Helping Families Be Happy

Empowering LGBTQ Kids During Holidays: Practical Tips for Inclusive Parenting with Heather Hester

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Adina Oberman interviews Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama and author of Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ Teen. Heather shares her personal journey of parenting LGBTQ children and provides actionable strategies for navigating family gatherings during the holidays with compassion and confidence. This insightful conversation covers setting healthy boundaries, supporting your child, and fostering open communication, all while promoting acceptance and love within families.
Episode Highlights

[02:15] Heather’s Journey and Parenting with Pride:
 Heather introduces her book, which draws from her family’s experience of parenting LGBTQ children, and explains how it helps parents unlearn biases and embrace understanding and empowerment.

 [07:30] Setting Boundaries at Family Gatherings:
 Heather discusses how to handle challenging conversations with family members who may not be affirming of LGBTQ identities. She emphasizes the importance of protecting your child and modeling self-respect.

[12:45] Simple Strategies for Difficult Conversations:
 Learn how to deflect confrontational topics by providing resources or redirecting conversations. Heather explains why it’s not your responsibility to educate others and how to prioritize your child’s well-being.

[18:00] Empowering Your Child Through Support:
Heather highlights the importance of allowing your child to make decisions about their participation in gatherings. By showing them respect and standing by their choices, parents can empower children to set their own boundaries.

[22:15] Recognizing and Managing Emotional Triggers:
Heather shares tips for managing emotional reactions during heated discussions, including pausing to respond thoughtfully. She encourages parents to model calm, intentional behavior for their children.

[26:30] Teaching Self-Love Through Boundaries:
Setting and maintaining boundaries isn’t just about family dynamics—it’s about teaching children how to advocate for themselves and love themselves.

[30:00] Final Advice for Navigating Family Dynamics:
Heather advises parents to stay present, trust their instincts, and have their child’s back in any situation, even when caught off guard by challenging family dynamics.

Key Takeaways

    Set Healthy Boundaries: Protect your child by setting clear limits with family members who are not affirming.
    Empower Your Child: Support your child’s autonomy in deciding how to navigate family gatherings.
    Model Emotional Awareness: Teach by example—respond thoughtfully to challenging situations instead of reacting impulsively.
    Provide Resources, Not Arguments: Redirect confrontational conversations by offering educational resources, not personal debates.

Navigating Holiday Gatherings: Setting Boundaries with Grace with Carla Marie Manly

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy Podcast, host Adina Oberman speaks with Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist and expert in personal transformation, to discuss strategies for setting healthy boundaries during holiday gatherings. With holidays often bringing together family and friends, Dr. Manley offers practical tips for navigating potentially invasive questions with grace and respect. This conversation is perfect for those seeking to create a positive, self-respecting environment during social events, allowing families to enjoy gatherings with mutual understanding.

[00:00] Host Adina Oberman introduces Dr. Carla Marie Manly, highlighting her expertise in relationships, personal growth, and boundary setting, especially relevant during the holiday season. Dr. Manly explains her holistic approach to helping others navigate relationships with a foundation of self-respect and resilience.

[04:15] Dr. Manly describes common holiday challenges, such as invasive questions, and emphasizes the importance of establishing boundaries. She encourages listeners to view boundaries as emotional “fences” that protect well-being, offering examples of how to respond calmly to probing questions.

[09:30] Dr. Manly discusses the impact of the word “should” on boundaries, noting that feeling obligated to answer personal questions can lead to boundary violations. She encourages families to set limits confidently and gracefully, re-framing boundaries as a means of self-care.

[13:50] The conversation covers practical responses to common intrusive questions (e.g., about relationships or family planning). Dr. Manly shares polite, direct phrases for redirecting conversations and maintaining personal privacy.

[18:20] Dr. Manly emphasizes the value of role-modeling boundaries for children, highlighting how parents can demonstrate self-respect in social settings. She also suggests practicing boundary-setting phrases to build confidence before gatherings.

[23:30] Dr. Manly explains the “three strikes, you’re out” approach to reinforce boundaries, advising listeners on handling persistent boundary crossers by politely exiting conversations if necessary.

[28:45] Dr. Manly addresses handling conversations with individuals under the influence of alcohol, explaining how to navigate these situations by disengaging if needed, to maintain emotional safety and peace.

[32:15] Dr. Manly shares advice on avoiding discussions around politics or sensitive topics at family gatherings, including using “timeouts” as a graceful way to step away from uncomfortable conversations.

Key Takeaways:

• Healthy boundaries allow you to maintain self-respect and enjoy holiday gatherings more fully.
• Polite, direct responses can help redirect intrusive questions without damaging relationships.
• Role-modeling boundaries for children reinforces the importance of self-respect.
• Practice boundary-setting phrases to build confidence in social settings.
• Using a “timeout” can provide a graceful exit from difficult conversations, especially when sensitive topics arise.

Handling the Holidays after Divorce with Paul Mandelstein

In this Helping Families Be Happy podcast episode, host Christopher Robbins speaks with Paul Mandelstein, founder of the Father Resource Network and author of The World’s Best Dad During and After Divorce. Together, they explore the challenges and joys of celebrating the holidays post-divorce, providing divorced or separated parents with advice on handling co-parenting dynamics and creating meaningful, stress-free holiday traditions for the whole family.

Episode Highlights

[02:15] Prioritizing Flexibility for Kids:
Paul advises parents to adapt holiday plans around their children’s needs, even if it means adjusting co-parenting schedules.

[06:45] Kindness and Agreement-Keeping:
Practicing kindness and sticking to agreements with co-parents helps create a positive holiday experience for the entire family.

[12:30] Embracing Personal Growth:
Holidays post-divorce offer opportunities for self-reflection and growth, which can contribute to a happier, healthier family dynamic.

[16:10] Practicing Forgiveness:
Forgiveness isn’t just for others but is a healing step for oneself, easing tensions and fostering a peaceful holiday season.

[21:00] Building New Traditions:
Creating unique family traditions allows everyone, including new family members, to feel included and helps children adjust.

[25:30] Avoiding Over-Gifting:
Instead of compensating with gifts, Paul encourages parents to focus on quality time, as it creates more meaningful holiday memories for kids.

Key Takeaways

Prioritize Kids’ Needs with Flexibility: Be adaptable to give children the best possible holiday experience.

Be Kind and Keep Agreements: Kindness and reliability strengthen co-parenting dynamics and ease holiday tensions.
   
Use Holidays as Growth Opportunities: Embrace self-reflection and personal growth for a fulfilling holiday season.
    
Create New Traditions and Avoid Over-gifting: Develop traditions that honor your new family setup without excessive gifting.

The Power of Positive Influence in Families with Barry Rellaford

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy Podcast, host Christopher Robbins welcomes leadership expert Barry Relaford. With decades of experience in leadership development and trust-building, Barry shares insights on fostering a positive family environment through authentic leadership, building trust, and creating a lasting legacy. This episode is essential for families wanting to strengthen bonds, instill strong values, and positively impact future generations.

[00:00] Host Christopher Robbins introduces Barry Relaford, noting his work with leaders worldwide and his current focus on mentoring emerging talent. They discuss how leadership and trust-building principles apply directly to family relationships.

[05:20] Barry defines leadership as positive influence and explains that every family member can lead by setting a good example. This approach fosters trust, strengthens bonds, and encourages growth within the family.

[10:30] Reflecting on his family experiences, Barry highlights the powerful role of family legacy, emphasizing how the values we pass down shape future generations.

[15:45] Barry shares the quote, “It’s a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved,” underscoring that trust is crucial in family relationships and often outweighs likability.

[22:00] Barry explores the process of rebuilding broken trust, emphasizing that it requires trustworthy actions and consistent boundaries to restore family harmony.

[30:15] Barry discusses the link between trust and leadership in family dynamics, stressing that parents should model integrity and accountability to foster a secure, supportive home.

[35:40] Barry concludes with optimism for future generations, encouraging families to support young leaders, as they are key to creating a more positive society.

Key Takeaways:

• Family leadership is best expressed through positive influence and setting a strong example.
• Trust is foundational to family relationships and should be prioritized over simply being liked.
• Rebuilding trust requires consistent, trustworthy actions and clear family boundaries.
• Family members play a critical role in nurturing future leaders and instilling strong values.
• Supporting young family members in leadership roles encourages a hopeful future.

Books with Soul: Transforming Communities Through Stories with Alma Guzman

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Adina Oberman speaks with Alma Guzman, founder of Libros con Alma (Books with Soul), a community-driven project based in Southeast Los Angeles. Alma shares her journey of launching Libros con Alma in 2021 to address the lack of bookstores and accessible Spanish-language and BIPOC-authored books in her community. By organizing book pop-ups, engaging in cultural events, and creating the recent exhibit Cuentame, Alma fosters a love for reading and storytelling in underserved areas. Alma discusses her unique approaches to connect with her community, including collaborations with local artists, the “Spanglish Book Club,” and her aspirations to establish a bookmobile. This episode emphasizes the power of community, representation in literature, and the transformative potential of accessible stories.

Episode Highlights
       
1. Origins of Libros con Alma: How Alma launched her initiative to increase access to Spanish-language and BIPOC literature in Southeast LA.

2.  Impact on Community: Alma’s insights into the significance of offering free, take-home books in her community and the reactions from local readers.

3. Cultural Engagement: Highlighting Cuentame, an art exhibit showcasing book recommendations and stories from Southeast LA residents.

4. Upcoming Projects: Alma’s plans for the “Spanglish Book Club” and her long-term goal of creating a bookmobile.
     
Key Links:
Libros con Alma on Instagram – Follow Alma’s journey, pop-up events, and upcoming projects.

Familius 10 Habits of Happy Families – Explore ways to foster happiness through learning and conversation.

See, Support, Connect: Creating a Safe Space Through Books with Kenya Kirkman

In this episode, Kenya Kirkman, founder of 18 August Avenue, joins host Adina Oberman to discuss her mission of empowering BIPOC families through diverse children’s books and community-building events. Kenya shares how the stillbirth of her twin sons, Aiden and Carter, inspired her to create a space where Black and brown families can see themselves represented in literature. She talks about the importance of offering resources for parents, connecting with educators, and fostering a sense of belonging for marginalized communities. Kenya also provides advice for aspiring entrepreneurs and shares her vision for the future of 18 August Avenue.

Episode Highlights:

1. Introduction to Kenya Kirkman and 18 August Avenue
   Kenya shares the inspiring story behind founding 18 August Avenue, a children's bookshop that amplifies BIPOC voices, inspired by her twin sons, Aiden and Carter, who were stillborn in 2019.

2. Turning Grief into Purpose
   Kenya discusses how the loss of her sons led her to create a space for expectant parents and families, providing diverse books and resources that reflect their lived experiences.

3. Advice for Aspiring Entrepreneurs
   Kenya offers heartfelt advice to listeners considering starting a business: stay authentic, pursue what feels right, and ensure your passion aligns with your purpose.

4. Breaking the Stigma Around Stillbirth
   Kenya opens up about the challenges of sharing her personal story, how it shapes her work, and how her bookshop events center on supporting parents and families in ways that are healing and inclusive.

5. 18 August Avenue's Impact on the Community
   Kenya reflects on how her pop-up events, curated books, and resources are helping families and young people feel seen, supported, and connected.

6. Looking Ahead: Future Plans for 18 August Avenue
   Kenya shares her hopes for expanding her business, with fingers crossed for a physical location in Brooklyn, and upcoming events designed to engage educators and young readers.

7. How to Support and Connect with 18 August Avenue
   Kenya provides details on where to find her online, upcoming events in the Brooklyn area, and how people can support her mission of empowering BIPOC families through books.

8. Closing Remarks
   Host Adina Oberman thanks Kenya for sharing her journey, encouraging listeners to follow and support 18 August Avenue. She reminds the audience to subscribe, leave a review, and explore more family-centered books through Familius.

Read What You Love with Sarah Gundell

Episode Summary:

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Adina Oberman is joined by Sarah Gundell, a passionate book blogger and advocate for children's literature. Sarah shares her journey from her early involvement with the Twilight fandom to her current focus on promoting a love of reading through her Instagram account, Novel Novice.

Sarah discusses her unique approach to engaging kids with reading by connecting their interests to the books they read. She also addresses the value of audiobooks and diverse reading formats, emphasizing that the key to fostering a love for reading is to allow children to explore what they enjoy.

Key Takeaways:

1. Align Reading with Interests: Discover how connecting reading material to children's personal interests—whether it's sports, crafting, or graphic novels—can ignite a lifelong love of reading.

2. Embrace All Forms of Reading: Audiobooks, graphic novels, and genre fiction are all valuable. The important thing is engaging with books in any format that resonates with the reader.

3. Model Reading Behavior: Demonstrate your love for reading to your children by making time for it yourself. This models positive reading habits and emphasizes reading as a rewarding activity.

4. Utilize Libraries and Bookstores: Take advantage of local libraries and bookstores to provide diverse reading materials, making books a regular and exciting part of family life.

5. Read Together: Incorporate reading into daily routines and special moments with your family to build a shared love for books and create cherished memories.

Resources Mentioned:

• Sarah Gundell’s Instagram: @novelnovice
• Sarah’s Blog: novelnovice.com (for archived book reviews)

Quotes from the Episode:

• “The goal is to keep kids engaged with reading in any form.” – Sarah Gundell
• “Books are accessible to everyone. Go get a book and discover reading.” – Sarah Gundell
• “I like to say, read by example.” – Sarah Gundell

Join the Conversation:

We'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode! Subscribe to the podcast and leave us a review to let us know how we're doing. When you're ready for your next great book adventure, explore the wonderful selections at Familia to continue your reading journey.

When Mental Illness Hits Home: On Faith and Resilience with Virgina Pillars

Mental Illness and Virginia Pillars

In this episode of 'Helping Families Be Happy,' host Adina Oberman engages with guest Virginia Pillars, the author of 'Broken Brain, Fortified Faith' to discuss the complexities and journey through mental illness within a family context. This episode dives into Pillars' personal experience with her daughter's schizophrenia diagnosis, the impact on family, and the power of hope, education, and faith in navigating mental illness. Contributions from both speakers shed light on vital resources, self-care for caregivers, and the importance of ongoing learning and community support. 

 

Episode Highlights 

00:00:09 - Host Adina Oberman introduces the podcast focus on family, love, and relationships and presents guest Virginia Pillars, an advocate for mental health, sharing her start as a mother and author dealing with her child's mental illness. 

 

00:01:15 - Virginia speaks about addressing mental illness in families, emphasizing the necessity of faith, mental wellness, and education through her certification in First Aid for Mental Health and her awarded memoir. 

 

00:02:28 - The initiation of the conversation where Virginia expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share her story, setting a tone of mutual respect and eagerness for the dialogue. 

 

00:02:30 - Pillars touches on the inception of her book 'Broken Brain, Fortified Faith', discussing the loneliness felt by families dealing with mental illness and her hope to provide solace and understanding through her writing. 

 

00:04:16 - An intimate discussion on the persistency of hope and the importance of lifelong learning and indulging in one's craft to contribute positively to family and personal growth, despite the dark times. 

 

00:06:00 - Virginia recounts the initial signs of her daughter's schizophrenia, the emergency that signified a major change in their lives, and the critical role this moment played in sparking a relentless quest for help and understanding. 

 

00:08:32 - Dive into the Pillars' family's journey towards recovery, detailing their unwavering effort, exploration of resources, and the eventual success in facilitating an independent life for their daughter. 

 

00:09:44 - Overview of valuable platforms like NAMI for support and education for families encountering mental illness, reinforcing the power of community and shared experiences in healing. 

 

00:11:23 - Virginia shares the personal transformation from questioning faith to drawing strength from it, underlining the spiritual journey intertwined with coping with family mental health issues. 

 

00:14:08 - Emphasis on the criticality of self-care for caregivers, using a compelling analogy with the airplane oxygen mask to highlight the necessity of caring for oneself to effectively care for others. 

 

00:16:01 - Pillars explains how her faith was 'fortified' through adversity, detailing her morning routine of reflection and prayer that provided her with the resilience required for her challenging journey. 

 

00:19:35 - The close of the episode, with Virginia sharing avenues through which listeners can connect with her and learn more about her work, encouraging outreach and dialogue on mental health issues. 

Key Takeaways 

1. Hope and education are crucial elements in navigating the journey of mental illness within a family. 

 

2. Community support, like that offered by NAMI, plays an indispensable role in understanding and coping with mental health diagnoses. 

 

3. Self-care for caregivers is not just necessary but paramount in ensuring the wellbeing of both the caregivers themselves and their loved ones. 4. Maintaining faith or personal beliefs can offer profound strength and perspective during times of adversity. 

Tweetable Quotes 

"Hang on to the hope, because hope is always there no matter the darkness." - Virginia Pillars

 "Self-care put on our own oxygen masks so that we can continue to care for other people around us." - Virginia Pillars 

"We've taken not the question of why but, this has happened now what do we do with it to move forward?" - Virginia Pillars

The Power of Representation: Children’s Literature & Hispanic Heritage Month with Kid Time Storytime

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Adina Oberman welcomes a celebrated YouTube storyteller known for her Kid Time, Story Time channel, which is particularly popular among kids for its engaging book readings augmented by a cast of entertaining puppets. They dive into the significance of Hispanic Heritage Month, discussing the importance of cultural identity, pride, and bilingualism, particularly within the context of children's literature and upbringing. The storyteller shares her own Cuban-American background, emphasizing the value of maintaining one's heritage language and the profound impact of seeing oneself reflected in media and literature. The conversation also explores broader themes of authenticity, joy in education, and the role of children's literature in shaping a generation's understanding of themselves and their culture. 

 

Episode Highlights 

00:00:09: Adina introduces the podcast and welcomes the guest storyteller, highlighting her achievements with Kid Time, Story Time YouTube channel, and her contribution to children's literature and bilingual education. 

00:01:13: The storyteller's background as a Cuban-American and her emphasis on the importance of Hispanic Heritage Month are discussed, with a nod to her role as a modern Mr. Rogers. 00:01:56: The storyteller comments on the 'messy' nature of life and the synergy between her work and the podcast's themes of reading, laughing, and learning together. 

00:02:25: Discussion moves to how parents and educators can help kids develop a strong sense of self and cultural identity through modeling behavior and embracing their culture joyfully. 

00:04:04: Emphasizing the importance of maintaining one's heritage language within the family to preserve culture and identity. 

00:07:31: The power of children seeing themselves represented in literature and the influence of authentic experiences and characters are discussed. 

00:08:34: The storyteller reflects on her own influential figures, including family members and Celia Cruz, in shaping her personal and professional life. 

00:12:22: There's an exploration of the importance of authenticity in creating content and the impact of genuine connection with audiences. 

00:15:22: Adina and the storyteller delve into the role of children's literature in helping kids understand and appreciate their cultural identity and the diversity of stories necessary for a comprehensive cultural representation. 

00:20:40: The storyteller shares her closing thoughts on the importance of authenticity, joy, and education in shaping children's lives. 

00:26:32: Information on where to find Kid Time, Story Time content online is given alongside a message of gratitude to listeners and supporters. 

 

Key Takeaways 

• Embracing and preserving one's cultural heritage, especially through language, is essential for maintaining a strong sense of identity and pride among children.
• Children benefit significantly from seeing themselves represented in literature, which can foster a sense of belonging and self-esteem.
• Authenticity and joy are crucial in educational content creation, as they build genuine connections and make the learning experience enjoyable and meaningful for children.
• The diversity of stories in children's literature plays a vital role in shaping how kids understand and appreciate their own cultures and those of others, promoting empathy and inclusiveness.
• Family members and cultural figures can be influential in a child's development, serving as inspirations and role models in their journey of self-discovery and cultural appreciation. 

Tweetable Quotes 

"Life is messy, and embracing it together through reading, laughing, and learning is what makes us grow." - Adina Oberman 

"Being bilingual is not just about speaking two languages; it's about living two cultures, enriching your identity and your world view." - Guest Storyteller 

"Children are like sponges, they absorb every detail around them, which is why it is so important for them to see themselves reflected in books and media." - Guest Storyteller 

"Authenticity unlocks a special connection between us and our audience, making every shared moment and every taught lesson deeply impactful." - Guest Storyteller 

 

Show Notes by Barevalue.

Supporting Without Smothering: The Key to College Readiness with Cynthia Munchick

In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Adina Oberman explores the intricacies of the college application process with Cynthia Munchick, an educational consultant with over 25 years of experience. Cynthia offers invaluable advice on navigating the often challenging journey to college, from understanding the importance of well-rounded experiences to managing stress during senior year. The conversation provides insight into fostering independence in teenagers and the vital role of parental support without overstepping. 

 

Episode Highlights 

00:00:10 - Adina introduces the podcast and welcomes Cynthia Munchick, highlighting her extensive background in education and dedication to helping families navigate the college application process. The introduction sets the stage for a detailed discussion on preparing teens for college and the parent's role in this pivotal time.

00:02:07 - Cynthia expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share her insights, illuminating the recurring theme of gratitude and collaboration between educational consultants and families striving for a common goal: the success and well-being of the students.

00:02:51 - The importance of using summers strategically is discussed, with Cynthia advising on the value of balancing rest with activities like volunteering or part-time jobs to enrich a student's high school experience and college applications. 

00:03:41 - Cynthia advocates for open communication between parents and teens, emphasizing the need for parents to offer support in managing the bustling schedule of high school life without being dominating, pointing towards fostering independence and self-management skills in students.

00:05:38 - Cynthia shares practical advice for families with underclassmen, stressing the significance of proactive planning and parental support tailored to the unique needs of each student, ensuring they are well-prepared for the college application process.

00:06:16 - Discussion shifts to the unique challenges faced by seniors and their parents. Cynthia reflects on her personal experience as a parent of a rising senior, highlighting the delicate balance between support and allowing independence.

00:08:43 - Cynthia emphasizes the congestive nature of the senior fall, underscoring the importance of time management, strategizing college visits, and dealing with the academic and emotional load during the final high school year.

00:10:40 - The conversation delves into the emotional aspects of navigating senior year, with Adina and Cynthia discussing the importance of giving teens space, understanding, and the permission to manage their responsibilities, highlighting a common thread throughout the episode: the delicate balance of parental involvement. 

00:12:23 - Cynthia discusses the concept of "pointy" vs. "well-rounded" students, stressing that neither is inherently superior and encouraging parents to support their children's genuine interests, even if they lead to a more focused set of skills or experiences.

00:16:07 - Cynthia and Adina explore the importance of self-awareness and self-care among students, emphasizing the permission to quit activities that no longer serve their growth or happiness, advocating for mental health and well-being over a packed schedule.

00:20:13 - The episode concludes with a discussion on the first-generation college application process, with Cynthia providing practical advice for navigating this unfamiliar territory and highlighting the abundance of resources available to support these families. 

Key Takeaways 

1. Summers should be utilized strategically to enhance personal growth and college applications through volunteering, work, or leisure activities that foster new skills. 
2. Open and supportive communication between parents and teenagers is crucial in managing the stress associated with high school and college applications, with a distinct emphasis on promoting independence and resilience in students. 
3. There is a critical balance in parental involvement; too little can leave a student feeling unsupported, yet too much can hinder their development of necessary life skills. 
4. Emphasis on mental health and well-being over achievement, showcasing the importance of allowing teens to quit activities that no longer serve their happiness or growth. 
5. First-generation college applicants have a wealth of resources at their disposal; it's about asking the right questions and seeking out support within their communities and schools. 

Tweetable Quotes

"Use summers strategically for growth beyond academics." - Cynthia Munchick

"Support, don't smother - the delicate balance of parenting high schoolers." - Cynthia Munchick 

"Independence in high school breeds resilience in college." - Cynthia Munchick 

"Permission to quit can be the greatest lesson in self-care." - Cynthia Munchick 

"First-gen college applicants, seek out resources - they're plentiful." - Cynthia Munchick 

Show Notes by Barevalue.