk to Louise Sattler, a content creator dedicated to spreading fun and joy for families and children, particularly those with special needs and talents. 

 

Episode Highlights:

  • 01:22 - Louise compares herself to Gumby, emphasizing her flexibility, curiosity, and constant learning. She mentions her belief in being a lifelong learner and her generous nature.
  • 04:12 - Carla acknowledges the beautiful charts and resources provided by Louise including sign expressions in English and Spanish, as well as important words and a bookmark. 
  • 08:02: Carla and Louise discuss the importance of communication cards for first responders, parents, and kids.
  • 08:58: Carla mentions the foundational values of healthy families and asks how Louise's work contributes to family happiness.
  • 09:28: Louise acknowledges that their work as a psychologist is not always about delivering happy news, as they often have to inform parents about difficulties their children may be facing, such as autism. However, Louise finds satisfaction in providing parents with resources, connections, and support during challenging times.
  • 10:57: Louise expresses how providing solace to parents going through difficult times brings them comfort. She mentions her personal experience as both a parent and a professional, highlighting the challenges she faced with her own child's reading difficulties.
  • 11:35: Carla commends Louise for naturally addressing the silver lining in their work, which involves providing tools and resources to families. 
  • 12:22: Louise emphasizes the importance of teamwork and collaboration in supporting families and children. She mentions relying on a team of experts and professionals to provide comprehensive support for parents and children going through challenges.
  • 14:08: Louise suggests referring to children with special needs as having "unique challenges" or "unique talents" instead of disabilities. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating the different lenses through which individuals perceive the world.
  • 14:32 - Carla shares a personal anecdote about their sister with Marfan syndrome, highlighting her exceptional intelligence, creativity, and stamina. She emphasizes the value of focusing on individuals' unique talents and what they bring to the world.
  • 15:22: Louise discusses the importance of resilience and acknowledges the grieving process that parents may go through when their expectations for parenting differ from their reality. She emphasizes the need for professionals to understand and support parents during this process.
  • 16:01: Louise encourages professionals to acknowledge and support parents through the grieving process that may arise from having a child with special needs.
  • 17:03: Resilience is not about being Teflon or unaffected by challenges but rather accepting the circumstances and finding a way to move forward.
  • 18:47: Having realistic expectations is important; Louise mentions how some people struggle with small everyday challenges, hindering their resilience.
  • 19:23: Louise shares an example of someone becoming overly upset about getting the wrong shopping cart, emphasizing the need to move on from small inconveniences.
  • 22:39: The learning tools, the literacy levels, and the care that is taken towards early young child literacy as well as the young adults, there are so many great books.
  • 23:11: There are so many great books for parents and grandparents. As per Louise, a good book is one that she reads, and she is willing to stay past her bedtime to still be reading on the adult level.



3 Key Points:

  1. Louise talks about her dedication to supporting children with disabilities and unique challenges, emphasizing the importance of seeing the world through different lenses and being inclusive.
  2. Louise highlights the importance of pulling oneself up and moving forward with grace and dignity, without dwelling on the past.
  3. Louise loves reviewing books, puzzles, games and traveling. She talks about picking out authors writing these children's books on levels that are very interesting to both parents and child.



Tweetable Quotes:

  • "Resilience is not about being Teflon; it's about accepting what life throws at you and finding the strength to move forward." - Louise
  • "Support from others can be the fuel that helps us build resilience in the face of challenges." - Louise
  • "Sometimes the smallest things can feel monumental, hindering our ability to bounce back. Realistic expectations are key to fostering resilience." - Louise
  • "Don't let minor inconveniences become volcanic eruptions. Keep your focus on what truly matters." - Louise
  • "Resilience is not about avoiding pain; it's about facing it with grace and dignity and finding the courage to move forward." – Louise
  • "There are a lot of books that I think are great for professionals as well, on topics like ADHD and autism." - Louise



Resources Mentioned

 

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The Impact of Smart Phones on Kids: A Conversation with Jessica Speer

Wednesday Jul 12, 2023

Wednesday Jul 12, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, is going to talk to Jessica Speer. She is an award-winning author known for her book "BFF or NRF? Not really friends: A Girl's Guide to Happy Friendships." Her books incorporate interactive elements and tackle social-emotional topics for preteens and teens. Jessica also has a forthcoming book called "The Phone: Stay Safe, be Smart and Make the World Better with That Powerful Device in Your Hand." 

 

Episode Highlights:

  • 02:24: Christopher Robbins mentions his wife, who is a teacher. He explains that when she enters the classroom, all the kids have their phones with earbuds in. She is unsure whether they are paying attention, playing games, watching videos, etc.
  • 02: Jessica shares that she started writing the book when her kids were preteens. She enjoys researching and exploring the experiences of kids and adolescents. Phones and technology have become prominent aspect of their lives.
  • 03:50: Jessica focuses on writing directly to kids because she believes they are intelligent and prefer information in their language.
  • 04:05: Jessica discusses the lack of clear guidelines and the need for families to navigate the challenges of introducing smartphones to children.
  • 04:33: Christopher shares their family's rule of not getting a phone until college but acknowledges the current frustration of their son.
  • 05:10: Jessica talks about the importance of self-control, maturity, and understanding how children use phones differently.
  • 05:36: Jessica expresses surprise at the extent of what is still unknown about the impact of phones on kids. She mentions the recent advisory from the US Surgeon General regarding social media and mental health.
  • 07:25: Jessica emphasizes the need for more research, guidelines, and support for families in navigating this challenge. She suggests open conversations, staying informed, and making rules that align with the family's values.
  • 09:05: Jessica recommends taking time to think, considering the child's developmental stage and safety, and exploring alternative options like simplified communication devices.
  • 09:53: Jessica encourages open conversations with children and emphasizes the importance of understanding their desires and concerns. She suggests discussing the available choices and incorporating knowledge about risks and safety.
  • 10:01: Consider different options based on what the child truly wants and conclude by emphasizing the importance of ongoing dialogue and staying informed.
  • 10:39: Jessica highlights the importance of ongoing dialogue and honest conversations with children regarding smartphones and their impact.
  • 11:45: Christopher expresses interest in how the book helps navigate the issue of distinguishing truth from fiction online.
  • 13:53: Jessica mentions sites like factchecker.com and discusses the importance of teaching kids how to identify reliable information.
  • 14:18: Jessica emphasizes the need to educate kids about false information for profit.
  • 14:57: Jessica introduces the topic of algorithms and their influence on information consumption, mentioning how they can lead to rabbit holes and addictive content.
  • 16:01: Kids should be aware of how algorithms work and be proactive in choosing positive content to counteract the negative impact of rabbit holes.
  • 16:39: Jessica shares a study called "Change Your Feed" which explores how kids can modify their algorithmic experience by deliberately choosing different content.
  • 17:15: Christopher recalls his experience with early texting and learning the meaning of "LOL."
  • 17:44: Christopher asks about slang terms used in text messaging and the chapter dedicated to text slang in the book.
  • 20:25: Jessica emphasizes the power children have in using technology as a force for good and making the world a better place.

 

 

3 Key Highlights

  1. Jessica shares how she decided to write a book that speaks directly to kids and also highlights the deeper, darker side of technology that we kind of learn over time.
  2. Jessica highlights the ongoing lack of conclusive evidence regarding phones and the differences in guidelines and laws across countries.
  3. Jessica explains the concept of FOMO (fear of missing out) and FOJI (fear of joining in) and how they can affect teenagers in the digital realm.

 

 

Tweetable Quotes

  • "Kids are so smart and really like to hear this information directly, so I thought I'm going to try to write a book that speaks directly to them, kind of in their language." - Jessica
  • "Phones offer awesome positive stuff, but we also need to address the deeper, darker side of technology that we learn over time." - Jessica
  • "During the pandemic, as we got sucked into our phones, it was the perfect time for me to research and understand the evolving landscape of kids and technology." – Jessica
  • "Teenagers can potentially manipulate algorithms for fun and amusement." - Christopher

 

 

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Navigating Divorce and Co-Parenting with Purpose with Paul Mandelstein

Wednesday Jul 05, 2023

Wednesday Jul 05, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, is going to talk to Paul Mandelstein. He is a pioneer in personal communication technologies and has been involved in publishing books related to family planning, comparative religion, and community lifestyle. He has also published reference books on emerging telecommunications technologies and is known for publishing the first "Dummies" guide. Additionally, Paul has authored illustrated folk tales focused on equality, freedom, and personal empowerment. As a divorced father with four children and four grandchildren, Paul brings his expertise to discuss the challenging role of being a dad after a divorce.

 

Episode Highlights:

  • 02:02: Christopher shares his personal experience of his parent's divorce when he was five years old and acknowledges that he may not have fully understood the challenges his father faced in maintaining a relationship with him due to the distance between them. 
  • 02:23: Christopher mentions that Paul has written a book titled "The World's Best Dad During and After a Divorce: A Guide to Co-parenting for Divorced Dads," published by Families. Christopher asks Paul about the genesis of the book and why this topic is important to him.
  • 03:33: Paul explains that when he visited bookstores and found a wall of information for women but nothing for men regarding divorce and fatherhood.
  • 06:03: Paul talks about the early stages of separation and divorce, there is often anger, hurt, and negative emotions. He introduces 10 basic rules, starting with the importance of being nice, which may sound simple but can be challenging given the circumstances. 
  • 06:30: Paul also introduces the concept of the "24-hour rule," where hot-button issues are addressed after taking a pause and considering the decision instead of immediately agreeing to avoid stress.
  • 08:06, Paul introduces the concept of taking 24 hours before making hot-button decisions. He advises giving oneself time to think and reflect on the choices that will shape the future.
  • 10:06, Paul discusses the practice of meditation, suggesting that sitting down for a few minutes and allowing thoughts to arise without attaching to them can be beneficial. He emphasizes the importance of establishing clear boundaries with the ex-spouse.
  • 13:20, Paul mentions the importance of open-hearted listening, allowing the other person to express their complaints without feeling the need to defend oneself. This approach can foster better communication and potentially lead to resolution.
  • 15:46, Paul emphasizes the importance of consistently being there for the children, even if the frequency of visits may be less frequent due to the divorce. By maintaining a consistent presence, children can feel a sense of stability and security. 
  • 16:48: Paul highlights the significance of holidays and events in the context of divorce and remarriage. He explains that children may have multiple parents and extended family members to consider during these occasions, which can lead to complexities in scheduling and participation.
  • 17:29, Paul advises not to overly stress about the smaller details and to focus on the bigger issues, such as legal custody and maintaining a positive relationship with the children and the ex-spouse.
  • 18:52: Paul talks about the importance of integrity, keeping promises, and being a reliable presence in the children's lives.

 

3 Key Highlights

  1. Paul shares that he came up with some rules regarding divorce and co-parenting. One of the main focuses is ending the conflict between spouses. He notes that while the book is primarily for men, it can also apply to women.
  2. Being mindful and finding ways to agree, even if it's unfamiliar, can contribute to a cooperative atmosphere. Paul reminds fathers to prioritize being the best father they can be and to put their children's well-being first, even when dealing with personal hurt and anger.
  3. Paul emphasizes the importance of recognizing and appreciating the significant amount of work and effort that goes into parenting, particularly when it comes to daily tasks like taking children to school, preparing meals, attending sports and activities, etc.



Tweetable Quotes

  • "Whether you're with your kids every day or across the country due to divorce, your input still matters." - Paul Mangosteen 
  • "I believe that the family is extended, even in divorce. It's about continuing the relationship and building a new extended family." - Paul Mandelstein
  • "Collaboration with the ex-spouse is the key to successful co-parenting after divorce. It's the only way to build a positive and supportive environment for your children." - Paul Mandelstein
  • "Fathers play a vital role in a child's life, no matter the circumstances. Their presence and influence matter, whether near or far." - Paul Mandelstein
  • "Positive collaborative divorce or co-parenting requires embracing cooperation, open communication, and putting the well-being of the children first." - Paul Mandelstein



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How to Survive as a Parent (There’s a Hack for That) with Kate Bast

Wednesday Jun 28, 2023

Wednesday Jun 28, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, is going to talk to Kate Bast. She is a TikTok content creator, who now lives in California with her husband and toddler. Kate brings to life some of the best parent hacks and many activities as she navigates the wild ride of parenting. Kate is the author of The Familius Book 115 Hacks and Hactivities for Parents. The book was released spring of 2023, and today we are exploring how to help survive as parents.



Episode Highlights:

  • 01:31: As per Christopher, it is wonderful to have an expert in managing and working with our many humans.
  • 01:39: Kate has almost a million followers online, where she helps them to simplify the day, make it more fun, make it more organized, and many different things.
  • 02:03: Kate shares her ordeal as a new mom and how she started documenting ways to make parents' days easier.
  • 02:55: Kate talks about Ice Castle painting, where you take a sandcastle mold, fill it with water, put in your freezer and then when you need 20-30 minutes of a little bit of peace, and you give some paint and paint branches and kids paint the ice castle.
  • 05:07: Kate has nine children and has explored the toddler years multiple times.
  • 05:37: Kate shares how kids always gravitate to the things you wouldn't expect them to.
  • 06:09: Kate shares how they use wipes to play little games with the kids. 
  • 07:37: Kate says you need little hacks in your back pocket which you can pull out when necessary.
  • 08:07: As per Kate we are right around the corner from lots and lots of beach days is there are a few things you can do to make a beach day go better because these days can either go one or two ways.
  • 10:23: If you have baby powder and you take that baby powder and you shake it on your feet, all the water dries up.
  • 13:25: A lot that Kate is seeing on the Internet is talked about on social media, and there is a big gap with the support needed too, for those other years. 
  • 15:23: It seems very extra to do all these things, that actually can make your day so much easier, says Kate.




3 Key Highlights

  1. Kate shares different kinds of creative games that one can give their child to play.
  2. Kate shares some favorite hacks that can help parents make their day go a little smoother.
  3. As a parent have a positive attitude. Travel a lot with your kids and try to be really positive, says Kate.



Tweetable Quotes

  • "I was at home with a six-month-old at the very beginning of the pandemic and we were struggling to get through the day." – Kate
  • "If you keep your pots and pans at the bottom level, then they can spend all day playing with those pots and pans." - Kate
  • "We would go to the beach no matter what happens, you get that sand on your feet and on your ankles as you're walking back to the car. Even after you have rinsed off, you still get back the car, and you have sand on you." - Kate
  • "A little bit of preparation goes a long way in helping everybody's day in the house go better." - Christopher



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Adventures Big and Small with Leah Day

Wednesday Jun 21, 2023

Wednesday Jun 21, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, is going to talk to Leah Day. She has worked as a clinical social worker for over 25 years. She has helped 1000 individuals and families in a variety of settings and parent support groups on extended wilderness expeditions for youth at risk and in private practice.



Episode Highlights:

  • 00:49: Recently Leah had chosen to switch careers, and in May of 2021 She opened the lighthouse bikes.
  • 01:12: Leah and her husband are the parents of four children and when she has free time, you can often find her hiking mountains, cross country, skiing, skating, or canoeing with some variation of this pack accompanied by their two dogs at home.
  • 01:32: Leah and her husband have always believed that the outdoors and adventure, as well as connecting with others in the global community, can have life-altering effects on people for bicycle rides across the United States.
  • 01:58: Leah has logged over 10,000 miles touring and feels this may be just the beginning. She has written for Adventure Cycling magazine, spoken on several podcasts, appeared on NPR's Marketplace, kept a running blog called Bike Mum with over 68,000 views, and written a book called Changing Gears all, focusing on the importance of adventure.
  • 03:30: Leah talks about the book that she wrote, called Changing Gears, which tells the story of her desire to connect with her son. 
  • 05:38: While talking about teenage kids, Leah shares her best approach to managing them.
  • 05:55: Leah wanted his son to do something he could feel really proud of. He wanted him to be able to brag a little bit and say, "I did this, and I feel really good about it."
  • 06:47: It's hard to get teenagers to agree to anything, Leah shares her experience and how she convinced him to take up biking.
  • 07:18: Leah's son relished the opportunity to get out of school for three months and to see the world for three months and not to sort of wear the same pace to the school doors every day, which was becoming difficult for him.
  • 09:06: Leah talks about the moments in the road when she really needed Oakley. That really changed their relationship in a pivotal way.
  • 11:07: One of the beauties of being out there for so long is there is nothing else to do, says Leah.
  • 13:00: When Leah finished the biking adventure, he promised that he would go on an adventure once a year for five years, not like months long, but at least for a week or two.
  • 14:26: Leah writes about big adventures and little adventures often related to just people, so they are not just adventure stories. They are sort of introspective about how adventure affects me and the people around me, so that's called bike mom.




3 Key Highlights

  1. Leah shares how her son's confidence sort of had a lot of hard knocks because when you are constantly not quite meeting the standard, it's hard for you.
  2. Leah shares how she motivated her son to go on a biking trip and how the trip changed their relationship in a positive way.
  3. As teenagers, kids really need to be proud of themselves. And today there are just constant comparisons and social media makes it so intense. They can see a million people doing a million things and it's easy for teenagers, to opt-out and to just not get as engaged in things because somebody else is already doing it.




Tweetable Quotes

  • "Leah loves sharing her love of cycling with others. She finds it great fun to help others discover the world around them, as well as the world inside them." - Christopher
  • "If I did something short term, it wouldn't stir up the pot as much as it needed to be stirred up." - Leah
  • "I would read to him for a while, and then we both had our own books, so we would read together." - Leah
  • "We read Winter People, which is about the native people of Maine." - Leah




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Ensuring a Bright Future through Quality Childcare with Ofelia Gonzales

Wednesday Jun 14, 2023

Wednesday Jun 14, 2023

In today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Ofelia Gonzales, a wife, mother of three children, lover of life, family people and communicator by heart. She joined the team of the local community-based organization Children Services Network, CSN in 2002 as a community organizer, where she focused on grassroots organizing campaigns and efforts to empower families in low-income communities and provide children with school readiness opportunities. Ofelia finds great pleasure in building connections, linking families to services that help meet everyday needs, and representing an organization that focuses on assisting parents to raise happy, healthy children. Today they will discuss quality childcare, the information that aligns with its familiar habits like learn together, love together, give together and read together.

 

Episode Highlights:

  • 02:24: As per Ofelia at Central Valley Children's Services Network, their mission is to improve the quality of care for children of the Central Valley, but it's a principle that goes everywhere.
  • 03:07: Even if the child is possibly not in a childcare center, maybe they're in a licensed care home or with relatives or neighbors, we want to know what type of care our child is receiving, says Ofelia.
  • 04:34: When we speak quality childcare, we want to go above and beyond. We want to make sure that there are programs that are really tying into helping the child transition into the early care and education to them, says Ofelia.
  • 05:15: As per Christopher milestones development and milestones help are a few terms, help us understand what some of those might be.
  • 05:54: When we say children learn through play, they absolutely do. Sing the song of colors with them, show them a picture book of animals, and they will learn what animals are.
  • 01: Early literacy is a tremendous component of the longest programs that we've had here at Children Services network, because not only are we modeling early literacy, but we are modeling positive parent-child interaction, says Ofelia.
  • 08:56: What certifications do you have, have you done any training, what are the discipline policies, these are the things that oftentimes providers don't have to do, but if they're doing it, then they want to do their best to implement quality childcare.
  • 09:16: An infant needs different care than possibly its toddler or a school-age child.
  • 10:15: When we are working families, we know sometimes we just need the best, but we need to keep in mind the little points that could make a difference in the type of care that our children are receiving.
  • 11:02: It's easy to feel guilty and say I am not spending enough time with my child, but we have to keep in mind we can spend the whole day at home and if we are just on our phones and not pay attention to children or not doing quality investment of your time then it's nothing.
  • 13:08: You don't have to invest so much money, find something like a recycled paper that you're probably going to toss out, crumble it up into a little ball play, catch 5 minutes in the living room with that and. kids love it, and you are spending that quality time with them.

 

3 Key Highlights

  1. When we are thinking about quality childcare, or when we might be working and we might need to take our child to someplace for the day, what questions should we be asking when we're doing that?
  2. Make observations when you go out for childcare. Check how childcare providers interact with children. How does the provider interact with a parent? Because that also tells you something.
  3. Ofelia shares the top things that come to mind that we as parents, we as teachers, and professional childcare need to be doing to help this rising generation.

 

Tweetable Quotes

  • "If you are looking for childcare, no matter who's going to be watching your child, if you have to go to work, if you have to go to school, you want to know that your child is in a safe place and child is receiving the most optimal care possible." - Ofelia
  • "Quality childcare is going above and beyond the basic licensing requirement." - Ofelia
  • "Quality always surpasses the quantity of the time that we're with our children." - Ofelia

 

Resources Mentioned

 

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Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Emily Edlynn

Wednesday Jun 07, 2023

Wednesday Jun 07, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing clinical psychologist, wellness advocate, and author based in Sonoma County, California talks to Emily Edlynn. Today she will be talking about her fabulous new book Autonomy, supportive parenting, reducing parental burnout, and raising competent and confident children. 



Episode Highlights

  • 01:11: Emily grew up in Southern California and was always a big reader and also always loved working with children. 
  • 02:57: Emily has noticed in a lot of parenting books recently; this idea of autonomy is becoming more and more part of the dialogue. 
  • 03:32: Autonomy-supportive parenting is using practices to help our child develop a strong sense of self and a sense of mastery and competence. 
  • 04:22: The other way that Emily approached the book differently than a lot of parenting material is that they really wanted to center the parenting experience as much as the child's experience.
  • 05:37: When parents describe greater autonomy levels, they are doing more autonomy support practices. 
  • 07:12: Parenting doesn't mean you drop the child in the sandbox and say see you 5 hours from now. 
  • 08:38: As parents, we are really the first experience of relatedness. 
  • 10:03: Emily explains how her book helps families. 
  • 10:40: Emily explains how her book is trying to empower parents.
  • 11:24: When people are feeling more confident when parents are feeling understood and empowered and confident, they are passing that on to their children and their children can absorb that same positive emotion and then the relationships are stronger.
  • 11:50: Emily's book considers parents, caregivers, grandparents, and whoever is pitching in on the caregiving duties from all backgrounds and walks of life and different needs and actually meets them where they are. 
  • 13:27: It will be helpful for parents to realize that you are not just throwing them into something without giving them a chance to do some examination of the situation. 
  • 15:14: To all the other parents living in this modern era of parenting, it's important for all of us to do some self-evaluation. 
  • 18:04: Emily gives several scenarios as to how one should avoid controlling their kid. Controlling ends up being more punitive, and that means the child's not learning.
  • 19:46: Kids' ideas for consequences that have been very appropriate. And once they came up with the consequence, it was so much easier to enforce because it was their idea. 
  • 21:33: A very trust-based relationship that has elements of friendship. It can turn into a more mature friendship over time. 



3 Key Points

  1. Emily explains the self-determination theory. Autonomy is one of the three components of this theory.
  2. Emily talks about the importance of creating a sense of belonging, safety, and community within the family.
  3. Very loving, well-intentioned parents are becoming more controlling with their children and that is undermining the autonomy child. 



Tweetable Quotes

  • "We need to make time and space and prioritize our own sense of autonomy so that we can better practice that for our children." - Emily Edlynn
  • "A child learning that they have skills, and they can trust themselves in their emotional life. Their social life, their academic life, all across their areas of functioning. It's building that strong sense of self, which is very different." - Emily Edlynn
  • "The book does cover toddlers, school age, children, teenagers. So, I would say you can just flip to the part that you need for now in your parenting season, but I try and use a lot of very different examples and scripts for a template." - Emily Edlynn
  • "Everyone loves a good quiz, so I modified scientifically validated questionnaires that are used throughout the literature and have everyone do a self-assessment of how controlling am I versus how autonomy-supportive am I." - Emily Edlynn



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Get to Know Jewish Heritage Month with Shaun Tomson

Wednesday May 31, 2023

Wednesday May 31, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Adina Oberman, talks to Shaun Thompson. He is a former world surfing champion and has been described as one of the greatest and most influential surfers of all time. Shaun is also a world-renowned leadership, mentor, entrepreneur, environmentalist and best-selling author. He's the co-author of the current best seller - The Surfer and the Sage: A Guide to Survive and Ride Life's Waves. Today they are going to talk about their Jewish identities and give listeners a greater appreciation and understanding for Jewish history and life.



Episode Highlights:

  • 02:11: Shaun explains why May is Jewish Heritage Month and what his role is and how does he identify faith.
  • 02:28 Shaun shares how Judaism plays a big part in his life.
  • 04:47: Shaun explains what Shema Yisrael is. It is about oneness and about identifying and shouting out your faith.  
  • 05:31: While talking about the oneness of a relationship Shaun says even though we might worship differently, we will have the humanity to believe and to understand that there is an entity that is all powerful. 
  • 09:05: There are many ways to find hope again, but your faith in your religion is a helpful path. 
  • 09:45: Every single somewhere in the world, you have the arch, which is the repository for the sacred scroll for the Torah.
  • 11:03: Shaun shares about his life's ordeal and how he has given up surfing.
  • 13:54: Adina talks about the Jewish concept of tikkun olam, which means to repair the world.
  • 15:33: Break out a sheet of paper and put a timer on for 15 minutes and mark 12 lines every line, beginning with our will. This is a way to find your purpose.
  • 16:53: When you put our will in front of something, it's not like "I will" is about the future. It's about creating change.
  • 17:50: People have this realization that we are not on this single-minded pursuit for success and wealth, we want to help other people too.
  • 20:32: Finding a way back to faith in God and faith in themselves is something that you are doing through the work that you do.
  • 21:13: As per Adina, in your work and in your life. Mensch is definitely a great compliment.
  • 22:56: Shaun shares how they reconnect as a family and this notion of connecting means it's unbelievably important.
  • 23:55: Every line begins with our well-open-source code. Anyone can use it. It's 15 minutes, then you stand up, and you read your code to the assembled group, whether it's your family, friends, or colleagues.



3 Key Highlights

  1. Known also as the Five Books of Moses, the Torah is one of the three main divisions of the Hebrew Bible and also the most sacred, for according to tradition, it was written down by Moses at divine dictation.
  2. Shaun shares how he had given up surfing and what motivated him to restart it again.
  3. As per Shaun, there is a lot of common sense in many religions, and we are much more connected than we think.



Tweetable Quotes

  • "No matter what religion you are, prayers are dialogue that you have with your God, and it's really, you know, when things go sideways, things get bad, know that that pray can help you." - Shaun Thompson
  • "Your identity and your faith really impact your outlook on life and how you live your life in the world." - Shaun Thompson
  • "People are really beautiful words of commitment. They find the best vision of themselves, and they express that and commit to that." - Shaun Thompson
  • "We are looking forward. So that's 1/2 of the meaning and purpose of life is we are even better at the other half that." - Shaun Thompson
  • "Mensch is someone who's good. When someone calls you a Mensch, that's about the greatest compliment that you can receive." - Adina




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Demystifying Scary Thoughts: Understanding the Postpartum Stress Experience with Karen Kleiman

Wednesday May 24, 2023

Wednesday May 24, 2023

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California is going to talk to Karen Kleiman. She is a well-known international maternal mental health expert with over 35 years of experience. As an advocate and author of several groundbreaking books on postpartum depression and anxiety, her work has been featured on the internet and within the mental health community.



Episode Highlights:

  • 00:49: For decades in 1980, Karen founded the Postpartum Stress Center. A treatment and training facility for prenatal and postpartum depression and anxiety in 2022, she founded the The Karen Kleiman Training Center, LLC, which is dedicated to the advancement of clinical expertise and therapeutic strategies for the treatment of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.
  • 02:23: Christopher shares his story and how he learned from his wife that after the birth of one of his children, she went in a deep depression.
  • 04:59: Karen met two women who told stories of not feeling good after they had had their baby some 50 years prior and not telling anybody and sitting alone in the darkness with their shame, pain, sadness, and grief.
  • 06:17: Karen highlights how people are now talking about postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and postpartum psychosis.
  • 07:06: Karen shares how can we help our closest family members.
  • 08:04: There are normal hormonal changes and sleep deprivation and all few other things that contribute to a mom's moodiness.
  • 09:26: Karen talks about the speech bubble of new moms where she communicates, that she hasn't slept for two days. She hasn't had a shower.
  • 11:10: Karen talks about the hashtag that they had started. It's hard to be vulnerable when you are a new mom. It's hard to say out loud when you are taking care of an infant.
  • 13:00: What's guiding a new mom's responses are not just the relationship or the cultural expectations. What's guiding this is your own expectations and that often gets in the way no matter what you say she wants to be a good mom.
  • 16:18: Karen talks about the disconnect when super wonderful, attentive husbands are not able to quite get there with their wives.
  • 17:28: For a new mom. don't try to fix anything, just be there and by doing that it helps.
  • 19:23: All new moms cry, but what we want to pay attention to, for example, is how much are you crying? How many times during the day are you crying?
  • 20:11: If postpartum depression symptoms are interfering with your ability to get through the day, then you need more support, says Karen.  
  • 22:49: It's ok to not feel good and be a great mom and good moms do have scary thoughts, and we aren't worried about the scary thoughts.



3 Key Highlights

  1. Karen explains how it is that women are suffering, not discussing about it and pretending to be, ok?
  2. Karen explains how the word postpartum depression means different things to different people, but it's a real thing.
  3. Karen explains how the hardest thing about the feelings associated with postpartum depression is that they don't feel like symptoms.




Tweetable Quotes

  • "I felt very sad to know that my wife had been struggling with depression after one of our children because I never knew." – Christopher
  • "I hope we are creating safe places for women who learn to go to places where they will be heard and safe." - Karen
  • "We don't want moms to have to diagnose themselves, but we do want to call attention to the fact that there are people who could help her figure out if what she's feeling is ok or not." - Karen
  • "What postpartum women will tell you is it's just not that simple to say I need help." - Karen
  • "I heard someone say to me once they say whenever you meet someone, imagine that it when meet people imagine that at least 50% of them have something really difficult going on their life is that and that estimate is probably really low." - Karen

 

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