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With help from guest authors, experts, and community and business leaders, the Familius Helping Families Be Happy podcast explores topics and issues that connect families to the nine habits of a happy family: love, play, learn, work, talk, heal, read, eat, and laugh together.
Episodes
Wednesday May 18, 2022
Wednesday May 18, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robins, Co-founder of Familius publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California talks with guest Noah BenShea, North America’s most respected and beloved Poet/Philosophers, Pulitzer Prize-nominated, and international Best-Selling author of 28 books translated into 18 languages. They explore the principles of successful living from Noah’s most recent book – The Surfer and the Sage: A Guide to Survive and Ride Life's Waves co-authored with world champion surfer - Shaun Tomson.
Episode Highlights
- 01:37 – Christopher says, it's interesting to think that a real champion Surfer Co-authored a book with a world-famous Poet.
- 03:50 – Poetry in many regards is the business of putting a frame around a moment around a witness that you give to a moment that might otherwise pass unnoticed, unknown, says Noah
- 05:38 – Noah shares, what he learned about life through his experience with Shaun, and the parallels that exist with the ocean and with waves in the surfing.
- 08:10 – Shaun spends more time in the water than he spends typing, and Noah spends more time typing than being on a surfboard, says Noah.
- 12:02 – Christopher reads a section of the book – “When there are storms overhead, drop down into your mind ocean and ride the waves under your waves, the calm in your storm is the calm within you, your calm is calmly waiting, your calm is not at a distance from you unless you are at a distance from you.”
- 14:45 – Noah says, finding that calm inside of you is first recognizing that if you're in a state of turmoil. The turmoil is yours, and the disquiet is yours.
- 16:20 - Your working life is who you are and how you conduct yourself with you, says Noah.
- 18:42 – Noah mentions, that life is a gift, and prayer is a thank-you note. Write thank-you notes, and send those thank-you notes out.
- 20:02 – Noah states, that the only company that we can be assured of on that journey is ourselves.
- 22:35 – Before Noah gets to his prayers during his meditation is that he imagines that he is a prequel to himself.
- 24:55 – Noah’s feeling is that each of us is a time machine, and in our memory, we can go backward in time. In our imagination, we can go forward in time, but the only place you can steer your time machine is in the now.
- 26:55 - In working with Shaun there were times in a story that he would tell about loss, but he wanted to be wise enough to be silent, states Noah
Three Key Points
- One of the real strengths of this book is that at the very cost of anything else both Shaun and Noah wanted to bring honesty and candor. Just two straight-ahead guys who are a little further down the trail than a lot of other people in life perhaps, and bring that to it. So, to Shaun the ocean of the idea of a wave rising or waves falling, catching a wave or missing your wave, or the idea that you’re not a drop in the sea, you are all the drops in the sea in a philosophic sense was very easy and a comfortable fit for him. While they both spoke about doing this book, Shaun was the one who decided that he (Guest) would be the sage in this book.
- You're not in charge, what you are in charge of is you. What the world delivers to your doorstep each morning isn't your responsibility, your responsibility is your reaction to it, and it's calming to the soul. When you realize that your sole responsibility is who you are and how you conduct yourself. That's the only thing you're in charge of for the moment and in the moment. Your working life is not what you do, but who you are and that's in the book. So, our work in life is oftentimes making us self-important.
- In the same way, as we leave the woods behind, we leave the boat behind, and we leave the river behind. We wander through where we are in that moment, and the only company that you can be assured of on that journey is yourself. So, it would be wise to be good company to that company on that journey. Our ability to be good company with others is premised on our ability to be good company with ourselves.
Tweetable Quotes
- “A poet's work is not always writing poetry but discovering poetry and putting the appropriate silence on both sides of it.” - Noah BenShea
- “Feelings are like tides, they come and go, and not to get too attached to your feelings or don't confuse how you feel with who you are.” - Noah BenShea
- “All courage happens on a private scale on a private stage.” - Noah BenShea
- “You can't like others if you don't like yourself, you can't love others if you don't love yourself.” - Noah BenShea
- “People don't do things to you; they do things for them.” - Noah BenShea
- “Self-pity is the worst way to discover self.” - Noah BenShea
- “The two great days in a person's life are - the day they are born and the day they know why they're born.” - Noah BenShea
Resources Mentioned
- The Surfer and the Sage Book
- Noah BSenShea: Website
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday May 11, 2022
Wednesday May 11, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Tamara Girardi, a full-time English Professor for Community College, and an author who writes picture books and young adult fiction. On today’s podcast, Tamara is talking about her book ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’
Episode Highlights
- 01:50 – Dr. Carla asks what led Tamara to write the book ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’
- 04:15 – Tamara thinks that socialization comes from peers, from parents, and maybe from teachers, and overtime questions are not as celebrated as they once were.
- 06:20 - It's interesting to see how Gabriela (Tamara’s third child) has transitioned to taking the information that she's hearing and summarizing it into a cohesive answer, says Tamara.
- 08:32 – Tamara mentions that this story is a one-on-one story between the cub and the daddy.
- 10:13 - When Tamara had another child since then she thinks love grows and multiplies. There's no limit to love, but there is a limit to being patient.
- 12:00 - When you're reading with your child, it's not that you're reading but other unhealthy habits can be addressed as well through that one experience.
- 14:00 – Tamara hopes that people that get the book will read it many times as their children grow and with multiple children at different ages.
- 16:15 - Each one of Tamara’s children had different board books that were sort of the signature book when they were at that age, and reading them now is very nostalgic.
- 18:00 - Writing picture books were special, Tamara started writing picture books at a difficult time not only in her writing career but in her life as well.
- 20:00 - As a parent, we think a lot about our children, and we talk about them especially when they have difficulty with other friends, or if they're feeling that someone wasn't kind to them.
Three Key Points
- Tamara says that ‘Why, Daddy? Why?’ story was inspired by her third child Gabriela when she was about three years old. As a Professor Tamara noticed that her college students were often hesitant to ask questions, however, it was fascinating to see how her three-year-old asked her 100 questions a day and was very unapologetic about it. This started to make her wonder about that progression. Also, she realized that questions are one of the most wonderful ways of learning about life.
- The story in the book is about the closeness and connection that can come from questioning and having somebody respond to you in a healthy and loving way. The most beautiful part about this book is that it is setting the stage for children to learn that this is how you can ask a question, and get a response in a healthy way. The story is also teaching parents that this is the kind of dynamic that is helpful and healthy for children because it is such a busy world and we sometimes forget the importance of slowing down to be patient with children in our lives.
- Kids start to learn a little bit multi-dimensionally and let's say one of the questions in the book is – “Why do you wear a watch?” Then the dad answers – “So I know when it's time to give you a bubble bath.” But obviously, there are many reasons that dad wears a watch, it's not that one reason. So it's special for kids to start thinking multi-dimensionally in that way that it's not everything, it’s just like the singular connections. But there are these different elements just like the 10 habits.
Tweetable Quotes
- “My house is a little bit beautiful and chaotic at the same time which a lot of families out there can relate to.”– Tamara Girardi
- “I think just asking the question was something I started thinking about.” - Tamara Girardi
- “So, there is an art to asking a question.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The book is a board book, and the main characters are a Daddy Bear and his little cub.” - Tamara Girardi
- “That's what I work on every day, its being as present and as patient as possible.” - Tamara Girardi
- “You're helping the child feel loved and seen and doing it also in a playful way.” - Tamara Girardi
- “Books present the opportunity for conversation and interaction that allows us to see from other people's perspectives.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “There are questions in the book that came from three-year-old Gabriela” - Tamara Girardi
- “Sometimes we can't do a whole lot, but when we are powered by love and the loving, supportive people around us, we can do magnificent things.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Resources Mentioned
Wednesday May 04, 2022
Wednesday May 04, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Emily Lauren Dick who talks about her book Body Positive: A Guide to Loving Your Body. In her book, she is motivating women to love themselves no matter what body they exist. This book tells us about how diverse beauty looks.
Episode Highlights
- 00:55 – It is the most beautiful book, a substantial book, and wonderful for the ears, the eyes, the mind, and the heart, says Dr. Carla.
- 02:06 – Emily thinks she doesn’t know anyone who has not suffered from body image issues. So, that was her inspiration for writing the book.
- 04:55 – Dr. Carla enquires, how do these body images make women and men feel insecure?
- 06:41 - People that are put on this pedestal and in the media, even they don't look like themselves today, there's even mechanics in the video that create people, states Emily.
- 08:05 – Dr. Carla talks about a recent study which says when females were shown photos of larger women, their preference for thin bodies decreased. However, when they were shown images of thin women, they preferred thinness.
- 10:04 - We talk about mental health, illnesses, and disease, but we don't talk about how big an issue this is in society.
- 11:30 – Dr. Carla shares that a very wise person told her recently, that advertising in today's realm is based on getting to people's insecurities. They want us to be insecure because if we feel insecure, we will buy this and that.
- 13:15 – Emily highlights, we are so confused as people and as a society because we've been taught that when our bodies feel bad or our insides feel bad that we're the problem not to look at how the inner body works.
- 14:21 - When you permit yourself you will naturally be drawn to eating a balance of foods because you're listening to your body.
- 17:30 – Emily gets a lot of feedback about this book as so many parents and moms have bought this for themselves as well as for their children so they can show them what diverse beauty looks like.
- 19:19 – Dr. Carla says, the photographs are exquisite in which Emily has shown women in their beautiful, exquisite imperfection, which is how we are as humans.
- 21:23 – The women revealing the imperfection that we are taught to hide and that's just so touching, says Dr. Carla
- 24:06 – Emily states, that she can't wait to see what the world will look like when the focus is not on women's appearance.
Three Key Points
- When Emily went to university and learned about the male gaze and sociology and all these different feminist perspectives sort of the world we live in. She was inspired to make this information accessible to people, especially young girls and women who didn't have the same experience that she did. She had that aha moment in the university and realized why we have body image issues. There are so many things that we can do to challenge the way the world views women's bodies today.
- The more we see people that look like us, the better we will feel about ourselves and our bodies and that’s why so many companies that have adopted this body-positive sort of marketing platform for their advertising and have been so successful because we are dying to see people who look like us in clothing in the media in online so we want it because it makes us feel good.
- This is a healing book for so many. It's a book that brings us together and makes us feel like we're not alone. One of the things that this diet culture does is makes us feel like we're the only ones in the world that feel negatively about our bodies and that we're the only ones who have stretch marks or fat or acne and all these things and when we come together and realize we're all going through this together, that is so healing.
Tweetable Quotes
- “The male gaze is objectification; it is seeing a woman and viewing her as an object and we as women view ourselves through that same lens.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “It is extremely harmful to the way we see ourselves. Women are taught that their priority is to be beautiful.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “When we feel our bodies are wrong, we feel like we're wrong as people.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “You create an ideal person and they don't exist.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “The people who are killing us because they're feeding or creating or recirculating this idea that fineness is the ultimate goal of life.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “Sometimes it's just a matter of listening to our physical bodies.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “Forget the mirror that's in the bathroom, but also the mirror of society and say I want to feel good in my body.” - Emily Lauren Dick
- “Sometimes you need to rest your body on the couch and sometimes you need to go out for a walk because that's what feels good.” - Emily Lauren Dick
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Emily Lauren Dick: Website Instagram
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Apr 27, 2022
Wednesday Apr 27, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with guests Sabrina Moyle and Eunice Moyle (Founder Sisters of the company - ‘Hello! Lucky’) about their book ‘I Believe in You’. They also talk about their company ‘Hello! Lucky’.
Episode Highlights
- 01:20 – Sabrina and Eunice are sisters and they grew up in Asia. Their mom was born in China and raised in Taiwan and their dad worked for the US government as a Diplomat.
- 03:00 – Sabrina refers to the book she read by Educator Barbara Coloroso - ‘The Kids Are Worth It’, where she deeply felt resonated with the messages in the book.
- 05:15 – ‘I Believe in You’ is about having Faith and Trust that no matter what, your child is going to be okay.
- 07:20 – These life lessons are a lifelong process and this is something that continues until adulthood.
- 08:30 – Dr. Carla states that the fifth and sixth principles reminded her of attachment and how important it is to have a child have anyone in his life know they are a priority.
- 10:16 – Eunice mentions that one of her parenting mantras is to always tell kids the truth even if they are asking the weirdest question.
- 12:20 - Parenting is indeed one of the hardest jobs ever made so Sabrina and Eunice are helping support joy in a parent's life to be joyful parents without taking away the truth, says Dr. Carla.
- 14:25 - There's such tremendous joy that can come with this process if we allow ourselves to learn from our children as well, says Sabrina.
Three Key Points
- The book – ‘I Believe in You’ is about building the resilience and the self-sufficiency of children. It gives out six important messages in the context of raising your child – No matter what, I have faith in you, I trust you, I know you can handle this, you are listened to, you are cared for and you are very important to me.
- It is so important that if kids ask questions then respond to them with an age-appropriate answer with honesty and truth, this is all we can do as parents. Be direct, be kind, and be honest in the answers you give to kids.
- No doubt parenting is one of the hardest jobs and is incredibly challenging, but it is also an important opportunity for transformation. Use parenting to transform yourself into a better human being so that you can model that for your child. What's beautiful about being a parent is you're having to teach all of the basics of being a good human being from first principles to someone who hasn't learned them before.
Tweetable Quotes
- “Eunice and I started our company ‘Hello! Lucky’, which is a greeting card company, originally and now it is a Design Studio.” - Sabrina Moyle
- “The book ‘I Believe in You’ was inspired by the educator Barbara Coloroso.” - Sabrina Moyle
- “Let’s talk about the six concepts/principles, that are so critical in the context of raising Children.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Children need to know that they are a priority.” - Sabrina Moyle
- “I'm very sort of organic parenting style, Serena does a lot of reading and likes thinking and I kind of, go with the flow.” - Eunice Moyle
- “Parenting can be hard like it's not a joke. It's like one of the hardest jobs I've ever had.” - Eunice Moyle
Resources Mentioned
Wednesday Apr 06, 2022
Wednesday Apr 06, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Libby Kiszner who will be talking about her book ‘Dear Libby’. In her book she makes us discover the author within. Libby guides you to tap into your creativity, hone your strengths and create a book that resonates with readers. Whether you’re a first-time author or a seasoned publisher, acquire the tools you need to.
Episode Highlights
- 01:20 – Libby shares that she lives in Jerusalem, Israel. She grew up in Brooklyn, then lived in Montreal for seven years, and then came to Israel, so she has been traveling, wandering, and exploring the world.
- 03:10 – Dr. Carla asks Libby to tell more about her book - ‘Dear Libby’.
- 05:15 - Different circumstances require different answers the same person asking the same question in a different situation might need to have a different answer, says Libby.
- 07:55 – Dr. Carla states that the best we could do is to try to when we do try answer or something to offer sound and sage advice or insights as possible.
- 09:08 - One of the reasons Libby loves children's books so much is because you can learn so much from them because of the purity.
- 11:15 - As children, we might think we could find a way to make it better for everyone, says Libby.
- 13:10 - Part of our journey is learning how to transform our pain and fears into joy, and doing it mindfully, states Dr. Carla.
- 15:30 – Libby highlights that not everybody knows how to do that, or what would be the perfect way to comfort us in any given moment. But there is someone in us who knows how to comfort you to comfort yourself.
- 17:00 - The last chapter refers to keeping growing because connecting with others helps us grow.
- 19:10 – Libby says, self-expression is a gift that we all have, and she learned to express herself from a very young age.
- 20:30 – Dr. Carla mentions whether it's cooking, gardening, writing, or singing, whatever it is when families make space for that you've made space for your children in that way.
- 23:10 - Libby believes that what makes a happy family whether we have one, nine, or twenty children is the calm, comforting presence of a nurturing parent.
- 25:25 – “I believe that everyone has transformational power of words within them.” says Libby.
Three Key Points
- There's so much pain in the world and everybody's struggling with their challenges and difficulties. In a way when people read these painful stories they feel not alone but on the other hand, I think they're dealing with so much already. So why add to that why not bring more light stories, more happy stories, or positive stories?
- Libby mentions that as an adult, we get to realize that suffering, pain, joy, and hope they're all part of life. It's all that makes us living beings have a human experience where we grow from the pain we come out the other side with joy.
- Libby narrates ‘Chapter-6’ of the book where you connect with others and also by expressing yourself and finding the vehicle through which you love to express yourself. Some people love to express themselves through them. Other people like to express themselves through painting but by expressing yourself you find your kindred spirits
Tweetable Quotes
- “I had three in Canada and five in Israel.”– Libby Kiszner
- “There can be many answers and many options.” - Libby Kiszner
- “Life is uncertain answers are sometimes a little uncertain, so let's just explore.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “I was seven years old when I found the first book I read.” - Libby Kiszner
- “Some people say writing is so joyful, and other people will say writing is so hard.” - Libby Kiszner
- “How does that book tell us to take us on a walk into certain parts of your book, which I won't reveal because I think it's so fascinating.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The ‘Dear Libby’ book came out of 15 years of listening to questions.” - Libby Kiszner
- “When you express yourself you're like singing a song, you're in harmony with another person.” - Libby Kiszner
- “What a beautiful way of expressing it and I also love what you were talking about writing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Everyone can allow who they are to come through and whatever style wants to come through.” - Libby Kiszner
- “I can see how grounded, centered, and serene you are.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Libby Kiszner Website LinkedIn Amazon Twitter
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Mar 30, 2022
Wednesday Mar 30, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robbins talks with Guest Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California. Dr. Carla discusses her book ‘Aging Joyfully’. This book provides an important and meaningful window into womanhood for those approaching 50 and beyond. She also talks about the issues in the book that are not gender-specific.
Episode Highlights
- 01:00 – Christopher mentions that Dr. Carla focuses on helping others achieve joy and balance from the inside out. She is the author of multiple books.
- 02:05 – ‘Aging Joyfully’ - is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from.
- 04:00 – Christopher asks, what are the unexpected delights of aging that Dr. Carla is referring to?
- 06:40 – The Gen ‘Z’ & millennials seem to be far more willing to embrace self-discovery, mindfulness, intentional learning, and growing, which Dr. Carla is thrilled about.
- 10:34 – Dr. Carla believes that our chronological age is just a number.
- 12:30 – Christopher enquires how can we without remorse look back on our own mistakes and experiences while still looking forward to this unknown future?
- 13:50 - It's about learning from that experience, vowing not to do it again to yourself and to somebody who may have hurt making amends and moving forward, states Dr. Carla.
- 15:16 – If you're not able to forgive, it's about doing that work to see where is that lack of forgiveness coming from.
- 17;40 – Dr. Carla says if you are the person who was fortunate enough to have healthy behavior modeled for you, then those life lessons can be pulled upon and used for the rest of your life.
- 18:22 – “Why did you choose to work joyfully and what does that mean for you?” asks Christopher.
- 22:02 - If we learn how to attend to our joy which is one of the gifts that can come with the least amount of time we have as we get older.
- 24:28 – Christopher enquires from Dr. Carla that when she talks about wisdom and grace, what does that mean in terms of aging?
- 26:12 - We must cultivate our wisdom to see the impact we have on ourselves.
- 28:22 – Christopher asks about the women in our lives and what advice would Dr. Carla have for them as they interact with men.
- 30:40 – If somebody that we love is not taking care of themselves and we’re afraid of their health because they're over drinking, overeating, using substances, or that sort of thing then instead of criticizing your partner, partner up with them.
- 32:55 – Dr. Carla mentions, the author of the book ‘Fatherhood’ said, every man should want therapy in his marriage. Therapy is a must in every relationship in every marriage.
- 34:25 – As a Therapist, Dr. Carla personally takes it as a great privilege when people bring their issues to her and want to work on them.
- 35:01 - If you go and spend your money on a new car, or a new computer, that's only going to give you temporary pleasure why not spend some money on some good therapy and increase your joy.
Three Key Points
- ‘Aging Joyfully’ is one of those books that people of every gender can benefit from and truly women because we start having aging concerns, unfortunately, as early as our, women of every age can learn a lot from the book. She believes that people of every gender because our issues are so much the same.
- According to Carla - it’s nice to have enough money to have a roof over our heads and to feel safe and have clothes that are comfy and all of that but most of the time we get distracted by it and we get distracted by society and we forget to attend to our joy.
- We have lost our wisdom. We are so in the pursuit of intelligence and facts and capturing more that we are on the verge of losing our sacred planet. Many intelligent people have the very little capability within their relationships with their relationship to their divine and to caring for the planet that gives us life, that’s not wisdom.
Tweetable Quotes
- “I believe that almost every issue in the book, including things like incontinence, and sexuality, are something that is not gender-specific. - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “No matter what age we are in life, we face physiological and mental issues that aren't gender-specific.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- "I work with people of all ages and it's one of my great joys and a privilege that people let me into the most intimate places of their lives, places they don't share with their best friends or their partners or anyone else.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “We realize, oh my goodness, I'm just beginning to get to know who I am.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Do learn more about who you are and who you want to be.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Chronological age, I think is simply a number, just like a scale weight is a number, and it’s meaningless.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “If I'm carrying resentment, it's harmful to me, it's harmful to you, the person I'm in a relationship with, and if I'm presenting myself am stuck in what I did wrong in the past. It’s only causing me anxiety, stress, and depression.”- Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “It seems like so much of what we learn as children is applicable for the rest of our lives.” – Christopher Robbins
- “The parents saying don't steal and the parents stealing or the parents saying don't use drugs, but the parents’ using drugs. So, all of that conflict.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “If we cannot see the abundance around us the abundance of nature, the abundance of sky and water and all those things, then it becomes a circle of anxiety and depression.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Wisdom is about knowing what is best, right? So, I can have the intelligence to create the world's most wonderful vehicle. But it takes true wisdom to be able to say, how will this help the planet?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “If I have a message for men about ‘Aging Joyfully’, I didn't care if you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 or beyond. Therapy is not a curse, it is a blessing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “It's not that it's a curse to be in therapy, it's a blessing. It takes great courage to go into therapy, and a great deal of work and perseverance.’ - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Mar 23, 2022
Wednesday Mar 23, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Gabe Jensen (Author-illustrator of his book ‘NEVERWOOF - The Dog That Never Barked). Gabe gives some insights about his book and takes us through the journey of publishing this book.
Episode Highlights
- 01:10 – Gabe says this is his debut book, and it's something that he has been working on now for approximately 30 years trying to become published.
- 02:00 – At the age of 19 Gabe wrote a story which was about little creatures that are responsible for night happening.
- 04:10 – ‘NEVERWOOF’ is such a good dog, and he never barks. Gabe says anyone who has a dog can appreciate a dog who doesn't bark a lot.
- 05:25 – Dr. Carla mentions, the upside/downside to the story is that NEVERWOOF is very calm, grounded, and impeccable, and yet, he might have to step out of that calm space to do something good to protect his people.
- 06:30 – The general message of this book is so beautiful. NEVERWOOF figures out a way to stay true to itself, while still helping his family as well as his house.
- 09:30 – An important part of the message in this book is to say that you're going to try things on that don't feel right but that is okay, reveals Gabe.
- 11:10 – Gabe is trying to carve out a little niche of a more classic, and very simplistic style with just two colors. He is hoping kids will respond and connect with the book.
- 13:15 - When we see a simple message as we're reading to a child, we know they are getting it on some level, no matter the age, and we are getting that reassurance, says Dr. Carla.
- 15:20 – Gabe refers to the gatekeepers while publishing the book - that for better or worse, even if the story fails and doesn't get published, he feels he is in integrity with himself.
- 17:30 – Gabe’s father has been a big inspiration for him as he is a Science Fiction Writer. He was fairly well known.
- 19:40 – Dr. Carla asks Gabe to give about three or four takeaways for the listeners.
- 21:05 - If you're interested in creative pursuits, explore those even if you don't feel like you're an expert in any of them, stresses Gabe.
- 23:00 - If you love the work that you're doing, keep focusing on that and let that push you through a lot of the negativity that you might find.
Three Key Points
- In this book, NEVERWOOF hears a fire engine go by; he follows the fire engine and saves a baby. But all the time he keeps this behavior of calm about him until one night when his family home gets invaded by a robber named Stinky Sue. Now he has to decide what to do. Is he going to stay true to himself?
- Gabe thinks that kids, and even adults, on the one hand sometimes struggle to be true to who we feel we are but at the same time, especially those kids and adults that may be shy, but they constantly feel the pressure to be kind of get over that. The key is to figure out a way to stay true to that part of yourself that may make you more of a quiet person, but at the same time, you can find your voice in a way that's true to you.
- Part of the reason that Gabe is so excited to publish this book is that he is looking forward to having the chance to read to kids of the age that this is designed for, which is four to six. It can be challenging sometimes when you're trying to publish a kid's book because most of the gatekeepers are adults including the Editors, Agents, Art Directors, and others. It can be hard sometimes to not lose track of the fact that you're writing for kids.
Tweetable Quotes
- “I tried to publish my first book when I was 19 years old.”– Gabe Jensen
- “I did several board games and logic games.” - Gabe Jensen
- “We're talking about ‘NEVERWOOF’ being an introvert and a very self-reflective introvert.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “I had to keep looking for where I could find my place in that environment staying true to self.” - Gabe Jensen
- “That is a big message of the book as figuring out how to tell what the right path is?” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “I also designed the art to match the simplicity of what I feel that messages.” - Gabe Jensen
- “I remember as a kid, seeing books that were incredibly simple.” - Gabe Jensen
- “I have to fight against that impulse of writing to the market or writing to these gatekeepers.” - Gabe Jensen
- “If people get pleased, while you're staying in touch with yourself, wonderful, but to lose yourself to please other people doesn't go out very well.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “It's okay to speak a little bit of our false voice as you're trying to find your true voice.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “It's very important to be persistent especially if you're trying to do something difficult, like publishing a book.” - Gabe Jensen
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Gabe Jensen: Website Instagram
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Mar 16, 2022
Wednesday Mar 16, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Guest, Dr. Laurie Hollman. She discusses her book ‘Playing with Baby’. This book guides using attuned interactions with your baby to create a strong parent-child bond. In each chapter, there are month-by-month play options and the research behind them.
Episode Highlights
- 01:10 - Dr. Laurie says she is a Psychoanalyst, and she has worked with infants through older adults. But what prompted this book was when she became an Infant-Parent Psychotherapist.
- 02:33 – Dr. Laurie initially wrote only parenting books. The first book was called ‘Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in your Child's Behavior’ but the narcissism book was by chance.
- 04:32 – Dr. Carla enquires if parents who are in tune with their babies can help them not grow up to be narcissists.
- 06:41 – Dr. Laurie states that the focus of this book is on the baby's mind rather than physical milestones.
- 08:30 – The book focuses on parent-child collaboration and problem-solving. It's about understanding the meaning of a child's behavior.
- 10:01 – Dr. Laurie is teaching mothers how to observe their baby so they can see what's the message the infant is giving to the mother and then they will know how to respond.
- 10:37 – Dr. Carla enquires what would Dr. Laurie encourage parents to do to help support more attunement to their child and revel in the child's milestones?
- 11:44 – There's new research coming out on how the development of an infant in the first year has been impacted by the COVID restrictions, states Dr. Laurie.
- 13:19 – Dr. Laurie points out, she has tried to share with mothers that when you get back in the car or on the subway, however, you got to your pediatrician. Take off that mask and deal with that baby because she will have missed you and have got confused.
- 15:00 – Infants learn by seeing and they only see the eyes but their audio works. So, the baby in utero learns the voice of the mother. So, when a baby is born, they already know that sound so that it stays consistent even with a mask on so that's just reassuring, highlights Dr. Laurie.
- 17:25 – Dr. Carla mentions that we adults like it when our significant others make eye contact with us and how much more important that is for a newborn child who was relying on his mom and dad for everything.
- 19:10 – The research indicates further that both right and left-handed mothers hold their babies on the left side of their bodies to comfort their infants.
- 20:50 - A fantastic finding from first it said infants are motivated to identify patterns, footers, and sequences.
- 23:10 – Dr. Carla says, it's survival of our species that they need to be able to predict some amount of outcome and that we now have research that reassures us that yes, these little beings are there are some ways to train us our day.
- 25:56 - Once their (baby) eyes reach the target they look back at you because they want your feedback. See if they've isolated the right target, mentions Laurie
- 27:24 – Baby’s gaze is going to alternate between his choice of target, which might be a toy, and your face until he sees that you have joined his attention, states Laurie
- 30:55 - We are accustomed to seeing mobiles, even advertisements hanging in the middle of the crib. That's not where they belong because that's not where your baby's first going to look.
- 32:48 – Dr. Laurie shares some illustrations from the book.
- 34:06 – Baby is learning something called ‘Object Constancy’, which means that when an object is out of view, an object is out of view, it still exists.
- 36:00 – Dr. Laurie shares an illustration from her book of a seven-month-old baby named Samantha which is about Parent Psychotherapy Sessions.
- 41:38 – Dr. Laurie uses this example because mothers are people and mothers have mothers and things are going to interfere in your lives with playing with your baby and how you manage them is very important.
- 42:20 – Kazz is becoming an attentive mother even when her family situation is challenging, due to her own mother's emotional illness.
- 43:50 – Think about your baby's vision. A baby's line of sight or vision is most clearly focused at the distance of a person holding them.
- 45:06 - We have the mistaken belief that our babies learn to read when she's not that she remembers what pictures are all about.
- 47:03 – Dr. Carla points out, whatever we say be a good or not so good becomes part of who we are. When we're interacting with baby, whatever we say, or do babies imitate it.
Three Key Points
- The key message in the book is, from birth, infants live in a two-person world and as per 50 years old research, babies were considered to be entirely symbiotic with their mother. We learned that they certainly depend on their mother and they need to be nursed or bed, but they do have minds of their own. It’s a two-person world from the start, and that's a kind of exciting thing to share.
- If a mother, father, or primary caregiver is depressed then that is a very serious problem for a baby. You need another caretaker there as well who is going to fill in that gap where the baby is going to have trouble learning.
- You'll find that each chapter is a different month. So, each chapter will give a lot of information about how the research is easily understood and it will optimize your play choices.
Tweetable Quotes
- “People feel like I took the clinical concept and made it very accessible to many readers. And that was my aim.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “If you're a mommy listening or reading this interview, they will choose you over others with their gazes.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “I can just see when you have a baby in your arms and mommy or daddy looking down at baby that attunement that you get from that gaze that locked Love Field gaze is where the child feels seen and safe. I love that.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Recognition is the way the baby learns what's going on, and the way they relate to you and mothers at home don't wear masks. So that solves that problem since the kids go out, everybody has a mask on that's completely contrary to what an infant how do they learn” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “I saw her then with her mask off and I studied her, I just said you need to stay right there for a minute. I need to take in who you are.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “It's found that the right orbital frontal cortex and Vaccae area right behind your eyes sockets moderates the mother's abilities to understand for infants emotional choose and respond to their senses.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “The mother is as biologically programmed from her pregnancy to want to play with her baby in the first few days.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “Mothers pointing her finger out their forefinger at the baby will follow her line of vision.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “Play does not equal toys. Play is about the interaction; play is interacting with the baby.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “I have to tell you the red neon was very purposeful because babies like red, yellow, black and white.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “We're so attuned to rapid activity that we forget babies need to think and take their time so we need to be patient and wait.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “You can use anything you pick and put it under a blanket ticket app and your baby will want to do that over and over and over again” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “We know that Kazz is going to be worried about her mother. But even so, it doesn't distract her too much from focusing on Samantha.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “How important that is to be compassionate with yourself and your situation. So, then you can also be compassionate in your interactions with your little one.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Babies love novelty. So, if they see the same picture over and over, like with cardboard picture books, they may start to resent just so showing something else and they pick right up.” - Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “Babies learn from us very quickly by imitation. So, it's just wonderful to realize again no toys needed.” – Dr. Laurie Hollman
- “When interacting with a baby or even when you don't think you're interacting with baby, how important it is for us to model kindness, love compassion, our patients slowing down and being attuned.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Laurie Hollman: Website
- Podcast Editing
Wednesday Mar 09, 2022
Wednesday Mar 09, 2022
In today’s episode of the “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with guest Gina Sadilek, who will be talking about the importance of sensory play, her Etsy Shop, ‘A Magical Minute’ and her Instagram @amagicalminute.
Episode Highlights
- 01:30 – Dr. Carla asks if Gina’s two daughters have anything to do with how she started ‘A Magical Minute’.
- 02:47 – Gina says that they sold somewhere around 600 kits that they've made, so it's been quite a whirlwind.
- 05:10 – Gina reveals that she has been talking to some physical therapists and they were telling her how useful it would be in physical therapy for improving people who have had strokes or something like that.
- 07:10 – Dr. Carla enquires Gina about her mom’s favorite kit.
- 09:10 – Gina has got around 2800 Instagram subscribers and most of them are Moms.
- 11:00 – The guest talks about the importance of sensory play and the way she leaves that sensory play in with the books.
- 14:20 - It's been quite an interesting journey because due to COVID Gina couldn’t send her daughter to preschool when she was three, and now it is so nice to see how she socializes with other kids.
- 16:10 – Gina had a very hard time when Isabel was a newborn. She says she is not a baby person so that was hard for her.
- 18:10 – They eat almost all meals together as a family and that's been good for their kids to be sitting around the table and talking. They don't do any devices during dinner time and mealtime which is so important.
- 20:45 – Dr. Carla requests Gina to share maybe one or two kernels of wisdom with the listeners.
- 21:00 – Gina shares that it is so important to introduce different sensory bases or tactile things to your kids, and then also just the concept of reading to your children.
Three Key Points
- All the kits have play dough in them that Gina’s mom makes by hand and then they include different kinds of little bits and bobs in there for the kids to play with. The construction kit includes construction cars, little signs that have railroad crossing on them, some rocks, and others.
- Gina states that she has been so lucky to connect with amazing women and moms out on the Instagram platform and it's been an interesting process. She got into replay setup with both of her daughters like introducing different textures, water play, and all of that.
- Dr. Carla mentions that a beautiful part about intentional parenting is that natural enjoyment that comes up because you love your kids and enjoy being with them.
Tweetable Quotes
- “You partnered with your mom, tell me a little bit about how that happened.” – Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “But my daughter ended up loving the construction kits.” - Gina Sadilek
- “What a fun toy it would be to join with your child or grandchild in using your using your kids.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “Now, a little bit more about your Instagram account.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “She's made a lot of great friends and she loves being there.” - Gina Sadilek
- “Yeah, babies stuff was just not for me.” - Gina Sadilek
- “We're very lucky and blessed that we're all able to sit down at the table together and eat dinner.” - Gina Sadilek
Resources Mentioned
Wednesday Mar 02, 2022
Wednesday Mar 02, 2022
In today’s episode of “Helping Families be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with Kim Harms, an Author, Freelance Editor, and Speaker about her upcoming book ‘Life Reconstructed: Navigating the World of Mastectomies and Breast Reconstruction. In this book, Kim shares an honest roadmap every breast cancer fighter needs on her journey to recovery.
Episode Highlights
- 01:38 – Kim says her first book ‘Life Reconstructed’ is the book that came out of her breast cancer experience.
- 02:48 – There's a chapter that refers to the interviews with people, how cancer affected their lives, states Kim.
- 04:50 - In this book, Kim has shared how Corey (her husband) and she got through the cancer journey. She also talks about how she dealt with the physical pain and with the people who say hurtful things.
- 06:01 – Kim suggests how to communicate better with your husband during this tough time.
- 08:09 - You probably need to let that partner know how you're feeling that is too much and that you need a break.
- 10:06 – Kim shares that her oldest one is not very talkative.
- 12:27 - It was definitely a process of healing and growing together as a family, says Kim.
- 14:37 - Your book will be a good guide a good best friend to have in their purse or their knapsack, says Dr. Carla Marie Manly.
- 18:16 – When we’re going through this think about, what we can do when we get to the other side that would be just kind of celebrating, getting through this together.
- 20:05 – Kim shares, they give away free mastectomy pillows at their website. So, if someone going through cancer and needs pillows after surgery, they give you support.
Three Key Points
- This book would help to understand the person who is going through cancer and how they are dealing with it. What exactly is a mastectomy or what does that mean when you say flat reconstruction, that kind of information to help them understand the medical side, but then there's also a lot of emotional side to it like how can we help this person? How can we understand what she's going through?
- Kim shares, one can get tested for a gene and if they have a certain mutation, then their chances of breast cancer are extremely high.
- If we are going through a hard thing like this, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed out and not want to go through it and just feel those emotions. Don't try to be superwoman. Go through just one day at a time.
Tweetable Quotes
- “My book is like reconstructive the subtitle is navigating the world of mastectomy and breast reconstruction.” – Kim Harms
- “When your stress is high like that, and you're going through something so painful, relationships are affected.” – Kim Harms
- “I also share the experience of many other women that I interviewed during the process.” – Kim Harms
- “We didn't realize what was causing the friction.” – Kim Harms
- “Being together with your family through this difficult time. Not only gave them the gift of compassion but also really craved a lot of healing.” - Dr. Carla Marie Manly
- “We went on a backpacking trip which we've done a few times but with our boys and it ended up being this crazy trip.” – Kim Harms
Resources Mentioned
- Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
- Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
- Kim Harms Website Facebook Instagram
- Podcast Editing